Too many nieces and nephews!

geojen · #1 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 04:54 PM

I hope this doesn't sound horrible, but...

We now have 6 nieces and nephews, all under the age of 6. When Christmas rolls around, my sister in laws are going to be expecting that we buy a gift for each one of them. Well, excuse me, but we live on a tight budget, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on presents that these kids are never going to remember anyways! Besides that, they will get tons of presents from their parents and grandparents. Is it really horrible to suggest to them that we can't afford buying every one of their kids a gift?

LuxLiving · #2 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 04:59 PM

Have had the same problem - I'd suggest 5.00 gift books from McDonalds 6x5=30.00, can you swing something like that?

geojen · #3 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 05:02 PM

I could, and that is a pretty neat idea. I have been racking my brain trying to come up with cheap gifts that the kids would enjoy, rather than play with for 2 minutes and then forget about. Great idea, thanks!

Kris10Leigh · #4 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 05:17 PM

Personally, I would buy books for each of them and make sure to write a little message inside. These were and still are my favorite gifts from Aunts and Uncles. I certainly remember them, and now I remember them every time I read them to my own children. They don't have to be expensive books...I think even a used book store would work.

Jacklad · #5 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geojen

I hope this doesn't sound horrible, but...

We now have 6 nieces and nephews, all under the age of 6. When Christmas rolls around, my sister in laws are going to be expecting that we buy a gift for each one of them. Well, excuse me, but we live on a tight budget, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on presents that these kids are never going to remember anyways! Besides that, they will get tons of presents from their parents and grandparents. Is it really horrible to suggest to them that we can't afford buying every one of their kids a gift?

Buy something they can share - a board game, or an ice cream ball (these are fun - http://www.stuffkidslike.com/cgi-bin/item/112107), or go to your dollar store and make up "treasure boxes". My nieces got more enjoyment from a $1 decorative box filled with elastics, barettes, stickers, "jewelry", etc. than from a big gift - and it only cost me a few dollars for the contents.(Just make sure not to put anything into the box that might be a choking hazard.)

My eldest niece (who is over right now) has just told me that she still has her treasure box and keeps her real jewlery in it now. Who would have thought that it would have lasted a decade?

Jackie

tgavin71 · #6 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geojen

I hope this doesn't sound horrible, but...

We now have 6 nieces and nephews, all under the age of 6. When Christmas rolls around, my sister in laws are going to be expecting that we buy a gift for each one of them. Well, excuse me, but we live on a tight budget, and I don't want to spend a ton of money on presents that these kids are never going to remember anyways! Besides that, they will get tons of presents from their parents and grandparents. Is it really horrible to suggest to them that we can't afford buying every one of their kids a gift?

Sorry but it not only sounds horrible it is. Do u buy gifts for the adults in the family? If so then why should the kids miss out? My inlaws never buy my kids birthday presents. Claim that they have no money yet they both smoke, drink and gamble. Makes me angry. Most kids are happy with a book or trip to maccas or whereever. Its niot the cost of the gift it is the thought. If u don'y give your neices and nephews anything it shows that yoy didn't thonk of them.Which just isn't true. Christmas is 4 months aways. Plenty of time to save $30.

geojen · #7 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tgavin71

Sorry but it not only sounds horrible it is. Do u buy gifts for the adults in the family? If so then why should the kids miss out? My inlaws never buy my kids birthday presents. Claim that they have no money yet they both smoke, drink and gamble. Makes me angry. Most kids are happy with a book or trip to maccas or whereever. Its niot the cost of the gift it is the thought. If u don'y give your neices and nephews anything it shows that yoy didn't thonk of them.Which just isn't true. Christmas is 4 months aways. Plenty of time to save $30.

As a matter of fact, the sisters in law decided that we will not echange present this year, because no one can afford it. I have no problem getting the kids birthday presents or acknowledging the season. I just needed ideas for cheaper gifts. No need to go all judgemental.

greedy4chips · #8 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 08:55 PM

The best gift I ever got as a kid cost my dad nothing to make...ok a little bit but not much.

