contributing to people you don't know...

[markio26]

i know we should donate at the office for funerals, birthdays, retirements, and the like... but, we have been hit 4 times this year for floral contributions for people we don't even know... for instance, the bosses wife, birthday... we don't even know her.. the office manager should be the one to get a birthday gift... we donated money for flowers to a woman, who died, just because her dad knew my dad????? and the like... are you guys doing this too... can you relate to what i mean.... our neighbors, who rarely speak to us, unless they want something.. asked to use our land and driveway for their daughters graduation party from nursing school on the day of the party... spouse said yes... we were invited on the spot and only had a couple of hours to dress and come up with money and gifts... i was livid...

[disneysteve]

I can't think of any time I've donated for a gift for someone I didn't know. Offhand, I can't think of any situation when I would.

[PRICEPLUS]

I would donate if it was for folks who needed the money due to mishap. I am not in the habit of donating money for gifts for people I do not know!

[LuxLiving]

Nope, I find it difficult enough to find the money sometimes to gift my own people like I would like, much less a stranger!

On asking to borrow land the day of a party - that was rude of them! To ask, not so much, but to wait to the last minute to do it? feels like a hold-up! I might have said yes at the last minute, but no to attending and gifting.

[markio26]

spouse told the neigbor we would attend.. the neighbor lady is should add, she only talks to son and spouse, rarely to me, unless she needs something... she even walked over and asked them one day where we bought our 2 durangos, son, and spouse has them... her hubby asked me last year where i bought my new dodge caravan..... i just stared at him for a moment.. i mean they don't even restablish repore, just nosey questions.....
on the contirbuting to flowers post above and such, mostly my siblings volunteer a donation for me, and then ask me to refund them.... i just try to keep the communication open and pay up, less hassle...

[JoyJoy]

I have this problem with donating to people that WE DO KNOW. Starting this year, however, I have put a stop to it. Using just one word "NO" isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I did find that once I stopped giving to my step-sister, I went on her "forget you list". I had a birthday on 2/15 and for the first time I didn't receive a card from her.

My advice....go on with your own life and use that money and kindness for yourself and your own family and for people who God directs you to help. Just my two-cents

[PetMom]

This is a concept referred to as the 'tin cup' as an expense at work.

I read in a book "Two Incomes and Still Broke?" that this is to be
considered an expense of working.

My husband comes home regularly with bought items that coworkers
have hit him up for especially for thier kids' fund raisers (eg. candy etc).
It is hard to say no to a coworker asking to help out their kid and
I think a bit unfair.

[Pupart]

I don't get asked much to contribute .
The fire dept in this area calls sometimes and asks for money.
I have told them I would donate some artwork and they could have a raffle at the Friday night bingo games. They always have some excsue why they can't do that. They could make a lot more from that than any amount I could give them.
I have suggested this to the political requests I get too, but nobody has taken me up on it.
I think some places need to be more creative in how they raise money. There are plently of artists and crafters out here who would love some free advertising . It could be a win win situation for everyone.
I donated a work to raise money for Katrina. The organization had a show of all the work people had donated and it did very well. They had the right idea!

[jodi]

We get hit up at work quite a bit. If it is someone I know well, than I will throw a few bucks in the card as it is passed. If I don't know them, then I will just pass the card on and not feel guilty about it. I could easily give something every week with all the collections.
As far as fundraisers go, I do not contribute to them either. It may be rude, but I am not going to spend my money for something overpriced that I don't even want. If it's for a good cause, then I would be happier to give a few bucks, because that's all they are going to earn anyway after they pay the company doing the fundraiser.

[Ima saver]

I did donate to a person that I did not know this past christmas. but it was because of a person that knew her on this forum. I feel like I helped out someone less fortunate than myself. Thank goodness we are not in a situation where we are asked to chip in at work.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by PetMom

It is hard to say no to a coworker asking to help out their kid and
I think a bit unfair.

I agree that it is unfair. Coworkers shouldn't put you in that situation. I never bring my daughter's fundraisers to the office. It is all horribly overpriced stuff - wrapping paper, candy, etc. I don't buy the stuff and I wouldn't expect anyone else to either. The Girl Scout magazine sale is actually a pretty good deal, but I don't bring that to work either. The only fundraiser I do take to work is Girl Scout cookies, but my coworkers actually look forward to that one.

[jodi]

I don't mind if fundraisers are brought to work and left in the breakroom, but I do mind being put on the spot by being asked outright to buy something. This happens often in our office - with kid's fundraisers as well as with the variety of other "money makers" that the staff participates in (i.e. Lia Sophia, Home Interiors, Creative Memories, etc.).

