Am I being cheap?

[PrincessPerky]

You know the thing I miss most about birthdays is the fun and the family.....It seems like you are supposed to throw a thousand dollarbash..with no extra money to invite the grandmas or the aunts or uncles..just the billion age mates...I dunno..we just do a family and friend party..and honestly leave the gifts at home, I would just like some family and fun..I'll make the cake, you sing ...

[amberfocus]

The amount of money that you spend on your kid's birthday parties is not an indication of how much you love him, no matter what certain other people like to insinuate.

What you're planning is perfectly fine. Show your kid your love by having enough money to send him to the college of his choice. That's what my family did for me.

[queenmamma]

I agree with you completely....my son will be 6 soon, and he has yet to have a big birthday, we have always just don the family thing with a decortive cake and maybe plates to match. Now that he is in kindergarden, I may go for chuckie cheese or something...but not in the past.

[InDebtInDC]

This thread begs the question: why do people celebrate birthdays with gifts, or just celebrate in general?

I know it goes back centuries, but what was the rationale behind all this? Is it just a ploy to get us to spend more money?


Some food for thought, in some non-Western cultures, the person celebrating the birthday is expected to throw a feast for everyone at the birthday person's expense.

[Coleroo]

no! you are not being cheap! you sound like you are doing exactly what i plan on doing for my son's birthdays (he's due in may of next year ). I plan on a big "home" party out in our patio for family when he turns one, but that'll only cost as much as hotdogs, ice cream and dollar store decorations. I also plan on putting money in his savings account and getting small gifts. I fully believe that huge, expensive parties are rediculous for children under the age of 5. I had a friend one time who said her friends rented a huge cabin in the mountains and all other lavish stuff with many invited guests for their daughter's 2 year old birthday. oh my gosh! i guess though if you have real money to burn, burn it like that...but if it puts you in debt or takes from savings, no way!

[simple987]

My sister in law does exactly what the original poster was talking about. When her kids were just infants/toddlers, she would throw elaborate parties that are catered, with themes, etc. She would starting planning a year beforehand and would talk about it nonstop. It didn't take a long time for me to understand that those parties are more for the parents to show off their kids and party-hosting skills.

[Ingtar17]

No need to throw a party your two year old will never remember. At that age they're just as happy at a party (and sometimes not) as a walk in the woods. Save the money. Friends who pressure you to do what you don't want to do are not friends at all.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

No. But if you want a party have it. My cousin had a ridiculously huge party for his 1 year old we're talking 500 people so a few thousand. Well as long as he's happy.

But for me, I had big parties because of my huge family. Eh, what can you do?

[cschin4]

I really think everyone should just do whatever they think works for them. However, i don't think we should criticize what other people are choosing either just because it isn't what we would do. I personally enjoy spending a few bucks and having a nice party for my kids. I have rented out the YMCA, had swim parties, movie parties, bowling parties, etc. Nothing elaborate just cake, pizza, pop, etc. But, by the time I add it up it usually amounts to a couple hundred bucks. However, we can easily afford it so it is just something we enjoy. I would not go into debt to throw a party though.
And, if your friend does throw these parties, please allow your son to go. He will have a good time. And, where else can your kid be entertained for several hours for the cost of a $5 gift. Parties are good, fun CHEAP entertainment to those attending.
I usually chose to have parties outside my home just because it is easier to manage the kids and I don't have to worry about them trashing my house!
But, I have also had home parties as well. I think the main thing is to make the day special. You can easily do this at home my setting a nice table, baking a special birthday cake, having the relatives over and so forth.

[FrugalFish]

The problem, as I see it, is this: How will your child know you love him if you don't throw an expensive party?

I find it horrifying that parents make such big ordeals out of little kids parties and dread when my DD is old enough to be invited to such parties. We have a lot of problems around this area with schools having a policy that a child can't have a birthday party unless they invite everyone in the class- I can't believe schools think they can dictate what goes on in our lives outside of school. I can see not passing out invites at school, but at the same time kids need to learn about coping with rejection. When DD is old enough for parties, we'll have a small get together with a few close friends and the heck with the school if they come after us afterwards because the kids are talking about what they did over the weekend and someone feels sad and left out (good luck coping in the real world, sister).

We do a birthday thing for our DD- she will be 2 in Feb and I don't know what we'll do yet, but it may just be a day trip for the 3 of us. For her 1st b-day we threw a family party- DH hung streamers and I blew up balloons (*gasp* I didn't buy a helium tank!) and also made a homemade cake. Everyone had fun, DD got overtired, but we were glad we did it. It was simple and cheap. Birthdays for kids (and parents) should be about memories and fun, to me a generic store-bought party, that looks like all the others, doesn't have quite the same memories or fun attached to it.

[cschin4]

I can't believe schools think they can dictate what goes on in our lives outside of school. I can see not passing out invites at school, but at the same time kids need to learn about coping with rejection.

