what to do for a funeral

[PrincessPerky]

We know them, but not close, the kid was in the nursery rarely with out kids.

I think flowers are rather, expensive, and you then have to figure out what to do with them (just had to help MIL with the trouble), and in this case they lost the house in addition to two girls...I was thinking donation to a kid thing in memory, but they lost the house and all contents.....but cash seems so impersonal...

heh, oddly enough I had a thought of a kitchen arrangement made up like a flower arrangement (forks and spoons instead of flowers) but..well..not very funerally...


Plus well...I can hazard a guess they have insurance to pay for the stuff..but the photos of the kids are the priceless things.....that you can't replace, and that I can't help with....

[PRICEPLUS]

I always feel so uncomfortable dealing with funerals. The wife and I usually send a sympathy card. We have cooked meals for peoples family. It is always a tough call as to what you should do. Tough call.

[JanH]

Sometimes a bank account is set up for a family that has lost everything, but I wouldn't know how to go about verifying its authenticity. I remember getting a list of toy ideas from a nursery program where one little girl we knew had a fire. We bought some of her favorite toys to give to her. I wouldn't know about a funeral. Perhaps gift cards to groceries or walmart or a mall to be able to get clothes, maybe attached to a potted plant?

[disneysteve]

You've really got two separate issues. The funeral and the fire loss.

For a funeral, we usually make a charitable donation in memory of the person who died.

The fire loss is a whole different thing. If they lost everything, I'd want to do something to help. Insurance is nice, but it certainly doesn't replace everything. I like the suggestion to do a practical gift card like the supermarket or Target or Wal-Mart. If there has been a fund set up for them, a contribution to that would be a good way to go also.

[beebop25blue25]

Sometimes in our area, a bank will set up a fund to help the family! So donations can be made to that account to help the family. It that case, we always send a sympathy card and the bank sends out a card to the family to let them know a contribution was made from us.

If an account is not set up, I'd send a sympathy card and include a check/money to help with any expenses that insurance won't cover. I'm sure any kind of aknowlegement and contributions will be appreciated by the family!! What a terrible time they are having!!

[PRICEPLUS]

Certainly a contributon to a fund set up for the family is appropriate. An offer of services or a gift of money might also be appropriate. I just don't know enough of the particulars. I always feel uneasy trying to do the right thing in these circumstances. I am loathe to offend anyone especially at such a distressing time!

[PrincessPerky]

I just got an email from the pastor requesting people NOT ofer or ask about 'stuff' but that there is a fund set up for cash.

I think the fund for now I can do, and wait and see for a 'need' list for when they are ready...funeral takes precedence over the house loss..they are apparently staying with family for the duration, so no 'stuff' is needed yet.

Thank you for all your suggestions.

[tinapbeana]

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

We know them, but not close, the kid was in the nursery rarely with out kids.
...
Plus well...I can hazard a guess they have insurance to pay for the stuff..but the photos of the kids are the priceless things.....that you can't replace, and that I can't help with....

As for the photos: perhaps ask around in the church/community and see if anyone has event photos with their children in them? Have copies made and those can be given or a remembrance poster can be made for display at the service.

[PrincessPerky]

cool idea...