how much do you really spend on a wedding gift?

markio26 · #1 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 09:57 AM

one of my friends is getting married in oct. 08, a scottish wedding..... it is already beginning to cost me, with meetings, luncheons and all.....i am usually out $100 or more for a gift or two.... i am not invited to the wedding.. just the reception......but, i am the planner...it seems...

sweeps · #2 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 10:12 AM

Acquaintance $40-50
Relative/friend $100-$120

DebbieL · #3 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 10:52 AM

Someone close to me: $50 or so.
Anyone else: politely decline the invitation.

Aleta · #4 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 10:57 AM

I agree with Debbie. There are just too many weddings, baby showers (that include luncheons), graduations, birthday parties. The larger your family the more that you have to keep up with. You have to pick and choose. $50. is about right or a gift.

fairy74 · #5 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:02 AM

someone I'm not close to: Nice card and decline invtation

friend: Nice card, 25-50 gift certificate, I will attend either a shower or the actual event but not both

family member: Nice card, $50 cash for wedding gift and a smaller gift for shower ($20-30)

fairy74 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:03 AM

markio, did I read this correctly you are doing the planning and invited to the reception but not the ceremony???

fairy74 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:07 AM

markio, did I read this correctly you are doing the planning and invited to the reception but not the ceremony???

Aleta · #8 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:08 AM

I've always heard that if you give a gift at the shower that you don't give one at the wedding. Normally, I have seen people bring gifts at the wedding or send them if they didn't go to a shower or live a far distance off. I don't think you should have to do both and what happened to getting gifts rather than money?

JanH · #9 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fairy74

markio, did I read this correctly you are doing the planning and invited to the reception but not the ceremony???

I was wondering the same thing. Unless it is family only, but if you are planning things and doing all that work for them.......

Ima saver · #10 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:43 AM

I send a check for $50! Don't people write thank yous any more?

boefixepa · #11 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:50 AM

If I don't know them, I don't go. If I know them 50-100. If it's a close friend or family and I am invited to the shower then I will give a 20-40 dollar gift then too.

nanamom · #12 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 11:53 AM

I spend about 50 on a gift if they are family. I rarely give cash for anything. I try to make showers if possible and if I can't and they are family I send a gift. For friends I go with something around 25 dollars or so. Often we give a nice couples Bible for a gift.
i don't understand how you can be planning but not involved in the ceremony, or at least attending it. I though the attendants did the planning?

MonkeyMama · #13 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 12:21 PM

Hmmmm, depends. I think this year we sent a $30 g.c. to friends we could not make it to their wedding. We just didn't have more in the budget. Would have given more if we had made it and eaten dinner, etc.

It just depends. People were extremely generous at our wedding and we try to give $50-$100 when we can. But only to very close friends and family. All the acquantances, we usually decline or give a token $20. Just depends.

I don't do showers - I can't think of 1 wedding shower I have ever been to except my SILs and I was a bridesmaid. I just don't *get* bridal showers overall.

Coleroo · #14 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 12:30 PM

My hubby's sister just got married in November - we spent about $80 on gifts, but also had to travel to new york (from south carolina) so we had about another $200 in gas / misc travel expenses.

I would probably do between $100 to 200 on a close relative, $50 on a close friend, and maybe just 20 bucks and a card on someone I wasnt extremely close to.

Greatfully I do not have that many weddings come around though - if I did, those numbers would probably be cut in half.

~ Lisa

Gruntina · #15 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 12:46 PM

It really depends... I have been to a wedding where I had to fly to NY from CA to attend. I would think the gift would not have to be as expensive because just getting there was expensive. However... at that time I was a Pampered Chef consultant and had a lot of bonus products I could uses for gifts.

I would also think if you are very close to the person... and you are finacially strapped.. They are more understanding of you not providing an expensive gift. I remember in my past when I was broke, I offer to do any help and did some errands with the bride so she knows I was thinking of her.

with my upcoming wedding... I am not even doing any bridal registary.. I dont want people to feel like they are obligated to bring gifts.

pearlieq · #16 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 02:04 PM

Around here it's the norm to offer gifts for both the shower and the wedding. For the shower you give something off the registry and for the wedding you give money. It works out very well and I really like that system.

I'll usually spend about $75 on a shower gift and another $75 check for the wedding. More if someone is close to me, less (but never lower than $25 for shower/$50 for wedding check) if we're not close.

living_in_oz · #17 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 02:05 PM

$50 to $100???!! You guys must have more money than me!LOL For a VERY close family member I MIGHT spend $50(if they haven't lived together for like 3 years already!!GRRR, that's a pet peeve of mine!). If it's just a family friend that I feel like I really need to go to a wedding for, it's more like $20 or $25. I can't spend more money than that. I refuse to take money away from my family just to pay for a gift for someone else. Generally, I can find a pretty nice gift for $25 or less.

MarianneJ · #18 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 02:16 PM

If I am going to give cash (which is when I can afford it), then I will give $100 - or more if I am close to the person and I can afford it. Anything less and it wouldn't even cover my meal at the reception. I think that is poor taste, although I know plenty will disagree.

If I can't afford to give cash, I will find a meaningful gift in my price range - usually a personalized throw or something I know the couple will enjoy.

I try to be as generous as possible since I know my DH and I really appreciated our family and friends' generosity when we were married.
My sweet cousin and his wife were married last summer, and I waited to give them a gift because we could not afford to be generous at that time. As soon as our tax refund comes in they will be getting a nice surprise in the mail!

tgavin71 · #19 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 02:32 PM

If I was doing all the work and not invited to the ceremony I wouldn't spend any money on a present. In fact it is they who should be paying you.
I'd be insulted if I was only invited to one. Its like saying. "Your good enough to come and party with us but not to witness our marriage".
I wouldn't go full stop. There you go problem solved.

kealina · #20 (**permalink**) 01-25-2007, 02:49 PM

i haven't really been to any weddings but i think for close family $100, more distant relatives/close friends about $50-75 and everybody else decline. i wouldn't go to showers unless it was family. i would get a small gift for most showers. of course this is assuming it's in the budget and also assuming it's local and easy to get to. then again, like a coleroo mentioned it depends on the amount of weddings and things i would go to... luckily, our family is fairly small and we only choose to have a few close friends so we know that the amount of weddings we would go to over the next few years is slim if any...