double talk!!!

[markio26]

we have been getting together with our family and friends lately... parties and such.... is it me or are ppl. double talking more.... they ask us, everything in the world, from how much money we have, talk about diet, the lord coming, kids, etc.... then they give us several explanations to subjects about their life style and experiences... i cannot learn anything.....and do not want to from them.....then we have the gossipers, the ones who arrive late, so, we lie to them about the get together time....but, we still have our lifers, the ones who want to learn new things, have a happy marriage, and are honest about what they want to disclose about their life...do you guys know what i mean??? also, some relatives and friends are insulting and difficult... i am extra kind to them, because i think they are lonely....

[Fern]

The world is made up of all kinds of people. If they were all like us it'd probably be boring, so learn what you can and enjoy those you like, tolerate those you don't like.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I don't really think I understand what you are describing, but I do have more recent experiences with difficult people than seems normal. Not difficult in the sense of being rude, pushy, inconsiderate, or obnoxious. But difficult in that they are extremely emotionally needy. I want to be kind and gracious, but these people can be so draining to me. There is no hope that this is just a "holidays" situation, so I see no hope that it will come to an end. I've simply recently collected more than my share of tormented, sad souls. And being with them is a workout for my soul.

[markio26]

i just returned from my 6 month dental cleaning and check up... i asked the office manager, dentist, dental assistant, and the hygienist... they said ppl. tell them different answers within a ten minute conversation... this is what i am referring to double talk......for example:
one guy purchased a new vehicle... he told them all a different tale they said about his deal....maybe this is something that is going on in ohio in my area.. ford motor co.. shut down.. maybe it is a way of talking and not listening to what you have said....trying to keep the floor, so, to speak without letting the attention move on to another person...?????

[PrincessPerky]

I keep telling my kids, I cannot change the world, I can only control me, regardless of what others say or do, I will try to hold true to my standards.

as for is there more of it..well, maybe.

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

I keep telling my kids, I cannot change the world, I can only control me, regardless of what others say or do, I will try to hold true to my standards.

There is much wisdom and truth in this deceptively simple phrase.

[markio26]

i am still watching people double talk me... this is so new to me, and strange at times... most of my past encounters have been with nosey people, you know the ones who ask a ton of questions and interview me, then i don't get a word in edge wise...it seems to me, ppl are double talking to avoid their privacy or using it as a way to control...or something like that?????? they seem to put down other ppl.. and i am always positive... so, i usually say something nice... for instance, my mothernlaw recently got me cornered and started telling me, who in her family has already got the most from her, and she said the 5 kids would probably disagree if something happened to her about her estate if she died.... i just listened, and said to her, can't they see that your still young and vibrant???? anyway she should have cornered spouse... i feel it is none of my business..

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

When I responded to your message back in December I thought I was surrounded by quite a few tortured souls who were hard to be with. Those people are still with me, but in recent days I feel more aware of the good, honest, articulate, interesting, wholesome, kind, dependable, honorable people in my life. I think I'm really lucky.

I guess I do know the kind of blabbering you are asking about, though. I think it does tend to come from some sort of insecurity in people. Or sometimes people might just be kind of thinking out loud. Maybe they haven't given previous quality thought to their topic, so they can give one opinion one time, another opinion next time. Or, maybe, like me, their perceptions have just changed.

[PRICEPLUS]

I find as I get older I like to listen more than I like to talk. People are people and very little they say these days surprises or upsets me. I get a better feel for people and I have been complimented for being a good conversationalist. Listening is so much moreproductive for me.

[Gruntina]

I just tell them straight... "let's pray for this person" to whome they are gossiping about....."Let's talk about good things" when they bring up negative news....."how can I help encourage you" when they bring up bad things about their situation....

They usually change light of the subject that moment.

[PRICEPLUS]

Gruntina that is a very tactful and positive way of dealing with things.

[markio26]

thanks for the replies.... wonderful suggestions... thanks... i still find it hard to give attention to ppl. who double talk... i fade out, so, to speak.....hehe....

[PRICEPLUS]

I hear you! But it always best ot be polite to folks!

[markio26]

pp thanks for the reminder to be polite... i am always very cordial and in a happy mood to everyone i meet... i am one of those that keeps alot of the bad memories and experiences to myself... those ppl. need more politeness.. i agree... most often when we eat out, i say to whoever waits on me first, good to see you again, even if i don't know them... sometimes i ask them if i know them from church, just to break the ice... also, if our food is really great or even good, i always thank the cook personally... and we always tip over 20%... sometimes if i have a food cpn or something left in the entertainment book, i give it away with the tip money....