teenager and cell phones?

[Hot dog]

Please stick with me I will try to not be too long winded. My son's grandmother has promised to take him to go get a cell phone this Sat. He is 16 yr old and has a job for a year makes about $240 a month. I call his grandmom to tell her I am not sure about this cell phone plan. He has to get into a two year contract. It is $50 a month that is $1200. She replies it is his money and he should be able to get what he wants he should be able to afford it. I respond he doesn't have a car. He needs to save for one and then he is going to have insurance and gas money. she responds now you know you are going to have to pay for his insurance you get money for these children (I do) and that is what you need to use it for. I tell her he will pay a portion of his insurance so that he can learn about responsibility and what comes along with having a license. It costs $400 for drivers ed. I told him he pays for that I will give him half of what he has saved toward a car. She states several and I mean several times that she is not going to pay any money to the phone. so then I ask her if she knows she is going to have to cosign and make sure she wants to do this he can't for a two year agreement (not 18) she still responds she's not paying any $ I've never mentioned her paying any $ just if she said she'll sign. so I ask are you saying I am going to be responsible if he can't make the payments so in a round about way she says yes I tell her look I don't have a phone myself and I am not paying anything for that phone either so you need to decide if you want to sign. She says you should have a phone and put your kids on the plan I just tell her it is not a necessity and it is my choice not to have one. She kept saying you need to talk to your son I am not getting involved but she has gotten involved by telling him she'd take him without talking to me first. I don't know she has this intimidating way about her tries to make you feel beneath her. She just makes me feel like a teenage parent again not doing anything right. Now here I am needing confirmation from you to see if I am doing something wrong. What would you do? Do I let him get a phone It is his money I just tell him 1200-1500 would do a lot for a car or college.

[Homebody]

Well I am a believer in cell phones once your teenager starts driving. BUT why not get one of those cheap kinds that have refillable minutes. That way he has an emergency phone.

I don't personally have a cell phone, but the rest of my family does. My YD is using hers instead of a landline here in North Carolina because basic service is $44.00 a month, which is twice as much as where I live in California.

That would be a good compromise if you are looking for one. Otherwise you are the parent. Just say NO!

[poundwise]

I don't see a problem here. She isn't going to co-sign. You aren't going to co-sign. So, he can't get a phone w/contract, right? End of (that) story.

The previous poster's idea of a pre-paid cell may be a good way to go. Two victories can be had: 1) He gets a phone and the independence of being able to use minutes and add them himself, etc. 2) He learns responsibility because when he runs low on minutes, he'll have to buy more.

Some kids will not want some of the cheapest pre-paid phones and I don't blame them. However, certain carriers, Alltel and Virgin come to mind, have some nice, stylish phones for a reasonable price and offer a few different plan/payment schemes.

[Hot dog]

She evidently is going to sign but then expected me to be responsible if he doesn't pay. I think he will but 2 yrs is a long time and he wants a new one when the new ones come out. He does have a prepaid he has had three Lost first one bought by grandmom 2nd one he bought and sold cause he wanted the third now the third he dropped and screen doesn't work. So she said she will take him to get the next and get a plan without consulting me first. He wants verizon Has cingular says all his friends have verizon so it will be free to talk to them. He can get a prepaid on his own Now I just here you just don't want mom mom to sign for me. He doesn't have a checking account to even pay the bill every month. Should it be an easy decision She is just intimidating.

[Broken Arrow]

I don't see a problem with the idea until someone else has to co-sign or be expected to pay if he is delinquent. If they want a cellphone, they will have to learn to be fully responsible for it. It's a good way for them to get a taste of the real world actually.

[PrincessPerky]

First.... tough thing, the 'kid' is 16...grown up enough to think he is...kid enough to not be...

Second..I agree with your mom, talk to him...I can't get my MIL to stop feeding cookies to my 4 year old, but I CAN get my 4 year old to ask me first....not that your mom should be putting you in this position, but that you will have better success trying to help your kid understand the why than changing your mother...IMO anyway

Can't blame him for wanting one..I would want my teen to have one, if they were often away form a free phone, but then I wouldn't want to pay a two year contract on a phone the kid will break..and be unable to use!

