Too many nieces and nephews! - Page 2

creditcardfree · #21 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 10:19 AM

I have the same problem...lots of neices and nephews.

We usually just send a card for birthday, so they know we were thinking of them. Some years I have included stickers, even just a sheet not even a whole package.

At Christmas...I shop Walmart. Last year, I bought gifts that averaged about $6 each. The girls got makeup sets, older boys received addidas cologne, younger boy was given a fake shaving kit and things to use in the bathtub.

I've also given boxes of books, coloring book, crayons, markers, paints, bath items, character toothbrush and paste...things that get used up. I have kids myself, so I try to buy things that can be used up. Kids really do get too many gifts at times...its hard to manage it all.

I personally don't expect our girls aunts and uncles to get gifts for Christmas. As it turns out some do, and others don't. My kids don't even seem to notice!!

rickatheslicka · #22 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 10:40 AM

I have so many cousins, I have lost count. So I buy things that can be broken into several pieces, like a $10 bath/spa kit gets broken into shower gel and a poof for one girl, lotion and a candle for another girl, bath salt and the pretty bag for another girl - $3 each! (I know your nieces and nephews are a little young for this still...)

For little ones, dollar stores and the "party favor" aisle at Target, Wal-mart, etc can provide great finds (package of 6 noise makers for $1 - would make a perfect gift for their demanding parents, don't you think?! LOL).

The sample aisle is also great, our stores are carrying the most adorable little packets of nail files, lip gloss, nail polish - all for $1 or less.

We once found jigsaw puzzles for various ages, boys/girls for $1 each! We bought 30, wrapped them, put a small G or B on them, and had plenty to go around for all the cousins (no worries about forgetting poor Suzy). The kids were touched that we had gotten them all something, who cares what the parents thought? I think Christmas is for the kids in many ways, and kids are generally easy to please.

I think there are plenty of good deals to be had out there, so do your best to include the kids. When they're older, shoot for them to say not so much, "Wow, I loved such and such that I got from Uncle Bob" - but instead for them to say, "I always enjoyed Christmas with my extended family, Uncle Bob always managed to get all the cousins something, even if it was homemade or not very expensive, we appreciated it."

PrincessPerky · #23 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 10:41 AM

Time is often the best and most remembered gift.. I like to give our nieces and nephews gifts that are time, or require (and recieve) our time...like a rocket we gave one for his brithday..including the trip to go shoot it.

Sometimes we aim for a game to play with them, or a craft to build with them...anything that involves time with them.

debtfreeme · #24 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 04:04 PM

didn't take the time to read through this yet but how about a family gift? Something like tickets to the zoo or some fun outing?

greedy4chips · #25 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 04:56 PM

I have a brother and sister along with 5 stepsisters and 1 stepbrother. Between us all there are 20 nieces and nephews minus your own kids plus great nieces and nephews are starting to come along.

Our family decided several yrs ago that adults would toss their name into a hat and draw 1 to buy a gift for. We did the same for kids. That lasted until last year when after many people getting shorted by someone who could not come up with the $25 gift (adults) or $15 (kids). We now give white elephant gifts for the adults and kids still exchange names.

Any kid who's gift does not show up will receive a gift that was intended for one of the jippers kids if appropriate boy/girl. It is so sad to see a kid crying because they were jipped by so and so.

I have a sorta crummy step family with 3 of them in jail over the years and can't keep a job to save their life. Another who would spend her rent check on booze and cigs, then ask her mom for rent money. It drove my dad nuts that a 30 something adult couldn't pay their own rent! To this day that money has never been seen!

dshep · #26 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 05:11 PM

I would do a family gift... a couple of cheap dvds (kids cartoons or something) from Walmart or the dollar store and a box of microwave popcorn or a tin of the flavored popcorn. (that gift even gives the parents ten minutes of peace and quiet

) Or a Big art kit with all the bells and whistles ( I got one at Walmart for about 9 dollars) and a ream of paper. Or make up a Ice cream Sundae basket and include a grocery card or coupon for the icecream. Its so much easier to do a family gift, then try and spend the same amount on each child.

