Wedding Ring: How do you choose one?

[Gruntina]

I was given a choice to pick out any wedding ring I would want. I used to dream of having a nice one when I was younger. After a few years of working hard to pay off an incredibly high amount of debt and finding a path to financial freedom, my thinking has changed so much.

Now I feel I can't pick one and I don't even know what I want. I been so disciplined into buying things that I need. Actually so disciplined that buying something other than needs feels so unnatural to me that it makes me feel awkward. I do need a wedding ring of some sort to symbolize a confirmation of marriage but how far should one go when it comes to picking out a ring regarding price and material?

We will pay rings with cash so no incurring debt will happen.

[JanH]

Have you just windowshopped? I think I would go and just look at all the types and shapes and not think of costs at first. You might just fall in love with a style. You will find out what you like--big or little, wide or narrow, stones--oval, pear, diamond, round, metal-gold, silver, platinum. Then you can see what your options are in price. We had little money when we picked ours out and found some we really loved with a carving on them for not much money. We've had a lot of compliments on them. They don't have to be traditional. It is your own statement.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

we don't even wear ours. Maybe if they were nice, but hey are simple white gold bands.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Gruntina

I been so disciplined into buying things that I need. Actually so disciplined that buying something other than needs feels so unnatural to me that it makes me feel awkward.

I can understand this way of thinking - I'm sure all of us here can. But remember that all saving all the time isn't the way to go through life either. Part of the reason for being frugal and responsible and saving is so that you have money available to spend on things that really matter to you, whether that be a vacation or a house or a car or a wedding ring.

I really don't recall feeling bad about buying our rings because I knew they were something that we'd wear for the rest of our lives. I didn't want to go cheap just to save money and regret it for years to come. Of course, I also didn't want to blow thousands of dollars for no good reason. I came up with a figure that I was comfortable with and our jeweler worked with us with that figure in mind, showing us the various types of rings we could get within that budget. My wife and I were both very happy with our selections and almost 15 years later, we still are, and still get compliments on our rings, so I think we made good choices.

[Ima saver]

We don't wear ours either. I can't see spending a lot of money.

[zakity]

I would recommend a smaller ring that you can wear all the time (ie, you won't be afraid of scratching babies and such or getting soaps in the crevices and so you take it off all the time).

Pick them out together. I know a couple that couldn't afford wedding rings and so they bought silver claddagh rings with the intentions to buy more expensive rings later on. That was like 20 years ago, they are still wearing their rings. They looked sort of like this, only silver (http://dvb.ie/Merchant2/merchant.mvc...o de=R326R327).

Think about the colors you wear and your skin coloring. I bought a simple gold ring with a few flat rubies and diamond accents as my wedding ring. It is great for being flat, but my skin coloring looks horrid next to gold. I never wear it because I feel like it makes me look jaundiced and the rest of my jewelry is silver (and I hate rings).

[PrincessPerky]

I wear mine, and DH his..they don't match...mine is white gold and gold, with mini diamonds...his is a plain white gold band....

when I picked it I 'window shopped' found the perfect one..then window shopped for a cheaper version! Honestly I do wear it almost non stop (while pregnant I wear it on my necklace) so it had to look good on me..but as for material..eh..not to picky, but it does need to stand up to wear and tear of a housewife..no rusting in the dishwater!

Anyway..making a lifelong commitment IMO should come with an outward sign..but if you are not comfortable tell him..it is your wedding, and your hand..do what you want!

Only thing I wish I thought of, my engagement ring I never wear, the stone sticks up..so it 'catches' on things like kids hair....though I don't recall what you do.....

btw congrats!

[HalMd]

Get the book called How to Buy a Diamond by Fred Cuellar. I have used it to buy two diamonds. I highly recommend this book.

When it comes to buying the diamond of your lifetime, get the best you can afford. You will cherish it forever.

[tinapbeana]

depends on if you're talking a wedding band or a ring involving diamonds. it's personal preference, and i personally can't stand to wear stones. it freaks me out, what can i say.... i picked out a $78 white gold band and DH and i bought it before we even had decided when we were going to get married: very simple and the only women's ring i could personally stand. not the greatest quality, in retrospect.

we got DH's band about 6 months after we got married: titanium with a gold stripe inlay. beautiful and indistructible! while i intend on keeping my original band, i would also like to 'upgrade' to a titanium band to match his. plus, i know it'll withstand wear and tear better than what i've got.

[poundwise]

My wife and I bought simple 14K gold bands nearly 17 years ago and they have been just fine. Frankly, it is not a frugal issue in my mind. If I had all the money in the world, I'd still not buy anything more expensive.

[BCHGRL]

I have a very high quality but relatively small ring (.5 carat). It has no flaws and it very high on all the quality scale. Mine is eye-catching even though it is not large. My wedding band has sapphires on both sides of the ring that make it stand out even more. I'm sure it has and will hold its resale value too although I don't plan on selling it.

