Encouraging others to spend

[lgslgs]

Certain kinds of posts appear regularly on a number of the money saving and personal finance boards I frequent.

Someone is considering making a purchase, but is weighing whether they really want to spend or not - so they post to the forum.

This is followed by a flurry of posts encouraging them to indulge a bit, to not be too severe with their budget, or to "invest" in the "higher quality" version of the product.

It's rare to see anyone suggest that they just save their money for a while and see if they even miss not having the item that's currently catching their interest.

Has anyone else noticed that even on sites where most people strive to be fugal, you can always find a lot of folks who are ready to help encourge somebody who's thinking about spending some "extra" money?

It makes me wonder whether a lot of those savers actually view saving as a hardship or deprivation. I really don't get it.

Lynda

[Marcymox]

this happens frequently on one particular board I go to . One lady said she felt like she "deserved" to go to the salon and get a manicure because she had done so well saving and paying off debt. Maybe... but I find it odd that the members of this debt no more board encouraged her to go out and do that- get a manicure ( which is NOT a nessesity) to feel better. Ah! retail therapy strikes again.

I wanted to tell her to soak her fingers in soap, and get a 10 cent emory board, 94 cent nail polish from wal-mart and give herself a home manicure. no one really "needs" a manicure. You might "need" a special kind of lotion for a skin condition, or special kind of expensive cream you must budget for ---- that sort of cosmetic need is understandable, but no one "needs" a manicure or a pedicure.

most of these people you speak of really don't have the foggiest notion the difference between a "need' and a "want"

a "need" is something you have to buy or obtain because it's impossible to improvise, do without or find a suitable substitute. take, clothing for instance. we all "need" to clothe ourselves- but we don't 'NEED to clothe ourselves form Nordstroms, - Target will do fine. or the thrift store.

so when these people post saying they just lost weight and "need' new clothes- yes, they do- but everyone encouraging them to go out and get new clothes should probably keep in mind, suggesting Ann Taylor or Macy's for new clothes isn't frugal- you may "want" high priced fancy schmancy clothes to make you feel good- but all you really "need" are some basic simple pieces to cover your bod in a modest way.

[PrincessPerky]

I think it is a community of 'reward' we as a society feel the need to reward ourselves when we do good...not sure how good or bad it is...but in general who wants to be the one to say 'no you don't deserve that treat'...................

I certainly don't, and I am the rudest person I know..the closest I would come is 'so long as it isn't my tax money............"

[Broken Arrow]

Well, the bottom line is that spending is generally more fun than saving. Therefore, the best thing to do is to balance saving and spending. As one budgets money for saving, they should also budget a little bit for spending and fun.

Of course, saving can also be fun, but... that's much less common as spending. Fortunately, I find that saving is fun enough for me, and I currently do not budget for any money for spending and fun. I am not against such practices. It's just not something that I am doing at this moment.

[lrjohnson]

Someone was asking me about a bigger purchase a little bit ago. She wasn't sure whjetehr she should treat herself to a pair of boots she loved or not. I asked her questions to help her clarify instead of offering an opinion first.

"Will you need to buy clothes to match or will they work with your current warddrobe?" "Do you tend to regret larger clothes purchases pretty often, or not?" "Will you be able to wear them at work and casually?" "Do you have any other brown boots?" A few questions like that. See, for me it would have been an instant no, because they were like $100 boots. But I know I'm not into clothes, and I know she really is, and I knew these were actually $200 boots for $100. So it made more sense to me to ask some questions that would help her decide whether to make the purchase. I think it's pretty individual-the person and the item.

[safari]

To me the goal of saving is to have enough money to be able to afford some luxuries and live comfortably. I don't like savings for savings sake and just accumulating money and not spending it. I know people who retired recently with millions of dollars in their 401(k), but they buy the cheapest things, eat at McDonalds (bring their own soda), never travelled abroad, etc. One of the local stores was giving a $5 gift card to the first 50 people, so they were at the door at 6:00 AM and stood in line for several hours just to get $10. I cannot understand it. What's the point of saving money all your life if you're not going to indulge yourself once in a while?

