Another Christmas Problem

MY husband passed away 3 weeks ago. We were on a tight (fixed income) budget. Now it's even worse. I will have only about half the income that we had together. In fact, I won't be able to pay the mortgage on the house for very long. I'm not sure if everyone realizes just what a situation I'm in. And even if they do, I think they will probably forget by Christmas. I would prefer not giving and not receiving gifts,just spending Christmas with my son and his family. And they will understand. But my dh had 4 sons and 3 grandchildren and they will probably just think I'm Scrooge. Should I try to get a message across to them? Or just let it go and let them think I'm the Wicked Stepmother? Or just how should I handle this situation?

[terry1156]

First, let me say I am very sorry to hear about your husband. Money problems on top of grieving for the loss ao a family member just compounds the situation. My prayers go out to you.

I think that I would make the effort to explain the situation to them above not saying anything at all. That doesn't mean that they will get the message and understand, but at least you'll know that you tried. Then if they feel you are a scrouge after explaining, it is not because you didn't do your part, but because they just couldn't understand the situation. I don't think that you have to do this over the phone if you do not want to...if I were in a similar situation, I think I would write a card or letter to each of them explaining the current situation and although you are very sorry, you will not be exchanging gifts this year. Then it is up to them if they want to respond in any way from that.

[vendigirl]

I wanted to say how sorry I am as well.
I totally agree with the PP. I've never understood poeple who don't "get" Christmas as a time to enjoy each other without necessarily exchanging gifts. That said, Perhaps you could consider making or giving a small momento from or about your late DH. Home scanned and printed photos or other memorbilia would probably be appreciated. It's just a thought I had.

[2moretrees]

Having lost my own husband last year, I feel for the heartache you are going through in addition to the financial difficulties. My late husband's medical bills left me over $50,000 in debt which I'm working off slowly but surely.

I agree that letting the children know what is going on is a right move to make. After that, you can do as you please and let them think what they want. I'm glad that you have your son and his family for some mental support. Just remember to take things one day at a time and you'll eventually see a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Tree0164]

Pam I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I would really explain the situation to your DH sons. I am sure they will be understanding. Just spending time with love ones is one of the meanings of Christmas.