I just don't see the purpose of buying a large ring with poor quality.

[Gruntina]

My fiancé actually handmade my engagement rings out of wires. It's very beautiful with two hearts, however as much as I love it, it is not practical to wear as it will snag everything and it would very easily break. He made it only for the proposal as he wanted to show it was from his heart. I treasure this ring.

I do not want a set I.e. bridal set or engagement ring with a wedding band. I just want a single ring.

Thanks for your thoughts. Hearing different perspectives helps bringing my thoughts into reality than a mental picture. I would like to get a ring that I would wear at all times and want to wear it with pride that I found someone that I wanted to be with as that what counts the most.

Thanks goodness I am in no rush to get a ring... wedding will be in May. I have been battling with not allowing myself to enjoy some good things often while trying to be practical all the time. Someone once told me if I was not accepting a nice gift or feeling guilty about having something I have (that was well earned or deserved) then I was letting the devil steal my joy.

I like the idea of getting something that is durable to wear and that will not snag or hurt other people with it. It would also be something I would have to look at everyday. My goal is to find something that is reasonable and will not make me regret or feel selfish later. I have to admit, I am very feminine and enjoy pretty things but the same time I am a tomboy at heart.

[JanH]

You'll know it when you see it.

[kealina]

Originally Posted by Gruntina

My fiancé actually handmade my engagement rings out of wires. It's very beautiful with two hearts, however as much as I love it, it is not practical to wear as it will snag everything and it would very easily break. He made it only for the proposal as he wanted to show it was from his heart. I treasure this ring.

I do not want a set I.e. bridal set or engagement ring with a wedding band. I just want a single ring.

Thanks for your thoughts. Hearing different perspectives helps bringing my thoughts into reality than a mental picture. I would like to get a ring that I would wear at all times and want to wear it with pride that I found someone that I wanted to be with as that what counts the most.

Thanks goodness I am in no rush to get a ring... wedding will be in May. I have been battling with not allowing myself to enjoy some good things often while trying to be practical all the time. Someone once told me if I was not accepting a nice gift or feeling guilty about having something I have (that was well earned or deserved) then I was letting the devil steal my joy.

I like the idea of getting something that is durable to wear and that will not snag or hurt other people with it. It would also be something I would have to look at everyday. My goal is to find something that is reasonable and will not make me regret or feel selfish later. I have to admit, I am very feminine and enjoy pretty things but the same time I am a tomboy at heart.

it's so cute that he made you a ring... awww.

yep, definately pick a ring you can wear long-term... i have a gold band (looks good with my skintone and matches my other jewelry) with a couple of small quality diamonds only because i have connections to a jeweler... otherwise i'd probably have gotten some kind of simple gold band with a nice texture or small design... before you choose, look around and do research on materials...

the problem i'd heard about with titanium ( i think) or some similar metal was that since it's indestructable if there is some sort of accident and your hand is crushed, it is difficult to remove and may cause problems... maybe google it?

also, princessperky is right about stones that stick up... they catch on everything and i definately prefer my simple band... and BCHGRL has a point too about quality... it depends on your preference... i prefer quality over size for my dollars... my ring is smaller than hers but a pretty decent quality and i am glad about that every time i see an ad on craigslist for diamond rings...

i hope you find something you can enjoy for years to come...

[threebeansalad]

.. and remember that if you want a stone, there are other stones besides diamonds! I have a beautiful sapphire ring. I will not support the DeBeers with my $$.

[scfr]

I like the Blue Nile web site: www.bluenile.com
You can do a lot of "window shopping" from the comfort of your own home.
Their educational section is great.
I heard somewhere that they buy from the same wholesalers as Tiffany's.
And they have an awesome reputation for having many women in high-ranking executive and board positions, which IMHO makes them a company worthy of support.

On a different note, you can add a lot of sentiment to your bands for little money by having something special engraved on the inside of the bands.

[Gruntina]

If the stones are really small... can people really tell from a good quality diamonds from a lesser quality?

[Hot dog]

you can definitely tell I went and looked at some necklaces that are onsale for maybe 50$ at a department store and they are more white than clear even though they are small. I got my ring by seeing an ok ring at the jeweler and getting a good price quote. They then sent away to all of their stores for the same ring, same upc or whatever, and the rings they sent were all different quality but same upc so I ended up with a beautiful clear ring for the price they quoted on a lesser quality.

[CraigThor]

when I picked out my wifes ring a year ago, we went shopping for an ice cream maker and made our way to the rings and I asked which one she liked the best. We had only known each other for about 3 months and 3 weeks later we were engaged. Feb 11th is our 1 yr anniversary. I got her a white gold ring with 9 small diamonds that totaled 3/4 ct. small narrow band. The ring was called the Past, Present and future ring. After I got hers we found a ring for my just a 1/4" wide band w/ 9 really tiny diamonds totaling 1/3 ct. Together both rings came out to about $1500 hers being just over 1k.