[JanH]

Originally Posted by safari

To me the goal of saving is to have enough money to be able to afford some luxuries and live comfortably. I don't like savings for savings sake and just accumulating money and not spending it. I know people who retired recently with millions of dollars in their 401(k), but they buy the cheapest things, eat at McDonalds (bring their own soda), never travelled abroad, etc. One of the local stores was giving a $5 gift card to the first 50 people, so they were at the door at 6:00 AM and stood in line for several hours just to get $10. I cannot understand it. What's the point of saving money all your life if you're not going to indulge yourself once in a while?

I agree. To me, it's like having nice dishes but never using them waiting for a good occasion. I'd like to think that an indulgence here or there is a good thing. Makes life fun.

[lrjohnson]

Originally Posted by JanH

I'd like to think that an indulgence here or there is a good thing. Makes life fun.

I agree. What I think some people fail to do is truly think out what indulgences will give them great satisfaction. Some people "treat" themselves all the time to the point where they take it for granted. I think people should think of what gives them great pleasure (fine wine, antique furniture, bath oils, gourmet foods, perfume, travel, electronics) and treat themselves accordingly. It's not the spending on a treat that sometimes bugs me, it's the lack of thought.

[Ima saver]

I agree with lrjohnson, it is the lack of thought! We rarely treat ourselves, but we do indulge in dinner out in the evenings. It is the romantic time together every evening that we treasure. (And if you think we are too old and have been married too long to be romantic, you are wrong) I enjoy sitting side by side, holding hands and quietly talking for a few hours every evening. That is all the treat I need! That is a lot of enjoyment for $20.

[boefixepa]

I have issues with the word 'deserve.' Someone 'deserves' a treat like my grandmother 'deserved' cancer? Reward is a much better description and so is 'want.' I want something as a reward...not I deserve to get -----. I'm one of those people that calls it as it is...not that it's a bad thing....just see and accept it for what it is there's nothing wrong with that! Just admit it....Ima likes fancy cars....I like my expensive dogs...see where I'm going with this. We all like what we like and that's where we spend our money. Just call it like it is....decided if you can except it and afford it...and if you can...budget for it and get some enjoyment from the ride of life. If you can right now, but it on the goal shelf and work towards it. BUT DON'T SHOOT yourself in the foot! If you can't afford the dogs, the cars, the pedicures, or whatever it is you like....admit IT TO YOURSELF and deal with the reality of the situation.

My two cents.

[lgslgs]

I guess one of the reasons the whole "encouraging others to spend" thing seems so strange to me is that there are just so few material things that I'd value more than the financial independance to get out of the work force 20 years early!

I honestly can't view ANY purchase without doing a mental calculation of how much time away from home it would take to earn the money to pay for it.

If part of what I was saving for was material things of various sorts, I guess things like really good boots, perfume, or another new book would be things that I'd spend some "mental shopping time" considering. I still actually do that a bit, but in the past year or so I've started giving myself 1 - 3 months to indulge in the mental shopping time part of it before I even start the real shopping part.

Very few items still hold their attraction for me after I cool my heels for 3 months, but so far the pleasure of being financially independant hasn't lost any of it's shine. And the more times I go through a 1 - 3 month mental shopping exercise, the faster I get to the point where I really don't feel any desire to buy a new something or other.

Lynda

[Ima saver]

Yes boe, you put it very well. And, lgslgs, I can see where you are coming from. I especailly felt tht way when I was younger. I too wanted to be financially independant and I kept striving for the bigger picture. I much perferred saving and investing over spending on things I did not really need. I still don't have a lot of things a lot of people think they need, like large screen tv's, dvd player, tivo. (And a lot more things that I don't even know what they are) I have a 20 year old tv, a $40 vcr and a cheap microwave with one button. I am happy with what I have!

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by lgslgs

Has anyone else noticed that even on sites where most people strive to be fugal, you can always find a lot of folks who are ready to help encourge somebody who's thinking about spending some "extra" money?

