Office Gifts and Collections

[cschin4]

Seems like everytime you turn around they are taking up a collection for this, that and the other thing at work. Usually, for the benefit of certain more popular employees whereas others are forgotten. So, how do you handle this? Do you contribute? If not, how do you decline without making yourself look like the office scrooge? The latest trend was taking up a colletion for someone's birthday. I mean, do grownups really need to buy each other birthday presents at work? I think it is idiotic. And, I don't even buy my husband a gift anymore, we just go out for dinner. So, I really don't want to buy them one either.

[shelbylovesmelby]

I have no idea on how to answer that! I'd love to hear the responses.

I'm a sahm, now. But my work always had people going out for lunch & I dreaded the "were ordering from such & such, do you want anything?" I always brought a lunch & they'd always ask. Yet these same ladies were the ones asking for advice on how long can you old off on paying your electric bill before they cut you off? So eating out is more important than keeping your bills current!?!?

I always told them I was broke or trying to pay something off & needed every dime so eventually they'd stop asking me. But I kinda felt like a stooge as when the boss bought everyone lunch I was as game as anyone else was.... Honestly a free meal no reason to pass up right?

[Staceyy]

If the amount is small and won't break the bank, I'd contribute. I always considered it part of the cost of doing business. Besides, it makes everyone feel favorably towards you, which is what you need in order to be a team player. But once, not too long ago, I was asked to contribute $100 towards someones retirement cruise. There I had to draw the line. I baked her a nice tin of petit fours instead.

[aurielle]

In our office, the birthday person is given a card that is signed by everyone and gets taken out to lunch by most of the office. Except for the department head, where everyone is expected to pony up some money for a nice gift. So about 95% of the time I decline the lunch and I give up the money for the dept. head. A collection is also taken up for a gift for weddings, births, and condolences. Its usually around 2-5 bucks so I don't grumble too much about that.

The thing I used to hate is the office potlucks. I have learned to start bringing stuff like spaghetti, potato salad or deviled eggs because I found myself spending upwards of 20 dollars for ingredients and then having to cook it.

I know that some co-workers think that I'm a tightwad but I don't care. I'm sending every extra dollar towards paying off my credit cards right now and I have told them that. Most of the other women who work there that are in my general job spec. class have husbands that own their own business and make good money or are in high-dollar paying jobs. My husband and I aren't as fortunate and I told them that too.

I refuse to spend very much on people I don't like that much anyways

[Ima saver]

I agree with cschin4, I don't think we need to buy birthday gifts for grown ups either. My husband and I don't buy gifts for each other either. we go out to dinner, which I enjoy more than a gift. I use to donate money towards gifts, but I always resented it!

[geojen]

Thats the whole thing--not everyone in my office would get a gift, only the more popular people. I worked in an office for Menards, and Mendards gives their employees gifts anywho. Yeah, they sucked but still. People were always hitting me up for this or that, but no one ever gave my office mate a gift, or me for that matter!

[Cheetahwoman7]

OOooohhhh, I don't know if I should get up on my soapbox about this one. Where I work, they ask for $20 a year for the birth/wedding/death stuff...unless, like this year, it's our boss, then they want an additional donation. They also go around with at least one additional donation about every month for something or another.

Here's my feelings on this. When I first started working there, I contributed. After five years of being there, I took a two year leave to take care of my very sick mother. I had to come back at the end of two years or lose my job. My mom held on until I told her I had to go back to work. She took a four month downward spiral and died over the Christmas holidays.

This same group who would give great gifts, flowers, sympathy cards for just about anything/anyone, didn't even give me a CARD!!!!! Five months after that at a staff meeting, one of the people on the "Sunshine" committee made a comment to me about paying the $20 for the year. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "Why would I do that when I didn't even get a card when my mom died. I'll use my $20 to buy me something to remember her by." They then proceeded (in front of the entire staff) to say they could give me a card NOW. Again, I looked at them and said, "That's a moot point, isn't it? Why don't you wait until the anniversary of her death and watch me break down?"

I was just so mad! I had other staff people who appoligized for this committee member, but that's not the point. The point is they buy extravagant gifts (like a weekend at a bed and breakfast) for some, and then give others nothing!

I'm keeping my $20, but will contribute to any activities they do or if I feel the collection is for a worthy cause. Otherwise, I'm sending out my own cards directly to people.

Sorry, just had to vent when this subject came up.

[LuxLiving]

The Hubster works in an office where they often take up collections for folks who are down sick w/o health insurance or have had their place burn down - again w/o insurance. Now I feel for these people, I really do, but come on -- the majority -- MOST of them could have afforded to buy the insurance coverage but opted out - now we're supposed to pony up??? The majority are the folks who 1)are from two income families, 2)are eating out lunches every day, 3)buying NEW cars (yes PLURAL) every year, 4)shopping on the credit cards at lunch time and griping about it and having the creditors calling during the day, etc., etc. Can they AFFORD the insurance? YES. They just don't bother to buy it. They PREFER to spend their money in other ways.

