Brother asking me to split the money for Christmas present

T_I_N_A20 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 02:23 PM

My brother called me a few minutes ago telling me that it's Christmas soon and it's time to buy my little sister a present. He mentioned my cousins are coming from Toronto which doesn't make any sense as to why he told me that it's time to buy my little sister a Christmas present. He asked me to split 50% of the gift so it will be from both of us. I didn't want to pay because I don't plan on giving anything for my sister this year and he was in the store when he saw the spongebob square pants game for 18.93$ not included tax. It's not expensive but I didn't plan on any purchases and I don't want to pay. I don't want to be cheap or anything but with my brother, he's more of an instant gratification type and I remembered a year or two ago that he asked me to split the cost of the 40$ flower plant for my money for mother's day... Well my mother let the plant died and it was a pure waste of my 20$. I don't trust my brother on his purchase anymore. Still, I feel so bad if I tell him I don't want to pay half of the present for my sister because I feel like a scrooge for not giving anything to her.

What would you guys do at my place? My brother is currently looking for the present and he might call me when he finds it. I want to give him an answer if I'm ready to pay half for it but I keep giving in with his constant nagging... Arrg.

shelbylovesmelby · #2 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 02:47 PM

That's a toughie... Maybe tell him you'd rather contribute to it IF it was something more practical or something she needed. Not something she'll be bored with in a week or two.

Truly $10 isn't bad but in a way how cheap is he for asking to go half & half on something that's only $20?? JMHO

GL

cschin4 · #3 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 03:07 PM

If you don't want to go in with him, then just say no. You really don't want to get into the habit of "splitting" for gifts anyway. I assume this is a child since he wants to get a game. But, surely he can spend $18 himself or buy her a cheaper gift. If this is a child, then you may want to rethink your "no gifts" rule. I would still consider buying a gift for a child even if it is just a small inexpensive gift. Kids really enjoy getting them.

Ima saver · #4 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 03:12 PM

Why don't you want to buy something for your little sister. I think that is what christmas is all about, kids!

T_I_N_A20 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 03:21 PM

Shelbylovesmelby : Yeah I will tell him that.

cschin4 : It's weird. He can spend up to 100$ for himself. He can spend a lot of money for his girlfriend but not with the family, it must split half half with me... I don't have anything to do with the gift or plan to give any to anybody. I don't like giving on Christmas because I don't want to teach my little sister who's nine years old now, that this holiday is all about presents.

Ima_saver : I used to give something for my sister a few years ago on Christmas. I stopped last year because I don't believe that Christmas is all about giving...Maybe I'll change my mind in the future. Yes, Christmas it's all about kids but we don't celebrate this event with my family, you won't see us exchanging gift. I might do something special with her on Christmas's Eve, maybe bake with her or something.

jodi · #6 (**permalink**) 11-16-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T_I_N_A20

I might do something special with her on Christmas's Eve, maybe bake with her or something.

I bet she will remember the time you spent baking together long after she's forgotten about a Sponge Bob game

fairy74 · #7 (**permalink**) 11-17-2006, 08:36 AM

I'd tell your brother that you have already planned another way to celebrate with your little sister, so he'll need to get the game on his own.

PRICEPLUS · #8 (**permalink**) 11-17-2006, 10:40 AM

I agree with fairy74. You have to be comfortable with your decisions and not let others sway you thru guilt.

k1w11 · #9 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 08:29 AM

I also agree.
First of all a game is fun but it nothing important or that you know they will keep for ever. An example is my dad got me an N64 a long time ago for a present and yes I played it often in the first 7-12 months but then I played less and in the end I gave it to my sister so now my dad buys me things that symbolize something or are usfull and can either last a very long time or for ever.
Second , is that yes if your brother is not willing to spend that much money on his sister then tell him to go get something sweet at Zellers or even the Dollar store. I got this belt for my sister from the dollar store 5 years and a half ago and she still uses it today and its really the thought that counts.
Third, yes he can spend quality time with his sister but she is a kid so for now I would suggest either getting her a gift or nothing because its also a fact that you are siblings and usually you don't expect gifts from your sibs so just tell him to either get her something cheap and useful or nothing at all.
PS he can simply give a hug and say I love you on X-Mas eve ^-^

Gruntina · #10 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 09:33 AM

I think it is great that you see Christmas is deeper than "giving presents".

I get the feeling when I read your post that you are carring a lot of responsibility on yourself. It seems like you feel responsible to teach your younger sister different values and carring your parent's burden.

I am sorry your brother is not on the same page with you and that is a challenge with facing him. You can continue to be an example for him even though you can not change who he is.

FrugalFish · #11 (**permalink**) 10-04-2007, 12:14 PM

My BIL is notorious for this. He wants all the siblings to chip in for some great gift he's come up with for the parents. Then he takes all the credit for picking it out, organizing the fund raising, and buying it. As a matter of fact he called this week and asked for $100 for FILs Christmas gift. DH was not pleased. We never spend anywhere near that much on anybody for Christmas.

I always tell BIL that I'm already done Christmas shopping for the year and don't need to get any further gifts. I've noticed he's started to call earlier and earlier in the year now, LOL. No matter when he calls, I'm already done with shopping...

As I've gotten older, I've learned that you don't have to justify yourself to anyone, not even family. It's okay to say, "No thanks, I've got other plans." Don't waste a lot of time trying to make him comfortable with the situation.