Share a place with relatives?

[Broken Arrow]

I admit it. I am shameless, and if given the chance, would gladly bunk with a fellow kin for the sake of saving money.

Ideally, I'd rather have a place of my own though.

[jodi]

Doing it and loving it. It started out in 2003 when we sold our house in a city to move back to the country - I was a few months pregnant. We moved home with my parents (great big farmhouse, we pretty much own the upstairs), supposedly temporarily while we looked for a place. Well, we never found the place. My parents swore up and down that they would tell us when it was time to move on, as we didn't want to intrude on their golden years. However, the few times we did go look at places, my dad would ask us "What's wrong? Why do you want to leave?". They love having the grandkids around everyday (my brother built a house next door and my newly-married other brother is looking to build down the street next year). The whole set-up is not extremely uncommon in this rural, farming community. It works out great for us - DH would never have been able to return to school last year if we had a house payment. He would have had to find another so-so job just to make ends meet. Instead, he will have his teaching degree next month and a much more secure future
My parents have never had a mortgage and we contribute to the utilities, phone, and satellite bills. We each buy groceries on a regular basis, although we don't keep track of who buys what. I would never want to be a burden to them and if I felt that we were, we would move. Period. But since they are still welcoming us here, and we really enjoy living here, here we will stay.
One more point - I will be inheriting this house (but not hopefully for a long, long time), so that does factor in a little. Although my father is in excellent health, he is 72 (my mom is only 58). I know neither of them would want to live alone, so I think that may be one of the reasons they want us to stay as well.

[titi]

Ilived with my parents for quite a long time but there was a moment when I was jobless and my mother was pressing me to start any job in order not to stay at home and also to earn some money (for the family budget, of course). I didn't want to start any job, I prefered to wait a little till I managed to find something decent. But my mother was really nasty and she terrorized me all the time, so actually it became impossible for me to stay home and not long after I managed to find a not-so-bad job I left. She took it very personally, became very insulted but actually I didn't give a damn about that. Now I am visiting once a week and things are certainly much better. She is still playing tricks and is attempting to have me back but I still don't care about her acting skills. Probably it is not fun for her to live alone but sometimes she can get so nasty, that I really wonder why my father had not kicked her.

[Broken Arrow]

Um, sounds like both you and your mother have some issues to work out, titi.

[PRICEPLUS]

We have MIL with us. It works out okay. We had a babysitter and she has had us looking after her when she was ill a few times. Living alone is not healthy. MAybe the best thing is to have extended family! The support network appears to be important in todays world!

[Ima saver]

I am unlucky that I don't have family, but in some ways, that makes me lucky. I don't think I could ever live with anyone else. I don't even like company to stay with me. We built a garage apt. so people could stay there, but they all want to stay in the upstairs bedroom.It is annoying because the upstairs bathroom is right over our bedroom, so you can hear the water running and the toilet flushing.[Automated by GetSmile]

[homein2007]

My sister (27 years old) has lived in my parents' basement since coming back from college. It has seemed to work well for all of them. She has a solid job with the town and helps with the bills, though I think now that my dad is retired the primary value she provides to the household is more emotional than monetary. So, contrary to a lot of the stories here, it can work.

[Broken Arrow]

Why, I'll be happy to stay in your garage apt., Imaaaa!

[PRICEPLUS]

It has got to be better than Tina's garden apartment!

[Broken Arrow]

Haha, I've seen abandoned crack houses that look better than Tina's garden shack.

[titi]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

Um, sounds like both you and your mother have some issues to work out, titi.

The issues have more or less been resolved when I moved out. A kind of conflict avoidance. Many of my friends, who had always had problems with their parents, were really shocked to hear that I also had problems at home. But since I have seen quite a lot of cases when separation is the cure, it was not very difficult to find the solution before things went too far.

[tinapbeana]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

Haha, I've seen abandoned crack houses that look better than Tina's garden shack.

now we all know why a friend nick-named it the "Crack Shack"! seriously, it got the moniker the week we bought the place....