Sivart5 · #27 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 05:14 PM

I have three children and eight nieces & nephews. A few years back we decided the kids would exchange names. Now we only have to buy three gifts instead of eight. They still get a ton of presents from grandmas and grandpas anyway.

geojen · #28 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sivart5

I have three children and eight nieces & nephews. A few years back we decided the kids would exchange names. Now we only have to buy three gifts instead of eight. They still get a ton of presents from grandmas and grandpas anyway.

See, why can't my SILs understand this concept? It is so reasonable, and so much more doable for all of us. They are still going to get terribly spoiled from their grandparents. Why do they need 100 present. Wouldn't 90 be enough?

Snoopy2645 · #29 (**permalink**) 08-23-2006, 08:21 PM

Well in my family I have a sister with 1 child & a brother with one child & brothers gf with 2 little boys. I give my niece & nephew $15 gc they are 15 & 17 so they are at the age for it & my 2 I guess you might say stepnephews I actually gave some stuff I got free to them nice new stuff for little kids & I made them each a pillow & I bought a gift for one cheap gift though I didnt want the little boys left out my niece & nephew are grown but these boys are 6& 8 so I love to give them stuff. But now I have 3 girls so my brother & sis dont give us much but thats ok I now I am more frugal than them I can give tons of nice stuff I got free from deals & these people are too busy working to do that kinda shopping.

But now brother & sis are very well to do & we are not so anyways that is how that is!!

justbee · #30 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 07:52 AM

greedy4chips, what is a "white elephant gift"? I have never heard that term before.

I think gift giving to nieces and nephews kind of depends on the family situation. In my case these kids don't have a lot of other family that they receive gifts from. Their only set of grandparents are on SS and usually aren't able to give much so they only get gifts from their parents and us.

mariec99 · #31 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 08:18 AM

Quote:

how about a family gift? Something like tickets to the zoo or some fun outing?

Great idea! I once pitched in with another sister to buy another sister, her husband and my niece an annual membership to the Denver Children's Museum. They loved it and were able to enjoy it for an entire year. Since I split the cost with another sister, it was easier to afford for both of us. The membership also came with a couple of guest passes, which they used for my niece's friends to have a special play date at the museum.

Ima saver · #32 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 08:38 AM

I like the big tins of popcorn idea too. I think food makes a great gift!

greedy4chips · #33 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justbee

greedy4chips, what is a "white elephant gift"? I have never heard that term before.

It is a junk type gift. What we do is pick something around your house you do not need or want (like a broken keyboard) and wrap it up. Then we choose numbers from 1 to whatever and you pick in that order from the big pile of white elephant gifts. It's actually hilarious to see the looks on people's faces when they open that horrid centerpiece that you thought looked great in 1972.

It costs nothing since most wrap them in newspaper and you get rid of clutter around the house. No one keeps the gift they are given either, most hit the trash within minutes of receiving.

Who wants a white elephant for a gift anyhow.

cicy33 · #34 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 10:25 AM

We have 5 neices, 2 nephews plus several cousins. I try to do the inexpensive gifts at walmart. But I have also found the mine do not mind ebay items. They are just happy to be remembered. My dh aunt did the mcdonald $5 thing last year and mine loved it! They thought that was the coolest thing to spend their own money at mcdonalds. my oldes dh took the kids to the zoo here a while back for one of the kids bday and the only cost to her was fuel and parking. The zoo is free here. unless you do a special exhibit. We sent food and drinks in a cooler on wheels that you are allowed to take in. So she probably spent $20 or $30 total. The kids had such a good time! One way to take the sting out of xmas is to buy them slowly all year. We do spend a fair amount at xmas but we don't spend all year. The kids pretty much only get stuff on their bday and xmas. They earn $2 a week to help out and they can spend it how they want but that is it. So we try to make the holiday special.

mom-from-missouri · #35 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 10:38 AM