[Daylily]

The office where I used to work had something called the Sunshine Fund. The idea was that a group of people got together and each put in $10 a year. In the event that anyone in the group had a baby or had a death in the family a card and gift would be purchased from that kitty of money. The money carried over from year to year if there was a surplus.

Doing it this way kept people from being bothered to give money every time something good (or bad) happened to someone. I thought it was a good idea.

[kv968]

Maybe my thinking is a little off (wouldn't be the first time ), but wouldn't giving to a charity be considered "contributing to people you don't know"? I know this thread is about giving to a particular person but isn't a charity more or less the same thing just more diverse?

I mean I give money to people at work that I know but I also give money to charities and donate blood and I surely don't know who exactly is receiving those things.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by kv968

Maybe my thinking is a little off (wouldn't be the first time ), but wouldn't giving to a charity be considered "contributing to people you don't know"? I know this thread is about giving to a particular person but isn't a charity more or less the same thing just more diverse?

I understand your point, but I think you are comparing apples and oranges. Donating money to charity or donating blood to the Red Cross, which will go to help strangers, is much different than putting up money to buy a birthday present for someone I don't know or sending flowers after a death of someone I don't know. That isn't charity. The recipient doesn't need what is being sent. A better example would be donating to help a family you don't know whose house burned down (but honestly, I don't do that either).

So I think the distinction is gift versus charity. Two totally different things.

[nanamom]

My DH came home today and told me someone had sent him an email at work about a pizza fund raiser. I couldn't place the name and he said it was a guy who used ot be in his group a couple years ago and lives across from some friends of ours that have moved. I figured that out and then asked why he had a fund raiser when his eldest was barely out of diapers. Apparently his wife works at a school that is having a fund raiser. They didn't have any pizza's without meat so he emailed we were vegetarians and he sent a note back that they had cheesecake also. Needless to say we bought a cheesecake. I don't mind supporting schools after all I used to run one but wow I never asked people I didn't see except at fund raiser time

[DebbieL]

Nobody at my work ever gets asked to give to anything. I don't consider it an expense of working at all. When somebody is leaving the office (new job, etc) we will usually all take them to lunch and pay their share (might come to $2 per person). It would drive me batty if I were being hit up at work all the time. I am grateful that I work in a small office, and with a great group of people!

[fairy74]

I contribute to people at work, i.e. for birthdays, baby showers, the like and once in awhile for activities their kids collect for. If I am not comfortable with the cause or the occassion or it does not fit in the budget I am more than happy to tell someone no.

[lrjohnson]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I agree that it is unfair. Coworkers shouldn't put you in that situation. I never bring my daughter's fundraisers to the office. It is all horribly overpriced stuff - wrapping paper, candy, etc. I don't buy the stuff and I wouldn't expect anyone else to either. The Girl Scout magazine sale is actually a pretty good deal, but I don't bring that to work either. The only fundraiser I do take to work is Girl Scout cookies, but my coworkers actually look forward to that one.

Thank you! I am glad that the products can be seen as overpriced even by parents who have children selling the stuff.

I never buy the items being sold. If it is a cause I believe in (or school/children's activity I'd support), I will offer to make a straight donation.

When a group at work fundraises for a good cause, I tend to donate, but if there is pressure, I won't do it.

In my little group I will sometimes get the gifts for the coworkers. I charge the others the percentage of the cost. One guy can't handle that sometimes it is 75 cents each; he won't accept change for a dollar. I get nice items at garage sales and thrift stores. In case you all think my idea of nice is not the same as others, I continue to be the designated gift giver.

[richinspirits]

wow, this really makes me feel lucky that this is not an issue in my job! i work for a large corporation and there are about 400 people in my building. it must be that management has established this as a no-no. i do sometimes see forms left in the breakroom for children's fundraisers, which is non-obtrusive, and then i will sometimes see people who work together and are friends to look at their children's fundraisers, but not a lot of the random asking.

the other thing that i will see people advertise more is when they are doing something like a Heart Walk or Relay for Life, which is also more ok in my book than pushing useless items on people.

ugh, i just remembered that i did work somewhere else a couple of years ago with a Partylite gal who was always asking us to parties! i would always come up with an excuse. that is the worst in my opinion, because it is not even benefitting anyone but the person throwing the party! someone that you don't really like or talk to a lot saying "help me get presents for myself!" man!