ethical problem

[benosayi]

I would just leave it in the shed. If I needed the space I would throw it out. If she wanted it she would have made sure to send you the address. I think she is playing games and I would refuse to play.

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by starving_student

So as it as been a year, should I let sleeping dog lie and get rid of that thing one way or another. Or do I have an obligation to contact her and make the effort to send it wether it is at my expense or not? Or am I just worrying too much about little meaningless details?

This is just me speaking for myself, but if I actually gave my word to do something specific, I would do just that. So, it really depends on exactly what you told her in response to her request. At least, that's what it would come down to if I was in your shoes.

In my book, a man's word is the truest reflection his character, and I take my word very seriously.

I live by those Shakespearean words, "My honor is my life. Take honor from me, and my life is done." What can I say? I'm an old-fashioned fool that way. But the point is, if I promised to get it back to her, I would, regardless of the circumstance or the price. Please remember that just because she betrayed you, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to betray her back. But if I didn't promise anything, it could go straight to the trash for all I care.

[LuckyRobin]

If she never gave you an address to ship it to, than its obvious you can't ship it anyway. If you know an address of phone number for her parents, I would try asking them for her current info, contact her, ask her if she still wants it and if so to send you $X for shipping and you will get it to her, otherwise you are going to dispose of it within 3 months. If there is no reply, than do so.

[poundwise]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

This is just me speaking for myself, but if I actually gave my word to do something specific, I would do just that. So, it really depends on exactly what you told her in response to her request. At least, that's what it would come down to if I was in your shoes.

In my book, a man's word is the truest reflection his character, and I take my word very seriously.

I, for one, appreciate this thought and attitude. It is one which is much more often spoken than utilized by people.

However, in the original post, the person left the object in another's care and was supposed to return to retrieve it in six months. It has been, according to the same post, a year and a half. I think it is in keeping with honoring one's word to be concerned about the matter still and to make some effort to contact the person and make arrangements for them to get it, either by coming to get it or paying for it to be shipped.

[PrincessPerky]

Ill ditto BA, try the parents, try for an address, then donate it to the good will.

I had a book I borrowed, kept it for years while trying to track down the address of the origional owner, now I wish I were cool enough to have found it and returned it, but instead, I donated it. after years of cleaning house and being faced with reminders of my failure, I forgave myself, sent up a prayer of appology, and amendum to NEVER borrow something for more than a week (hard to lose a person in a week) I gave it up, and havn't really thought about it till this thread, meaning almost a year of peace when cleaning up.

do try your best to do the right thing (within limits, no hiring a PI!) then give it up knowing you did your best, and move on. The sooner you move on the better (for you) IMO

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

do try your best to do the right thing (within limits, no hiring a PI!) then give it up knowing you did your best, and move on

Awww man, no seriously creepy stalking allowed? That's no fun.

[creditcardfree]

Does she still have the email address? Try that first. Give her a final offer...ship at her expense or toss it out...let her decide. And give her a deadline.

No email or way to contact her...make the best judgement that you can live with.

[rob62521]

Originally Posted by Lori63

Ditto!

Ditto again! I would say you should ask her to either come to retrieve it, prepay, or let you know what she wants you to do with it. And, I think you should give her a reasonable time limit...by this certain date if I do not hear from you I'm going to donate it to charity.