Do you impose frugality in gift giving?

[Kris10Leigh]

I do! When I purchase gifts for people, I often think "Can they use this?" I am going to a baby shower for a friend who is having twins. Diapers are expensive! So my shower gift is $50 worth of diapers. If it were me, I would rather have $50 worth of something I'd have to buy anyway than one or two outfits. I could go to the thrift store and buy an awful lot of outfits for $50!

I think about things like this at Christmas time too. I tend to buy practical things. Sometimes I like a few impractical things though...like a cute little Cherished Teddy. But not in excess!

Thoughts?

[rob62521]

I'm like you in many ways. We had four different baby showers this year at my school for staff members (is there something in the water?). I bought practical gifts like diapers, baby wipes. The new mothers were kind of ho-hum. The mothers who already had children were thrilled because they said it's a fortunate keeping up with the stuff they know they will use.

I'm not always practical, but usually.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Well, I think my frugality and empathy steered me the wrong way with a gift one time and I've felt bad about it for almost twenty years. A relative to whom I am not close was laid off from his factory job due to his company losing a contract. He had three children and a fourth on the way. They had to sink a good bit of money into continuing the health insurance from the job (Is that called COBRA?) because she had a complicated pregnancy that did end up requiring hospitalization. So insurance was eating up their savings. And he wasn't able to find new work.

I knew that this family typically really splurged on the kids at Christmas and I heard they were trying their best to do the same this year, even with the very tight finances. (They didn't splurge all the time, just at Christmas.) They would not go into debt over Christmas gifts, but they'd probably spend what cash they had.

At the time, I was poor myself. They normally were better off than me. So I sympathized and thought about what NEEDS might they not be able to afford if they splurged on their kids. I then put together I box of household goods and personal care items. It wasn't much, because as I say, I was poor myself. I put in toilet paper, laundry and dish detergent, deoderants, toothpaste...I don't remember what all. Oh, there was some duct tape in it! I didn't wrap it but gave it in a recycled open-top box. But I did present it as a Christmas present to their household.

They were not rude and they did say thank-you, but the looks on their faces were kind of odd. I guess they might have been insulted, I'm not sure. Probably they just thought I was weird to give such a thing and call it a Christmas present. Sometimes I'm probably too practical. Because I see these folks so infrequently, I figure they have always characterized me by that incident. So I think I am awfully cheap in their eyes.

[boefixepa]

Joan...I think that was a great present, it was probably their pride that was suffering.

What's hard is trying to understand the recievers perception on things. I always try to give gifts by the my best guess on the receivers view of things. I don't always hit it on the mark, but I come much closer.

So sometimes frugal, sometimes not.

[pearlieq]

I try not to exchange presents as much as possible. Of course, my family and I exchange birthday and Christmas presents, but I prefer to just exchange cards (at most) with my friends. So far it works for everyone.

I always try to get something practical that the recipient wants. I also try to resist the pressure to push spending upwards. My last birthday was kind of awkward because my best friend bought me a $40 sweater. It was a nice gesture, but then I felt on the hook to reciprocate in kind. I struggled with it for a while before sticking to my guns (mostly) and giving her our normal card, plus some extra flowers, for her birthday. Hopefully she got the message.

[Ima saver]

Diapers are my favorite gift too cause it is so practical and saves money. I hate getting presents I am never going to use . My favorite gift to give (and especially get) is a gift certicate to my local favorite restaurant.

[Roupey03]

I agree gift certificates are always good.

[justbee]

Hi everyone, have been enjoying the discussions here for some months but just joined.

My question goes along with this topic, if you know someone is struggling month to month is it tacky to give say a gift card to a grocery store as a gift for Christmas. For them that would free up the grocery money to buy gifts for their kids. I just would rather give something useful than spend on some gift they may not like, and I would still buy the kids a gift. I wouldn't be imposing frugality but I know they need to buy groceries?

[Ima saver]

I think a gift card to a grocery store is a wonderful idea. also, I like homemade things like cookies and fudge more than a present I would never use.

[boefixepa]

I always give gift cards to Wal-mart for family. They can use for groceries or blow it their choice and I don't have to deal with what they do with it.

