Dad asking me to pay for the house expenses.

[boefixepa]

I've been in a similar situation for completely different reason and let's just say that my parents and I have VERY different ideas when it comes to money and financial responsibilities. I can't tell you the 'best' thing to do, but I will tell you what I did.

1. I NEVER asked nor accepted any money or help from them - they would hold it over my head.

2. I worked through high school and paid for all of my own expenses, ie, school clothes, car, car insurance, driver ed, etc. Now if you asked my mother, she doesn't remember that I paid for the second car...which by the way was 'taken' away from me for my father to drive back and forth to work.....uugghh...but what was I suppose to say. Let him take the family car and then leave my mother & brothers there with nothing....see my problem

3. I left as soon as I possibly could, two months after I graduate from high school and moved away. I never asked them to pay a penny for school nor support me in any way.

4. The one time I did go back for a few months I saw the 'I want money' thing coming. I meet it head on and said that here is XX amount of money per week and I don't want to hear another peep about it (though nicer and more diplomatic). It worked for the 4 months I was there 2 before and 2 after my trip to europe/africa. It was a hard time for me as it seemed they were always trying to find ways for me to pay for things. I was out of there again as soon as I could.

Money has always been difficult for me and my relationship with my family. I feel I have been greatly taken advantage of numerous time and have gone over and above to help out. What I feel I get in return is thought of as greedy and snubbed. It caused me at one point to completely disance my self from my family until they learned they had to do it without me. Over the last few years, now that they are more 'grown up' things are going better and I can't complain as we are working to figure out our adult relationships. Money is one of those subjects I try to avoid.

Whatever you choose to do be patient. Time has a way of healing wounds. I know you hear lots of things about family and most are true, but I finally reached my ropes end on being taken advantage of.

Personally I think your father is taking things too far. The sushi dinner is a shocker to me. I don't know why he feels the way he does, but hopefully over time his perspective will shift and he will come to respect you more. Whatever you choose to do....best of luck.

Priceplus : The money that I earn, I pay most of the things that I need and want by myself except those big expensive stuff like school books. I going to try to talk to him if ever he gets into the money subject again. He's really busy these days.


MonkeyMama : Yeah maybe if I bring the thread out although, I'm not too sure. I think I should tell him. It's better than him knowing that I'm talking about him on the net.

Luxliving : My brother is 20 years old and my dad offers to pay him 100$/week for his personal expense and school expenses. He told him to learn to budget his money... ._____." A P.O box... Never heard of that. Where can I get one ? In case that my dad starts checking my bank account and such.

Miclason : The problem is, we're not in a financial problem... My dad will take us to Disney this March as a gift for my little sister. *scratch head* If he could afford trips then I don't think I should pay part of the house bill. If we have financial problem, I have to think more than twice before paying for some of the utilities because we never know what they'll do with me later on. I will probably get abused, my brother and sister will be spare... Because they don't want to work.

Hot_dog : I contribute by paying my own things. If I need something, I'll buy it by myself but not school books, it'll wipe out all of my earning in a month and a half. @.@ I hate to see all my money go in one shot. I don't pay for my parents dinner like your son does, but I might do that later on if I get a degree or something because I'm currently saving for my trip and my expense. I told my dad that I'm saving for a trip and he's always saying : What?! It only costs you 2$ each day, you can still afford to go!

PrincessPerky : I guess it's part of the family to get offended... LOL... Well yeah I'll try to be respectable with him if ever he jumps into the money subject again. I guess part of the problem now is the money subject. He knows very well that I don't throw my money around. >.<"

Fern : I think I already explain that I wouldn't pay part of the house bill because of their ways of spending. Even if I buy groceries, my sister and my mom wouldn't eat it and they work in a grocery store. I think you have an idea where our food is coming from.

Vishenda : I agree with you. I would help them out if they have financial difficulty if they cut back on a few things and if they can't make it, then I would try to help.

Boefixepa : Wow... I hope they won't turn like that. I don't want to be seen as an ATM bank. ._______." I've been taking advantage to work at my dad's grocery store. He keeps me away from my social life most of the time and I couldn't go out in some days that I planned already.

I hope time will heal too though but I'm keeping my patience and I'm going to have to live with it for the next few years or so.

[LuxLiving]

P.O.Box - post office box - available for rent here at our local post office and in a few drugstore and copy machine places that also have mailing services. You pay a rental fee to them in order to get the place to have your mail received at and stored for you until you come to retrieve it. The P.O.Box number then becomes your mailing address:

Tina20
P.O.Box 130
Your City, State, Country, Province or whatever.

You inform your creditors/bank/broker, whomever that you want to switch this to be your new mailing address.

Sorry if this is over simplified, I just wanted you to understand.

[Fern]

OK, wel then you could choose some other reguarlly recurring expense, if not groceries it cold be electricity or whatever.

Originally Posted by LuxLiving

P.O.Box - post office box - available for rent here at our local post office and in a few drugstore and copy machine places that also have mailing services. You pay a rental fee to them in order to get the place to have your mail received at and stored for you until you come to retrieve it. The P.O.Box number then becomes your mailing address:

Tina20
P.O.Box 130
Your City, State, Country, Province or whatever.

You inform your creditors/bank/broker, whomever that you want to switch this to be your new mailing address.

Sorry if this is over simplified, I just wanted you to understand.

OOH now I get it! Yeah, I'll get one if there's any more problems concerning money.