The Hubster passes on making a contribution. I concur. The fact that we are insured already makes it tight on us, if we gave to all those who didn't bother we'd have even less than we do now and it's all we can do to keep ourselves going!! With him being the single salary breadwinner and me a sahm who tries to earn a bit on the side, no lunches out, and no NEW cars. C'mon people, a little common sense would be helpful. Mz. Sunshine Committee needs a swift kick up side the backside!!

"He that plans ahead, gets ahead. He that fails to plan ahead, needs a head." ~stated by Rev. Garnett Cole during a sermon. I copied it down and carry it in my wallet. I'm not sure who originated the statement, but it sums up how we prefer to proceed. We PREFER to spend our money on the insurance. YMMV!

I generally bake either hot-rolls or a cake or make some kind of low-budget dessert for him to take to the office parties and I send baked treats throughout the year unexpectedly. We do NOT however give $$'s at the office.

[Ima saver]

Boy , it makes me glad that I am self employed. They use to hit us up for money to buy the owner of the restaurant a gift every christmas. Here was a woman with 4 paid for houses, and us working for $2.01 an hour. We were expected to contribute for an expensive gift for her!!

[safari]

At the place where I work, whenever they are collecting money for gifts, etc., there is always a big envelope being passed around, which contains a card and a little envelope with the money inside. Everyone usually signs the card, but it's up to each person whether they want to contribute any money toward the gift and how much. Once they signed the card, they cross their name out on the front of the big envelope and pass it to the next person. That way nobody knows who contributed and who did not. I think it's very fair. When they are collecting money for someone I have good relationships with, I usually contribute a couple bucks, but if it's someone I barely know (it's a big office), then I don't contribute anything.

[cschin4]

Well, buying birthday gifts is a new one on me. I have worked there for 6+ years and haven't received a card or anything. And, after the birth of my last child, I didn't get one gift or anything. I almost died in childbirth, had emergency surgery, was pumped full of blood and spent a week in ICU after my baby was born but no gifts! And, only one person from the office even came to the hospital to see me. (The hospital is right across the street from our workplace!). So, anyway, I really don't feel overly hospitable to some of them.

[PrincessPerky]

This is one reason I really like not working....No one hits me up for money, if I did work I would prolly contribute, I would call it 'networking' and DH does contribute and does call it 'networking'.

One way to keep the cost down, is to be in charge of buying/picking then you can try to get a good deal instead of putting your own 2 bucks in.

I like the annonomous envelope system too, sounds like an easier way to keep track of who did what, and still get the job done.

Whenever the non fairness gets annoying, I just always try to assume they will forget me, period...that way if anyone does remember DH it is a great big suprse, and if they don't I don't even notice since I wasn't looking.

[Fern]

Originally Posted by Staceyy

If the amount is small and won't break the bank, I'd contribute. I always considered it part of the cost of doing business. Besides, it makes everyone feel favorably towards you, which is what you need in order to be a team player. But once, not too long ago, I was asked to contribute $100 towards someones retirement cruise. There I had to draw the line. I baked her a nice tin of petit fours instead.

I agree with STacey, but i would draw the line at about $25 tops. I really hated being hit up everyt ime i turned around to contribute to someting like this.

[Fern]

You know what, on 2nd thought, forget what i just said. i REALLY dislike feeling 'pressured' to give when it's more office politics than anything else.

So i would politely decline.

[tabbycat31]

I just started at a new job. So far I put $1 into a collection piggy bank (a boss just became a new father) and signed a card. They're buying a BRU gift card with the $$ collected. I never met the guy, but $1 won't kill me either.

[mountainmist]

I figure this is simply the cost of having a job, and when you are really averse to contributing, maybe it's a sign to seek a new job where you feel more part of the team, and this doesn't create such feelings of repugnance and/or hostility.

For instance, I don't think I'd want to stay long at a place of work where only the Top Two Popular Employees get elaborate attention on their birthdays, etc.

I mean... if your co-workers are really that disgusting to you, I think you are in the wrong environment and should start actively jobhunting.

[mountainmist]

I figure this is simply the cost of having a job, and when you are really averse to contributing, maybe it's a sign to seek a new job where you feel more part of the team, and this doesn't create such feelings of repugnance and/or hostility.

For instance, I don't think I'd want to stay long at a place of work where only the Top Two Popular Employees get elaborate attention on their birthdays, etc.

I mean... if your co-workers are really that disgusting to you, I think you are in the wrong environment and should start actively jobhunting.