Who pays what in 2 income household?

[Jewelsmom]

I am always facinated how couples choose to pay or break up their monthly bills between them.

First off, we always pay ourselves first and have pre-tax 401K money withheld from our bi-weekly paycks so we don't even see the cash. Then we pay our bills.

For example, my DH and I have done various things over our 18 yrs together:

Plan "A" (which didn't work too well for us)
One checking account where HE paid all the bills (sometimes late) followed by a period of time where I paid all the bills. Although it was helpful to share the responsibility, we were both often writing checks out of the same account for incidentals and unexpected expenses which led to overdrawn accounts. Balancing the checkbook was a nightmare as we had to maintain two ledgers.

Plan "B"
Two checking accounts (our paychecks are directly deposited into each of our separate accounts), each with overdraft protection (just in case ).

He makes 3x what I make, so he agreed to Pay the big bills and those that had the potential to vary greatly from month to month.

DH Pays:
Two credit card accounts paid in full monthly (Verizon/groceries/gas/medical co-pays/perscriptions/car repairs, etc.);
Cell phones (put on the credit card so we get 1% cashback);
Mortgage;
Monthly college housing & bi-annual tuition, books, for my daughter (also paid on ccard so we get 1-5% cashback)

I Pay:
Cable/Hi-speed internet,
Land-line phone,
Church pledge,
Utilities (paid on budget plan so the cost is same ea. mo.),
Car insurance for 3 cars (paid monthly)
$260/mo for food/incidentals to my daughter at college,
$260/mo for kids' savings accounts (ING and Roth-IRAs).
$125/mo christmas savings fund
$100/mo Foreign travel expense savings for my college daughter
Plus any out-of-pocket incidentals, school fees, movie rentals, eating out, gifts, etc. (e.g., $15/wk - one special school lunch for ea. kid per wk)

In addition, the family's $184 medical insurance through my employer is withheld pre-taxed from my paycheck monthly.

* * * * * * * * * * * *
I have a written Monthly Budget (nothing fancy, just a table in WORD) listing my anticipted regular bills. I automatically pay my bills using my bank's on-line billpay (no cost, and they lick the stamp for free!). The bi-weekly deposits into savings are automatically transfered to my ING account on payday from my checking account (I set this up as an automatic savings plan on ING's web page).

I personally don't maintain a written checkbook ledger, but prefer my WORD budget (lists my written checks) and on-line banking ledger.

My DH still preferrs to pay his bills by writing checks the old fashioned way and licking the stamp. It gives him some comfort to see the bill in the mailbox I guess. He is a mathematician, so his checkbook is always balanced to the penny.

Aside from some (fluid) cash in the low-interest checking, any money left in our respective accounts after the bills are paid are moved into our separate ING high interest savings (we each got $25 to open the account, and I got $10 more for referring him).

I don't have a lot left over after I pay my bills. My DH does have money left over, and saves quite a bit toward home improvements, family vacations, and emergency funds.

It's understood that this extra $ is "ours," not his or mine. We just "manage" it seperately so we can keep track if it all.

Together we assess best ways to save and invest.

[cschin4]

All our money goes into one pot. All the bills are paid from this. We both buy and spend pretty much whatever we want. But, neither of us are big spenders and we would not make a major purchase without discussing it first.

[Jacklad]

We have joint everything - chequing, savings, credit cards, bills.

All our income is direct deposited into the chequing account. I pay everything from that account and move the required amounts to savings. Hubby uses credit or debit for everything, and I download our transactions every night to keep current. This works for us really well - back when we used cash, we'd often have money going astray. Like a lot of men, hubby uses a billfold - which means change normally goes into his pocket. Well, he'd sit down and lose change (in the car, in the sofa, at work, anywhere he sat down). Not a big deal when we were talking quarters, but in Canada now both $1 and $2 denominations are coins, so a lot was going astray. The kids were making out like bandits checking under cushions, though. Restricting ourselves to plastic means that there's no change to worry about, and I get a complete picture of where every penny has gone.