But on the other hand, having a monthly bill is a good practice for..err having them heh, and 50 a month is a lowish responsibility but it is 1/5 of his monthly salary...but well, truthfully, he is prolly going to screw up monitarily at some point in his life....might be better in the long run if you let him do this now(after laying out the facts, calmly) then he waits till he has a job making thousands, and buys a fancy new toy for 500 a month and fails to pay..does that make sense?

and to sum it all up, boy am I glad my kids are still young! I do not envy your troubles at all!

[poundwise]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

I don't see a problem with the idea until someone else has to co-sign or be expected to pay if he is delinquent. If they want a cellphone, they will have to learn to be fully responsible for it. It's a good way for them to get a taste of the real world actually.

Except for the fact that he is a minor and the poster is apparently legally responsible for him; grandma's co-signing or not. Based on the history given, there is no way this guy should have a 2-year contract and phone. Sounds to me like he is a bit of brat who feels entitled. If he wants a phone, let him buy a pre-paid phone for himself. There is no reason to obligate anyone for 2-years, especially when a 16 year old has already been through, what, 3 phones?

[PrincessPerky]

PS..get him a checking account...maybe tell him if he puts 75 a month in it you will let him get the phone..he is good for 3 months, you help him pick it out ..(50 for phone, 25 for car)

or whatever deal you think makes the most sense...if he is rational (not all teens are! something about hte growing hormones!) he will prolly understand the need to prove to you that he can manage to pay bills, and putting X amount for the bill plus X for car or college (which you could sweeten by a match if you feel the ability/need) is a pretty reasonable way to prove competance..

My mother wouldn't sign for me when I was a teen...I can't say as I blame her..but then again I can't say as I appriciated her lack of trust...I think a comprimes would be better than no forget it...he is 16, not 6.....

[LuxLiving]

let her sign!! What a pain in the behunkus!! ...then let her pay if he messes up.

But, I'm with you...if you don't feel he's responsible enough (the previous phone history tells you he isn't there YET) and feel his money better spent/saved elsewhere - I'd tell Granny to take a flying leap! And that she needs to explain to the child that SHE BEHAVED BADLY and didn't get an okay from you first! DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED!

Tell her NO MEANS NO!!

OMG, I'm so glad my mother-in-law and mother weren't this kind of Grandmother! Sheesh!! If the pressure from the kids isn't bad enough now you got a goofy-Gran on the loose!

My CashHappySon just turned 18 and just now got a pay-as-you-go cell...and even at 18 he isn't doing too great with it...has already had to refill it WAY TOO MANY times and then let some goomer at work use it to text his girlfriend which used even more minutes, so guess what all the minutes & all the budgeted money for the cell is now used up and it's only the 7th! Guess what? The phone will sit idle for the rest of the month.

TOO BAD!

At 16 I don't think a child is responsible enough to sign up for a two year contract and obviously so does the law FOR A REASON!! Yes, I know, some of us have very responsible teens and others of us were very responsible teens (don't send me any mail!) BUT on average there's a reason why minors aren't allowed to make contracts!

Sheesh GRANNY, pull your head out!

Hot Dog stand your ground and get the three of you together to explain to the child why Granny has overstepped herself!

My sympathies!

[Hot dog]

Thanks so much for all your encouragement and words of advice. Lux you seem to understand exactly what I was saying. Princess I get what you were saying about focus on changing my son and not his grandmom. Good points. Thanks a lot!

[rduell]

We just went through this with our 16 year old. He wanted to sign up with Verizon in our name and pay us each month. He has a job working at an auto mechanic's after school and makes good money, but we told him we won't do it. It's the same as co-signing and he never knows what's going to happen in the 2 years that he's committed to.

Instead he has a tracfone that he buys more time and minutes for. He's not totally happy, but we didn't want to take on the added responsibility.