I agree completely. The idea is to teach your children how to invite other kids is a discreet manner so as not to hurt others' feelings. But, kids also need to learn that they are also not going to be invited to everything and that's life. However, expecting someone to host a party and invite 20-30 kids is ridiculous. I am inviting the entire K class for my daughter this year. But, I am doing it because I think she will enjoy it and we are having it at the YMCA so additional children really won't cause any problems. After that, I will probably have smaller parties.

[nelson84]

It only happens once a year, I think you are being cheap. Do to others what you would expect from them. When you are old they will probably not go out of their way to visit you, so be prepared.

[cicy33]

[quote=FrugalFish;138239]We have a lot of problems around this area with schools having a policy that a child can't have a birthday party unless they invite everyone in the class- I can't believe schools think they can dictate what goes on in our lives outside of school. QUOTE]

Schools cannot dictate your personal lives. They can state and they do here: You cannot give out invitations at school unless it is for the whole class and I agree with that! For one thing, kids can be very cruel. and little Bobby might tell Jimmy that he is not invited since he wasn't handed an invite whereas if it is received at home Bobby won't know who got one. But there is no way a school can say you cannot have a private party and invite anymore you want. Just mail the invites to the families you want to invite.

When the kids were smaller we did the family thing for birthdays. Now that they are older I have started asking them what they would like to do. The ones I did last year was rent the local pool for two hours $50. Ordered Pizza hut Pizza 10@$5 = $50. a couple of cases of cheap soda and juices, paper plates (which nobody used!) and napkins $20.00. the pool allowed us to invite up to 100 people. scary enough the family takes up approximately 40 and that is immediate! We invited the whole family and my daughter was allowed to invite only 5 friends. Her brothers were allowed to invite each 2 friends.
Pool and supply Cost: $120.00
No kids to deal with at my house, tramping in dirt and driving me nuts: Priceless!

I am the same as the other poster I don't want to deal with a houseful of kids. We have also done Chuckie Cheese, Bowling alley (we actually had the child invite a couple of friends and we just took them bowling, we did not rent the alley) and the skating rink. If you budget properly you can do it tastefully. Some of my daughters friends go to a place called Extreme Sports. It is a place where they jump and tumble and stuff like that. It is too pricey for me. So I can't allow that. I want to do things that I can afford and the family can still attend if they wish. The skating rink we split last year with my sister in law and the whole family attended. Safer skating too!

[leggzz66]

I dont see the problem with how much one spends on a party. Money doesnt equal love. I buy supplies at the dollar tree, plates, napkins, cups, decorations, a balloon for each year of life, all different, silverware, etc. same stuff as wm, only less then half the price, doesnt mean i love less. same plates at walmart, exact same, are 2.38 plus tax, they are 1.00 at dollar tree, only difference is the cost. To me being frugal on that note, is a good thing, saves more money for gifts and what your gonna do that day, pool party, horsebackriding, bowling, etc.

[Rick01]

I totally agree that there's no need to spend a bunch of money on a 2 year old. We have three kids and only on the third has my wife started to see it my way. Before, she just go crazy (in my opinion).

[leggzz66]

oh also for my dd's bday, one of her 13 balloons, was a butterfly shaped bfly balloon, that walmart was selling for 5.49, some of that stuff is just rediculous. i got same balloon, for what? 1.00 of course. I was referring to the kind that shine like tin foil, not just regular balloons. they wont air those up at our dollar tree, i dunno why, they do in michigan, i guess its a store by store deal. I also got at the dollar tree, and hand balloon blower, cause all those balloons for everyone, just hurts my cheeks anymore.lol.

Last year all the dks parties were at home, we had a 5 ft rises as you fill it pool, same price id of paid renting a pool, it was at home, i didnt have to go anywhere, plus a moonbounce, my mom bought my kids a few years back at Christmas when they first came out to the public instead of just retailers/rentals, and bought a 10 dollar spongebob slip n slide, used for all 3 parties. My expense, 175, for 3 parties as far as things to do, we also had a putter set up, that dh made hisself and his big gift was one of those bball hoops that you can move around, with the heavy bottom, from walmart, not the fisher price kind, so kids into darkness had a fun day at his party. My daughters unfortunatly got cut short by tornados. and weve had that pool 2 summers now, and everyday use as well thru swimming season has been awesome. When my mom comes down from mi. she gets a room at drurys which has an indoor pool, so one of those 2 bdays for dd was at drurys which she enjoyed and we ordered pizza hut as well. she remembers those well and have loads of pix. We also have a trampoline which the kids love and it being outside is just another item to add to the i can do this list for thier bdays, just put the party papers up and the tablecloth and stuff from dollar tree, food and cake which i always do order at walmart. A theme cake, yes im guilty of that.lol, my daughter saw they made ones with cupcakes now, one looked like a butterfly, i got 2 for her bday, they use 24 cupcakes for it at 26.95, one for her class and one for her party. she wont get one for school this year though, as she has 7 different classrooms a day now.lol.