I give mine a small gift (usually hand made) and a note that I will share a day with them. Last year my neice got an apron I made for her and a black photo album to put recpies in. Her folks and I picked a weekend for her to come spend with me-She brought her apron and we cooked and baked all weekend long. She also copied down some recepies for her book. Another one I gave a $1 bucket too, some flower seeds, gloves, and a hand shovel. (all under $6 picked up thru out the year when on sale). That spring, I came to her place a couple of times and we made her very own small garden. I also got invited back this summer to eat some of her peppers she grew.
They get a small gift, but a LOT of free memories.
Now that I have moved an hour away, I am thinking of things we can do for weekend projects here at the farm. I am trying to think of some ideas.
I have one neice (10) who is wanting to learn to sew. I may give her some fabric and she can come up over Christmas break and we can turn it into something. I am still looking for ideas for the others.

cicy33 · #36 (**permalink**) 08-24-2006, 01:41 PM

now those are some really good ideas. not just because of cost but also because of the interaction with the kids. I think that people get focused on the cost or keeping it low and forget that most kids really just want some of our time.

PrincessPerky · #37 (**permalink**) 08-25-2006, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mom-from-missouri

I give mine a small gift (usually hand made) and a note that I will share a day with them. Last year my neice got an apron I made for her and a black photo album to put recpies in. Her folks and I picked a weekend for her to come spend with me-She brought her apron and we cooked and baked all weekend long. She also copied down some recepies for her book. Another one I gave a $1 bucket too, some flower seeds, gloves, and a hand shovel. (all under $6 picked up thru out the year when on sale). That spring, I came to her place a couple of times and we made her very own small garden. I also got invited back this summer to eat some of her peppers she grew.
They get a small gift, but a LOT of free memories.
Now that I have moved an hour away, I am thinking of things we can do for weekend projects here at the farm. I am trying to think of some ideas.
I have one neice (10) who is wanting to learn to sew. I may give her some fabric and she can come up over Christmas break and we can turn it into something. I am still looking for ideas for the others.

Those are awesome! why can't you be my kids aunt!

DivaJen · #38 (**permalink**) 08-25-2006, 09:19 AM

I do think it would be horrible to say you can't afford to buy gifts when it sounds like what's actually bothering you is the expectation that you have to buy gifts. You could get any number of nice but inexpensive gifts for young children - books at $5-$6 a piece, as well as what others here have suggested.

Do what makes you feel good for the children come holiday time, and let the other adults deal with it as they see fit. If they judge your gift-giving based on dollar amount, it's their problem, not yours. If you truly don't care to do anything for the children, then don't and let those chips fall where they may.

boefixepa · #39 (**permalink**) 08-25-2006, 09:34 AM

What I don't is this. I offered my sister to fly my oldest neice (her DD 12 yrs old) out to me for the summer, at my expense! There is lots of family her and I had all likds of fun ideas of things we could do. When I offered the first words out of her mouth....

"Then I don't have a baby sitter for the boys."

Her two younger boys are 9 and 6.... see what I deal with! Rather than have her daughter enjoy a summer out doing things! All it was was excuse after excuse...she doesn't want her children to spend time with me...she just wants me to help buy things for them so she doesn't have to!

geojen · #40 (**permalink**) 08-25-2006, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DivaJen

I do think it would be horrible to say you can't afford to buy gifts when it sounds like what's actually bothering you is the expectation that you have to buy gifts. You could get any number of nice but inexpensive gifts for young children - books at $5-$6 a piece, as well as what others here have suggested.

Do what makes you feel good for the children come holiday time, and let the other adults deal with it as they see fit. If they judge your gift-giving based on dollar amount, it's their problem, not yours. If you truly don't care to do anything for the children, then don't and let those chips fall where they may.

You are totally right. Thanks for helping to put that in perspective. They all get so caught up in the dollar amount, not the thought or the gesture, or even the gift itself. It would also be nice is my SILs taught their children to say thank you, which they haven't yet...