I often equate saving money with dieting. If you are trying to lose weight and eat healthy all the time and never allow yourself a treat or a favorite food that isn't part of the diet, you are far more likely to fail and give up. People want to do what's right, but they don't want to feel overly deprived. I think that makes perfect sense.

So getting back to finance, just because we are saving for the future, college, retirement, whatever, doesn't mean we can't ever spend anything. As long as I am meeting all my financial obiligations and goals, paying all my bills, not taking on debt and fully funding my investment accounts, I have no problem spending what's left on wants. For us, travel and dining out are things we happen to enjoy.

We currently save about 28% of our gross income, which puts us right on track to meet our financial goals. Sure, we'd get there faster if we saved 30% or 35%, but we wouldn't be happy living that way, so what's the point?

What does annoy/upset me is when people are posting about spending money that they really don't have or can't afford. I frequent a Disney travel planning forum and that happens all the time. A typical post will say "We owe 10K on our credit cards and have 2 auto loans and no savings but we HAVE to take the kids to Disney while they are still young. We're expecting a big tax refund this year so we're going to use it for a trip. Do you think that's a good idea?" Then people will come along and say "Sure, you only live once. The kids will never be this age again. Spend now and worry about the debt later." That I have a problem with.

[getforfree]

I agree that you should treat yourself once in a while if you did a really good job on something, but the treat should not be expencive. It can be something for $2 or $5, but no more than that. If you think you won't enjoy anything that costs only that much, get yourself a "treat" account and save $5 or so at the time, once you get enough, get the expencive treat you want, but only from that account's money.

[Bookie]

Some people get a vicarious pleasure from the indulgences of others.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by getforfree

I agree that you should treat yourself once in a while if you did a really good job on something, but the treat should not be expencive. It can be something for $2 or $5, but no more than that.

Just curious what type of "splurge" you indulge yourself with for $2. It costs that much in gas to drive to and from the store.

[kealina]

Originally Posted by lrjohnson

I agree. What I think some people fail to do is truly think out what indulgences will give them great satisfaction. Some people "treat" themselves all the time to the point where they take it for granted. I think people should think of what gives them great pleasure (fine wine, antique furniture, bath oils, gourmet foods, perfume, travel, electronics) and treat themselves accordingly. It's not the spending on a treat that sometimes bugs me, it's the lack of thought.

i definately agree... it bothers me too... and i know far too many people who do that... the same people who spend everyday on "treats" and then drool over something they want but "can't' afford" because they aren't willing to save their money for something they will truly enjoy... they say they want some of those great pleasures you mentioned (gourmet foods, travel, nice clothes, etc) but don't save for them...

in fact, i agree with almost all of you guys... i understand boe and disneysteve and pretty much everybody here... makes me glad to be here...

ps. as for me and encouraging others to spend i try to take it individually... for myself i occasionally buy a small treat while out if there is a good sale or i have a good coupon but generally (i do make exceptions) i can't bring myself to buy unnecessary things retail, knowing that i could use that same amount of money to get something at a garage sale that i can really enjoy and possibly love for years to come...

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by kealina

the same people who spend everyday on "treats" and then drool over something they want but "can't' afford" because they aren't willing to save their money for something they will truly enjoy...

That really drives me nuts. People who can't prioritize. When someone surrounds themselves with wants and splurges and then whines that they'd love to go on vacation but they just can't afford it. Well maybe if you didn't have a 60 inch plasma screen with surround sound and a leased SUV and a huge mortgage and smoke 2 packs a day, you could put some money aside for a nice trip somewhere.

[Ima saver]

Gosh disneysteve, you said just what I was thinking. I often mention how we built a house for a surgeon who had 7 leased cars the year we were building, 8 extra closets just for clothes, but when it came time to pay their final bill for a retaining wall, they were out of money and we had to pay it out of our pocket.
I enjoy treating my self sometimes, but I know that I can afford it.

[Gruntina]

I have friends that have no frugal nature constantly encouraging me that I should treat myself to this and that. In some cases, I think they do that so they don’t feel guilty for the treats they give themselves when they see other people are doing it. I think it’s sorta a condemnation feeling when a not so frugal person is with a frugal person that is happy.