[Roupey03]

Being a computer nerd/movie addict/music lover/ electronics Jukie I love gift cards to best buy or circiut city.

[Kris10Leigh]

I agree with Boe, I think Wal-mart or Meijer are good choices for the same reasons. It doesn't come across as "here's money for groceries." If I received such a gift card, I'd be overjoyed and would purchase grocery items or toiletries. I might also choose to use it to purchase gifts for my children for upcoming birthdays or Christmas. I think it's a great idea!

[shengmei]

I buy gifts that are 75% off. It seems to be a rule for grad students to never buy gifts for each other unless the gifts were already on sale.

[pearlieq]

I also adore getting gift cards! It's like getting 2 presents. You get the actual present you open--the gift card. But then you get all the fun of planning and shopping and picking out a treat for yourself.

Gift cards are my favorite presents!

[Ima saver]

I think a gift card to wal marts would be great. i seem to get the kind I don't use. I have one for a framing store and one to Grove Park Inn in Ashville. (for $500) They won't take dogs and I would never put my baby in a kennel, so we can't go.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Roupey03

I agree gift certificates are always good.

I'm one of the strange folks who despises gift cards. I hate to get them and refuse to give them.

I hate having to carry around the card and only being able to use it in a certain store. I hate having to spend more than the amount of the gift in order to use the full value of the card. I hate having a small amount left on the card and the store refusing to give you the balance in cash.

Over the years, I have also had numerous times where I was given a gift card for a store that I don't shop in (usually by a casual aquaintance who didn't know me well). While I certainly appreciated the thought, the gift was wasted or used for something stupid or got regifted. Now you can sell them online, which I've done, but that wasn't always an option.

I used to give my office staff gift cards each year, but I stopped years ago for all of these reasons. Now, they get cash and I've never heard a single complaint.

[disneysteve]

I didn't answer the original question.

Yes, I am frugal in my gift giving. I have often given gifts that were purchased second-hand. Particularly to folks who are collectors. If I find an item that I know they'd like for their collection at a yard sale or flea market, I'll pick it up for them.

We also will shop at outlet stores, especially for wedding presents. We'll get the couple's registry from the department store and then head to the outlets to actually buy the gift. This works to everyone's advantage. For example, one friend was registered for Lenox crystal stemware. For what we wanted to spend on a gift, we could have gotten 2 pieces at the department store. At the outlet, we got 4 pieces for less than the 2 would have cost. So we saved money and they got 2 extra glasses.

[vsjhoc]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

I'm one of the strange folks who despises gift cards. I hate to get them and refuse to give them.

Count me as strange too. I rarely receive them (people say I'm easy to buy for; what does that mean?) and only give them as an absolute last resort. To me, it means that I am saying to the recipient "I don't know you well enough to know what you want, or I'm too lazy to use any imagination at all, but I'm getting you something because I know I have to."

[Ima saver]

I don't really like them either. The ones we got to a restaurant, gave us back all the change from the gift card, so we got true value. I don't like the ones where you have to spend more or they have a deadline! I was given one for a dress shop, all I could find was a necklace and I have worn it once. I would rather have had the money!

[kealina]

we try to use our best judgement... some people, like us, don't mind practical gifts... in fact, we were kinda stoked to get a gc to the local drugstore last christmas from an aunt... and yes, cash is great but at least she didn't give us something we didn't want/can't use... my dad is like that and so is my FIL...
then there is semi-practical.... my SIL doesn't mind getting non-neccessities that she would buy anyways... then she can spend her own money on something else she wanted... my mom, sister, brother are also like that...
and then there are the non-practical sorts... my MIL is like that and usually for her we try to find luxuries or treats... things she wouldn't buy for herself normally... dinner at a fancy restaurant, godiva chocolates, flowers are the kinds of things she loves...

and of course in all gift giving we try to be as frugal to stretch our money as far as possible... we keep our eyes open at yard sales, clearance sales and also keep in mind any store credit or gc we may have received... we returned some christmas gifts to macy's one year and used that credit to buy MIL her godiva chocolates for mother's day... we basically try to stretch our money as far as it will go without shortchanging others...