[PRICEPLUS]

Grandma and your son don't make the decision here, YOU DO!!! If you don't want him to have a phone then that is it. Two year obligation on your part if he does not pay. I gave my daughter a phone that is on my family plan. It is to be used to call us, we are free in system, and emergency numbers period.

You might want to tell grandma you are the boss where your kids are concerned. You should also tell son that he should not be hitting up grandma,

[JanH]

Grandma should not be telling you how to raise your kid. Or doing things that you don't agree with. If you ask for advice, that's one thing. But not asking what you have decided for YOUR child is another. Sheesh, you might not have the money to help him out if he gets in trouble with it. Not only that, a cancellation of the service hurts like crazy. We had to do that once on a bad service. However, I do think that a phone of some kind is valuable with teenagers. Safer. But it should be on YOUR terms since it is your child.

[retnuo]

I can tell you I know just how you guys feel. I have a 12yo son, and my wife and I recently gave him a cell phone on our current verizon plan. It was a birthday present, and I felt that my son needed a taste of responsibility. Oh man, how I got kicked in the teeth for that!
The day after the birthday, i'm getting calls from my MIL and sister complaining how he's over there bragging about having a cell phone and they don't. Crimeny, I should have thought that one through a bit better beforehand. I can't tell you how many times he's tried to convince me to let him take it to school with him. No way am I going to do that...that's a recipe for disaster right there.
Now, we only let him use it at home for a certain amount of time a day, or have him take it with him when he goes out with friends, so we can keep in touch. Other than that, it rests comfortably on its charger on my desk.

[beebop25blue25]

I have a 15 year old and he has a cell phone. It's prepaid thru Cingular. A GoPhone! It's 10 cents a minute and he can call for free to any other cingular phone/customer. To me, it's wonderful for a teenager. I put a certain amount on his phone each month. It has taught him how to budget. Even though it's minutes, he knows he's got a set limit and if he goes over, he has no phone until the next month that I put minutes on it! He does really good!

We had a tracphone where it was .25cents a minute and we ended up spending WAY more than with cingular. Most of his friends have cingular so he can talk endlessly to them for free, and he's learned that saves him money. With tracphone, no matter who he talked to it charged him, so he ended up losing money!

[Hot dog]

He has cingular now. It sounds like a good deal but all his friends have verizon so he wants free to verizon. He goes to a private school which costs as much as some small colleges although a very good deal so most of his friends have cars ( Audii's even) and parent's pay for everything. I was brought up to pay for everything myself and hated to ask others to do anything for me.

[Hot dog]

just had to post this quote I just read "I figured out how to cure the high divorce rate in this country. Have cell phone companies write the marriage contracts-- you'll never get out of them."

[PrincessPerky]

Originally Posted by Hot dog

He has cingular now. It sounds like a good deal but all his friends have verizon so he wants free to verizon. He goes to a private school which costs as much as some small colleges although a very good deal so most of his friends have cars ( Audii's even) and parent's pay for everything. I was brought up to pay for everything myself and hated to ask others to do anything for me.

Yeah its funny how the lady who brought you up is now spoiling your kids ain't it!

My husband tells me all the time how different his mom is now!

[tabbycat31]

I would suggest a prepaid or a Go phone for a 16 year old. I work for a collection company that deals with mainly cellphones (60% of our accts are Sprint) and they are ruthless in temrs of sending defaulted contracts (and early termination fees) to collections.

I don't think a 16 year old should have a contract cellphone. They would require the phone to be in an adult's name,a nd if he does not pay the bill, then the collection companies will go after the adult.

[Hot dog]

Those are the things I was trying to explain to his grandmom who kept going around the question about being willing to sign until I figured out she told him she would sign but then expected me to be responsible financially if anything happened. This by the way is not my mom it is my ex's mom who has died by suicide and now she tries to spoil only my son kinda sad and not my daughter also her grandaughter. this is the first time she has ever mentioned what I should do with the SSI that I get for them.