Both of us are quite frugal, so I don't have to worry about him going on a spending spree. Large purchases are always discussed.

We started our marriage this way, and it still works for us (he worked as a geologist so was away from home for six weeks at a time, then home for ten days - if we had waited for him to get home to take care of bills, we'd have been in big trouble!). We've never distinguished between "his" money and "my" money - it's our money, our budget and our retirement.

Jackie

[getforfree]

we put all our money together. I pay all the bills. I also have separate account to which I transfer money from paypal what I earn on ebay. I pay gas utility + 1CC from that account. But if the customer would send me payment in the mail, it goes to our main checking account.

[Broken Arrow]

Back in the day, the money was lumped together (except a small amount of spending money for her), and I paid all the bills.

Personally, I like to keep things consistent. That way, you're less likely to make mistakes.

I also think it's easier for one to handle it all, but if that's not possible, then I think the next best way is to split the bills, and have each manage their share separately.

[asmom]

After 5 years of "working together" in which I paid the bills and nagged and he spent as much as he wanted and told me to get off his back, I finally saw the light and understood what my Grandma told me when we got married: keep your money separate. So now, we have separate everything: checking, savings, retirement, credit cards. We pay our own bills and we split the household bills including the mortgage 60/40 with him paying the 60% since he makes more. The only thing we share evenly is our income tax refund which we usually use to pay for a family vacation or buy something around the house. It works well. I'm still saving so I can retire before I'm 60 and he's still spending like he can work 60 hours a week until he's 90.

[aurielle]

We have separate checking accounts, one joint savings account. Separate credit cards (except for the AE card that he is an authorized user on) We split the bills roughly in half. We each pay half the rent. I pay for groceries, health plan, and the combined water/garbage/sewer/electric bill. He pays for cell phone, land line, sattelite TV and natural gas. We each pay our own bills, car insurance, car maintenance/repair, buy our own clothes and whatnot. If unexpected expenses come up we help each other out. It works for us. It all comes out in the wash in the end.

[scrava]

wow! I'm always interested in what other couples do.
We have one big pot and some mini side pots. I pay all the bill out of the main pot.
We both have retirement. All purchases besides gas and groceries are discussed (we recently got out of a LOT of debt). This keeps us on track :-)

[Sivart5]

We also combine all of our money and use one checkbook.

[DivaJen]

For the past several years, DH has written every other check over to me. We have separate checking accounts. He pays for mortgage and property taxes, and DD's tuitions, and takes care of business expenses; I take care of everything else. I'm going back to work this fall but I think we'll still do about the same thing, although I'll be taking on paying for tuition and property taxes.

When we were both teachers and making roughly equal amounts, we pretty much split things up.

We both use the same credit card and charge most everything, making it easy to keep track of how much we've spent at a glance.

<-- DD wanted me to include those.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cschin4

All our money goes into one pot. All the bills are paid from this. We both buy and spend pretty much whatever we want. But, neither of us are big spenders and we would not make a major purchase without discussing it first.

I could have written this post. We are the same way. Money is money. There is no such thing as my money and her money. We're in this together. We combined our accounts when we got engaged 17 years ago. I handle the finances - checkbook, bills, investments. She gets whatever she needs. Not a set allowance. But full use of the CCs, access to the checkbook and cash when needed.

[Kris10Leigh]

Our money is OUR money. But our income numbers work out nicely to have "his" and "her" accounts. "Hers" goes into one account and pays all the bills. "His" goes into another account to pay for living expenses. We use words like "my account" and "your account", but they're really just words. Some of "his" money used to pay the overflow, but now, as my pay has increased, we've moved all the bills to my account just for simplicity. It doesn't at all feel like his/hers accounts.

We work together really well as a financial team. Sometimes I am really frugal and he needs a little prodding. Sometimes it is the other way around.

[Snoopy2645]

wE HAve one pot that it all goes into & I pay the bills & if he needs or wants ANYTHING I better have the money for it!!! Its getting old really fast because he likes to spend like thiers no tommorrow & I dont!!! I keep telling him to take over the bill paying & he refuses when we both worked ft we made the exact same down to the penney & I think I paid more for the housing stuff now that I am going back to ft I hope he realizes it wont be that way EVER again!!! Cause now we have 3 kids to feed we need all we can get!!!

