Pesky neighbours, co-workers may actually cost you

[Amorphous02]

I was hoping that someone could help me with a terrible neighbor.
She is nosy, rude and uncouth.

Her children always play rough with my kid.
I cut off all interaction with her.
I blocked her e-mail.
I have changed my place of worship to avoid her.
She found out that if she greets me in public, I won't tell her to back off... she take advantage of it.
How do I tell her to just leave me alone?
She refuses to take a hint and I dont want an ugly scene.
I am tired of her family's rude, unclassy behavior.
Some of my friends from MA tell me that I need to remain silent so that I do have someone nearby to help me in case of emergency.


This woman also brings me her kids' clothes: when did I ever say that our child needed hand-me downs? Should I leave a big bundle on her door step?

Please advise!!

[Ima saver]

I don't like confrontations. I would write her a letter and tell her that I would prefer that she leave me alone.

[Amorphous02]

Ima, I have missed you!

I did send a subtle message, she did not get it.
I wrote, "Thanks for the interest."
If anyone were to say that to me, I would not ever look them up again. She is just soo shameless. She even put our mutual friends up to e-mailing me persistently. Cant handle such pressure. They want me to be friends with her again.
AAAhhh!
so painful.

[Amorphous02]

Thank you for your post Ima.

I am the kind of person who stops after one or two conversations. This woman just goes on.

[loanstar]

if i were in those situations, i'd make sure i return the bother, just to show them how it feels.
that neighbour takes it to the extreme though, asking for bread?

[cschin4]

IMA - When you 2 are out to dinner, holding hands, etc and Mr. Pest comes up, why can't you just say "I'm sorry, this is a private dinner and we do not want any company". Then, go back to gazing at each other and COMPLETELY IGNORE this fellow until he gets up and walks away. Over time, you will not be catering to his need, then he will find someone else instead. Just because you are doing some work for him doesn't make you his captive. And, if he wants to talk business, hand him your spouses' business card and ask him to call during normal business hours.

To the folks with Dog Problems. Start calling the Dog Catcher and report these people. There are Leash laws. And, loose dogs are a danger to children! Letting these dogs roam about is a recipie for disaster. People who do not leash or chain their dogs have no business having them. THere are very FEW dogs who are well behaved enough to be off-leash.

Regarding Neighbors - Good Fences make Good Neighbors. I love having a fence and would never go without one. I have a chain link fence and it is great. No more stray dogs romping through the yard, no unknown people walking through my yard and so forth. Invest in a fence! It is well worth the money.

[Amorphous02]

Originally Posted by loanstar

if i were in those situations, i'd make sure i return the bother, just to show them how it feels.
that neighbour takes it to the extreme though, asking for bread?

We moved, thankfully.
The loser was dumped by his g.f. while she was carrying their child. Now he has to put up with her dating others!!

[Amorphous02]

IMA - When you 2 are out to dinner, holding hands, etc and Mr. Pest comes up, why can't you just say "I'm sorry, this is a private dinner and we do not want any company". Then, go back to gazing at each other and COMPLETELY IGNORE this fellow until he gets up and walks away. Over time, you will not be catering to his need, then he will find someone else instead. Just because you are doing some work for him doesn't make you his captive. And, if he wants to talk business, hand him your spouses' business card and ask him to call during normal business hours.
If only I could steel myself and do that!!!

[cschin4]

Her children always play rough with my kid.
I cut off all interaction with her.
I blocked her e-mail.
I have changed my place of worship to avoid her.
She found out that if she greets me in public, I won't tell her to back off... she take advantage of it.
How do I tell her to just leave me alone?
She refuses to take a hint and I dont want an ugly scene.
I am tired of her family's rude, unclassy behavior.
Some of my friends from MA tell me that I need to remain silent so that I do have someone nearby to help me in case of emergency.


This woman also brings me her kids' clothes: when did I ever say that our child needed hand-me downs? Should I leave a big bundle on her door step?

Please advise!!

It really doesn't sound as if your neighbor means you any harm. In fact, it sounds as if she is trying to be friendly. Bringing you some old clothes is probably meant as a gift. I have occassionally given old clothes to people who have younger children. I don't think you should view that with suspicion.
As for the kids "playing rough". Are they older than your kids? Do your kids seem to mind it? What do you mean by that?
If they are hitting your child, then they need to stop it. But, if they get a little too rough playing ball, etc, then tell your children to play less aggressive type games.
If you don't like this person, then that is your right. And, you can be cool but polite. I would not recommend that you start a war with your neighbor though. You just need to be more bold in excusing yourself or telling her that you don't have time to talk, etc.

[Amorphous02]

I agree: I hate confrontations.
I have become so good at avoiding her!

Her kids are just one or two years older than my child.
What I hate is that she never tells her child to stop misbehaving. Her children dont even listen to her.


Here is the etiquette I follow with old clothes:
I ask the mom if she has ever recieved such things before.
I ask her if she wants to choose some things from a box of hand-me downs.
I never dump a bunch of clothes and say: I brought these over for your kid.
Whats funny is that she never accepts hand-me downs from any one. She has never offered such things to other moms we both know!!!

Its one thing to be friendly and quite another to invite another rude person for tea: she knows we dont get along. When she did all these on purpose, I felt that I just dont need this headache!

She would get me out of bed at 7:00 A.M in the morning for our shopping trip. She would call and the phone would keep ringing.
I had told her well in advance that she should count me out.

She thinks that I wont be able to say "No" in the last minute. Never met some one so pushy.

Well-bred people are polite and sensitive. Ill-bread ones are uncouth and insensitive.

Now she got the message because I had a mutual friend tell her that I was very busy.

[Amorphous02]

Ima, this ones for you:

I found out that the lady who runs a local "daycare" at her home was overcharging us and was doing so illegally.
She claims diability and runs this on the side!!! In addition , one cannot run such a business in a rented apartment. The City fines such people.
In adition, she is not a certified care giver.
Her house is not baby-proofed.
(She kept looking on as some kids ran away with my childs drink.)

I then pulled my kid out of the "day-care" and I started hiring a high school kid to baby sit.... she charged lesser and was very careful.

This rude neighbour started telling me that high-school kids are no good and that I would regret pulling my kid from the neighbors day-care. That was the last straw: I cut her off completely.
Who would behave like that?

I respect other people's choice so much. To me space and respect are everything.

what do you think , Ima?