[ren]

You know, I feel like I should contribute something meaningful to this thread, because I was a boomerang kid for a couple years, but all I can really come up with is, "It worked pretty well for Dad and me!"

[Thrifty Ray]

We have two acres and my parents are living in a small, park-model RV on our land. They are here for 2 reasons- 1. so I can help them when needed and 2. they couldnt afford to live anywhere else. They are piped into my satellite TV and electricity--which very willingly I pay for.

So, I guess my situation is reverse of the question. My parents live with us to save money. And I wouldnt have it any other way!

[LuckyRobin]

I would share a place with relatives, easily. I lived with my folks until I got married (right after I turned 25). DH and I lived on our own for a year and a half, then we moved back in with my parents. He had started the job up in Alaska so was gone for weeks at a time and I was having a hugely complicated pregnancy, that involved a lot of bedrest. My parents live two blocks from the hospital so it was a good place to be. We ended up living there for 2 years, paying off all our college debt (mostly financed on credit cards), and saving up to buy our house. There were a few problems, but mostly everything was fine. We paid $100 a month, which covered our share of heat and light. We paid for our own food and kept it in our fridge.

I'd move back in with my parents if they needed us, too, or be happy to have my mother come live with us. Dad's mental state is too far gone for me to be able to have him move in, though unless Mom came, too. He'd be too confused with where he was and would probably wander off.

I'd also live with one of my sisters but not the other one. Personality issues. I'd also live with several cousins.

[markio26]

no way!! not with my relatives.. they are all messed up a lil bit more than i am... hahaha!!!!

[PRICEPLUS]

I guess it all depends on financial necessities and personal preferences!

[cptacek]

Perhaps for a few months I would live with a married relative...sister, parents, etc. For longer than that, I would feel I am intruding on their family time.

I currently live with a cousin, (I guess she lives with me) and haven't had any trouble so far. knock-knock It is great to come home to somebody, to share dinner with, and watch TV with. And sharing the bills is great too.

My uncle lives with my parents. I don't begrudge him that, because he is mentally handicapped and was not taught to take care of himself. I do, however, begrudge my grandma, who is cashing his SS checks and paying my parents about 1/3 of it every other month, and the rest of my aunts and uncles, who completely forget about him because my parents do such a good job taking care of him. I guess that is why I said above I was worried about the impact I would have on the family time, because I see what stress it puts on a marriage to have someone living with you.

[MairGrif]

Share living space with relatives? We (fiance and I) anticipate having to do so in the future. Both his parents have major health problems, so if something happened to a stepparent, the parent in question would probably have to come live with either us or his sister and her DH. Both parents have their quirks, but neither are deliberately difficult, so while it'd be stressful, I'd grin and bear it and be happy we could help. When fiance was dealing with a potential job loss, both parents gladly offered residential assitance as they both live near companies in his field. How could we not return the favor?

As per my family, my aunt moved in with my grandparents when she left a bad marriage. She later moved out, then purchased their house (with them in it). The rest of the family said, good for her, I couldn't live with them. It's a blessing in so many ways - she got a good price on the house, they know it will stay in the family. Her son gets to grow up w/ his grandparents, and there is someone the help them as they are getting older, and to watch my cousin when needed. If needed, I'd gladly take in my grandmother. It would be difficult, but I would value the time with her. Grandpa, that'd be harder but I'd also do it in a heartbeat. Different family members would be varying degrees of difficulty, but I'd probably do it for anyone, unless there was a safety issue (active alcohol or drug abuse for instance). I grew up spending several nights a week at my grandparents house, and feel for all the difficulties, multigenerational homes are a good thing.

Marianne

[baking23]

I still live at home wiht parents for a few reasons.

1. I've never found a "real" full-time job using either degree, so far, so didn't see it as smart money-wise to move out.

2. Was in college until a few years ago so was always working or in school and didn't have time to move out.

Plus my family's pretty close and my little brother just moved out when he got married.