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by asmom

After 5 years of "working together" in which I paid the bills and nagged and he spent as much as he wanted and told me to get off his back, I finally saw the light and understood what my Grandma told me when we got married: keep your money separate. So now, we have separate everything: checking, savings, retirement, credit cards. We pay our own bills and we split the household bills including the mortgage 60/40 with him paying the 60% since he makes more. The only thing we share evenly is our income tax refund which we usually use to pay for a family vacation or buy something around the house. It works well. I'm still saving so I can retire before I'm 60 and he's still spending like he can work 60 hours a week until he's 90.

Your response got me thinking.

Originally, I said that I thought it was easier for one person to manage all the bills. From the pragmatic point-of-view of just paying the bills, it still is.

However, I now think that that was also part of our downfall. I think, after several years, she lost perspective on how tight our money was, and how much it took me to keep everything balanced without having any of our basic services cut off (like gas, electricity, and even the internet). I guess, for her, it was just always there.

Right before she left, I even remember her telling me that money doesn't matter at all. She just... didn't share the same urgency that I had.

At least, that's from my perspective anyway.

So, I'm beginning to see the merit of a couple working together financially, including having to share the bill paying.

Having said that, I also acknowledge that I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all solution here either. I think the real answer is whatever works best for each couples.

[tgavin71]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I could have written this post. We are the same way. Money is money. There is no such thing as my money and her money. We're in this together. We combined our accounts when we got engaged 17 years ago. I handle the finances - checkbook, bills, investments. She gets whatever she needs. Not a set allowance. But full use of the CCs, access to the checkbook and cash when needed.

Same here. We have one cheque account, one credit card (both have a card each), one home loan and one managed fund. Before I left paid work we saved all my income and lived of his. Now I handle all the money. We have the same financial goals and he gets a very generous allowance. Works for us.

[dshep]

My Fiancee and I just made up a budget, and have one joint cking acct, which we pay all of the bills with the exception of grocerys. Grocerys I decided need to be paid in cash..or we go way over. I have my pay direct deposited into my cking and then transfer my amount each payday over to the joint acct. He deposits his money every Friday... What happens to the rest of the money that is left over from each of our paycks is up to us. Mine tends to get spent on my teenage daughter and my son in college. His.. who knows...

[Ima saver]

We have always had the "goes in one pot" method. I pay all the bills using the envelope system. We both get an allowance, all of his is spent on gasoline. I pay for everything else out of my allowance. We discuss big purchases and we trust each other. Never had a money problem between us. I would be very upset if my husband blew money! That is one of the reasons I left my first marriage!!

[lillyb]

It's never been a mine or his income in our household. Alway been our money in one pot. Even now with one income, it goes into the same pot and is our money.

[JoyJoy]

As of June 1, 2006 we are paying our bills separate since hubby retired. Believe me this is interesting as I thought I had divided the bills equally! Turns out hubby has $200.00 extra a month. We had estimated Fed and State taxes from his retirement check but US Government employees don't have to pay State taxes out of their check. O-k-a-y!!!

Hubby pays mortgage payment, gas bill, water, Verizon landline and cell, his Everquest game dues, savings for two accounts, Amex (his) and rest is his spending money.

I pay tithe on my income, car insurance, savings for two extra accounts, my ccs, food, electricity, cable, co-pay on meds, and the rest is my spending money.

Property taxes and house insurances are paid through 0% balance transfer checks/out of our savings. Accounts are joint here so we both pay 1/2.

Life and health insurances are deducted from his check. Government pays part also.

I probably missed something but the above are the essentials.

Great topic!

[melissalt]

We also share one checking account that is used for all of our bills. We each get a small cash allowance every week that we can do whatever we want with, and we each have one credit card (separate accounts) that we only use occasionally and carry no balances on. Pretty basic and boring I guess, but it works for us so far.