Share a place with relatives?

PRICEPLUS · #1 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 11:57 AM

How many would share a house with relatives in order to save money? Under what circumstances would you do it and why or why not?

tinapbeana · #2 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:10 PM

did it when i moved back to SC from ATL. my family had asked i move back to help w/ the shop, so came here & had no job for about 2 months. lived w/ the 'rents and got out as fast as i could! nothing against my parents, it's just weird having lived on my own and then going back to living with them.

Joan.of.the.Arch · #3 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:15 PM

Brother lived in our cellar two different times, about 6 months each. It was hard for us, probably him, too. He later wanted to pay for his stay, but I told him to just be there for us if we ever have similar need. You never know....

Ima saver · #4 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:15 PM

We just sold our large spec house. It is the parents and their grown adult, daughter, her husband and their young daughter. One family on one floor, and one family on the other floor. 3 bedrooms on main floor and 3 on the basement level. We had planned a large rec room with gas stove and refrigerator, so that will be their 2nd kitchen.

Fern · #5 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:32 PM

I did it at my sister's home when i was in my 20s and i wouldn't recommend it. Our relationship suffered, tho the rent was cheap. i was in the basement with a bath down there.

boefixepa · #6 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 01:04 PM

I've never done it, but many of my siblings have and I have seen it many times with friends. All want it to be 'temporary'! No one wants to, but it makes sense sometimes. I know that it brings all kinds of problems with it and I want to avoid that all costs.

JanH · #7 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 01:49 PM

I did it with my Inlaws for three months once. I even had my own floor except for kitchen. I think it drove us all nuts. But now, with my folks, it would be easy. At least for me. Hubby adores them, but I don't know if he could live with them full time. My folks are just so darn easy to get along with. We have a blast with them. Hubby's family is sweet, but they are so particular about things that I can't relax. And I'm not sure they could live with my changeable bipolar days, even though most of them are mild.

BCHGRL · #8 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 02:03 PM

Yes but money is not the only reason, love is :-). I lived with my aunt when I was in college. My parents gave her some money for bills, but she didn't really save any money. She did it because she loved me.

My brother-in-law lives with us. He is 23 and just starting his teaching career. He lived with us for one summer too while we was in college. We are charging him $100/month during the first semester so he can save up money, but starting in January, rent will go up to $500/mo (includes food & all utilities). We enjoy having him around, the extra money will help us, and it is a good deal for him too.

Ima saver · #9 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 02:24 PM

There is no way i could live with someone else. I even stay at motels when we go and visit someone.

fairy74 · #10 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 02:47 PM

My grandma always lived with us (maybe a cultural thing?) I don't think my mom liked it too much, but I loved it! I would definitely be up for having relatives live in my home, but I would not want to live in theirs. I like to set the rules

Snoopy2645 · #11 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 03:16 PM

not a chance I could do it in fact I would rather live a shelter LOL!!! No way could I live with my mom ever AGAIn I moved out at about 18 close to 19 & never went back!!! I have seen so many things happen with families doing this & friends doing it I could never ever & with 3 kids it would be impossible anyways!!!

I suppose one of my grandmas I could have lived with in fact wanted her to live with us when she was very sick she would have been the only one ever oh ya my dad used to stay with me to when he was drinking but those are the only 2 people I could stand & they are gone so thats not an option now ya know

kealina · #12 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 03:39 PM

we live with FIL and there are plenty of pros and cons... we are doing it to help us get a good financial start in life....due to the high cost of living here in hawaii it is actually considered the norm for kids to live with their parents while they are first getting started...

we know people in their 30's who live with their parents... we aren't going to stay that long... we actually intend to get out within the next year but in the meantime it's allowed us to save money and me to finish school without debt...

the only reason we managed to do this without major problems is because his dad is fairly passive, doesn't ignore boundaries, etc...also, our living here has been helping him out too as we know things will go downhill after we leave...

it hasn't been fun but i'd rather suck it up now and be comfortable later... i believe that it's easier for us this way than to spend now and be sorry later...

Pollyanna · #13 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 07:09 PM

Shortly after my mother passed away, my daughter and I moved back to the home place, where Pop lived in the old house. We (Pop and I) tore down the old house and built a new one - that was in 1994. I remarried in 1997, and my husband moved in with the three of us. Pop just passed away in September of this year. I wouldn't have wanted to live any other way. I would happily live with (take in) another relative (but I'd be picky as to which one!)

boefixepa · #14 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 09:17 AM

I think taking care of aging parents, sometimes very hard to do, is the expection that most anyone would make.

PRICEPLUS · #15 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 09:39 AM

With the way things are going we may soon see three generations under the same roof. Againg parents and children moving back in. Maybe the extended family is making a comeback!

boefixepa · #16 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 09:43 AM

I think the PricePlus is right, and much of it has to do with the cost of housing. It can be tough, espcially for young couples with children. Without carefule planning, plus all the 'life' stuff that just happens, housing becomes a major expense and issue.

LuxLiving · #17 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 09:51 AM

My father in law lived with us before he passed away and it was okay on my end, and he didn't seem to mind.

When we sold our old house and before the closing here we had a month of being 'homeless'. The Hubster went and stayed at his dad's which was close to his work and the boys and I visited the relatives around the state a week at a time. That way no one was greatly inconvenienced. It wasn't too awful for the short term - but I bought groceries, cooked and cleaned and made my kids behave so it was all right. The other is that we often had visited in the past for a weekend so no great big adjustment was needed as we are comfortable in their homes and they with having us there. Would I want to stay longer than a week? NO!

rduell · #18 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 10:41 AM

Done it. Wouldn't do it again if I had a choice!

sakigt · #19 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 12:53 PM

Moved out of Moms when I was 18, moved in with dad when I was 20...

But I bought my own place at 23 with the money I saved in rent

Elgin526 · #20 (**permalink**) 11-10-2006, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PRICEPLUS

How many would share a house with relatives in order to save money? Under what circumstances would you do it and why or why not?

I'd only live with family if my only other option was a homeless shelter. And I'd still have to think about it before I moved in with them. And I like my family!

Push came to shove, if some horible financial disaster happend, we could sell the house and find a $650 a month studio apartment to live in. Even if DH and I could only find minimum wage jobs, we'd be able to work enough to pay the rent. I own my car out right, so no car payment, and I know how to eat super cheap (it's not the best food health wise, but we wouldn't starve). It would be hell, but we could do it.