He bought a couple boards and cut them into lincoln logs. Some rit dye and a few hrs on a table saw and we had enough lincoln logs to build a small town!

That gift lasted for almost 15 yrs last I heard. When we were too old to play with them, my nephew got them. I am not sure what happened to them after that.

I made my kids a set 2 years ago. They love them. I hate them. Why did I have to make so many?

Best of all, no batteries. If they break, oh well.

frugalfarmwife · #9 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 09:05 PM

Well I guess I'm the mizer then, we don't do gifts for the nieces and nephews, between their parents and grandma they get so much stuff they have rooms full of toys. We give the entire family home grown beef for Christmas every year.

kj

kealina · #10 (**permalink**) 08-22-2006, 10:17 PM

i like the treasure box idea a lot...especially with the hair stuff.... i was always losing rubber bands as a kid (still do) and always need more... you can fill them with whatever you want... one year when i was doing frugal christmas gifts for my guy friends at school i bought cheap felt stockings and filled them with their fav candies...
my DH would like the book idea... his aunt was a teacher and was always buying him books (which he still has 15 years later) when he was a kid... now that she's gone they're something that brings back her memory...

getforfree · #11 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 12:19 AM

I don't have any nieces and nefews yet, buy I will have 2 newborns in January. I think it depends a lot on the age of the kids. I would ask the parents first, what the kids might need for christmass. They might rather get clothes and other nesscities than toys.

If you want to give toys, be sure not to give anything like playdough that might make mess, or any toy that makes loud noise and might be annoying to the parents.

shengmei · #12 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 01:15 AM

Christmas is not going to be around for several months. If you start looking right now surely you'll find something 90% off for everyone. You can then peel away the clearance stickers and leave the original price stickers and pretend you paid retail, which is 10X the price paid.

I am guility of doing that all the time.

P.S. They don't even have to be kids stuff. Most kids I know love to have stuff adults use.

geojen · #13 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frugalfarmwife

Well I guess I'm the mizer then, we don't do gifts for the nieces and nephews, between their parents and grandma they get so much stuff they have rooms full of toys. We give the entire family home grown beef for Christmas every year.

kj

That's kinda how I feel. Most of them are under 3 and will never even remember what we got them in the first place. But, the ideas here are great, and I can definitly swing 30 dollars. See, the other parents will each spend 25 each. Sometimes I feel like they are more concerned about how much the gift cost, rather than what the gift is.

poundwise · #14 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 05:37 AM

I think the only horrible thing here is the idea that a person should feel obligated to buy Christmas presents for every member of the family. Gifts should be given from a joyful heart of wanting to give to someone else, not from obligation because they are on a list or someone else in the family would expect it.

Having said that, we buy for our nieces and nephews. We have no remorse or qualms about giving lower priced gifts. (Also, if we want to give someone an expensive item and we can afford it, then we gladly do so.) We don't do what we do because of frugality, we do it because gift giving, in particular Christmas, has become Gift-mas and is a time for wastefulness and excess, which we don't want to be a part of. What we do is reasonable. The thousands of dollars people put on credit cards to 'give everyone a nice Christmas' is not only foolish but it is completely misguided. I think people need to remember what the purpose of gift giving is and the thought does matter more than the cost.

I don't give things as a matter of obligation. Nor do I give things I don't honestly believe the person will enjoy and/or may need.

34saving · #15 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 05:45 AM

You also might be able to catch the tale end of the school sales. I have my three-year gifts all ready. 15 cent crayons, 88 cent washable markers, 88 cent colored pencils, 10 cent notebooks. A new box of crayons can still be a big deal when you're three

Here's the evolutionary process my family has gone through. (We have some money, but face the "kids get too much stuff" problem.) I was expected to get all of the nieces/nephews Christmas presents until eventually (with 8) "family gifts" became the norm. Then, as soon as I had a baby we switched to "every kid draws a name and every adult draws a name". Might it evolve more this Thanksgiving? Maybe, but that's where it stands now . . .

boefixepa · #16 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 08:29 AM

Okay, I didn't read all the comments, but had to jump in quick, because I too feel the same way!!! I have 8 neices and nephew and yeah in the beginning when there were one or two it wasn't a big deal...but now it is!! I think back and I can't remember one birthday or christmas gift from an aunt or uncle other than a family gift or a christmas tree ordinmate. My siblings may call me selfish and mean, and it's not that I don't love them I do really I do, but if I have to show my love my shelling out all kinds of money then that's not love! I got really feed up with it all a few years a go and said FORGET IT! I send each family a gift card to Wal-mart and mom and dad can do whatever they want with it. I've stuck with this method the last few years and it seems to work...this is the whole of my Christmas budget for the most part

Older sister 1 married with three childred - 5 X 20 = 100.00
Brother 1- married two kids one on the way 4 X 20 = 80.00
Exwife of brother 1 w/ two kids from my brother = $50.00
Brother 2 - single - $40.00
Brother 3 - Just divoriced with 1 kid - 3 x 20 = 60 , but I will have to split that this year....grr

That totals $330.00!!!! That's ALOT of money...

So for those who mentioned it was mean...sorry it's not!! I know Christmas is about giving and receiving and all that, but what on earth are all my siblings thinking!!! They don't spent $10 on my throughtout the entire year!! Yet they want me to just be a cash machine for their children!! I don't think so! I do my best to make sure they get a little something and I do extra if I am actually spening Christamas with them, but I get really REALLY mad when my siblings expect me to shell out all this money! It's not fair and it's not right. I'd much rather spend time with them, but since we are so far away from each other that really isn't a possibility. So sorry if I offend, but Christamas isn't about what you get...if they can't get a gift for $20 and put it under the three for me...that's their problem not mine. If they use the money to buy groceries, fine...that's better than going without. I will no longer feel guilty or be made to fell guilty that the bank is closed!!!

mariec99 · #17 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Personally, I would buy books for each of them and make sure to write a little message inside.

When I was six years old my Mom bought me a copy of The Giving Tree and wrote a lovely messgae about how she hoped I would share her love of reading. I still have this and treasure it so much -- if there was ever a fire it would be the first thing I grabbed to save.

The other things I treasure are things that my relatives made for me -- Great Grampo made a tiny doll size table and chairs from scraps of lumber and oil cloth, tiny chairs he had crafted out of tin cans, etc. (I still have these!) For my own niece, I made a doll couch, bed and dresser from materials I bought from the scrap bins at Hobby Lobby/Michaels -- she loves them and has asked me to make another bed for a new doll. It costs me so little and I really enjoy making these kinds of things -- I truly put love into them. **P.S. Use the 40% off coupons that Hobby Lobby and Michaels sometimes print in the Sunday papers to buy the more expensive materials you need.

The other idea I have for you is to give board games (Monopoly, Life, Candyland, etc.) that have an age range that covers all (or most) of the kids in that household. Then you can buy one gift and more than one kid can enjoy it. Or any other toy that can be shared easily -like those cardboard "bricks" you can buy in sets at toy stores. Have them upwrap it at the same time to emphasize that they are to share it.

P.S. And forget about presents for the adults! Or have all of the adults draw names -- that way you are only expected to buy one gift. Make sure you all decide on a dollar limit. This is how my family does it. And actually having a lower $ limit can make the present buying a fun/creative challenge!

Ima saver · #18 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 08:52 AM

I honestly like the McDonald's booklet the best. Kids love going to McDonalds, especially in that age group!

Fern · #19 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 09:10 AM

I know someone with 4 siblings all with kids and at Xmas they draw names and each adult is assigned one child to buy for. That's it. No breaking of the bank.

geojen · #20 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 09:36 AM

I really wish the family would decide to draw names for the kids. It would make it so much easier on all of us. The adults do something fun: we exchange homemade ornaments. Now, some of the men don't find this that much fun, but they do it anyway. And, it is so fun seeing what everyone made and looking at them through the years.