Same old story

[Hypersion]

Maybe my math is bad but here comes my $0.02.

You claim you expenses are ~$1000 and your DH are $1500.

Total

$2500

Your take home pay is ~$2500 and DH takes home even more than that per month.

Total

>$5000.

You should be saving $2500+ a month. I wouldn't be worry about $50 for food or $25 for a cell phone when you have $1000’s every month going un-accounted for.

[Snoopy2645]

Well as for coupons I myself use tons & rarely go towards food I use them on HBA products I havent paid for shampoo & deodarnts & body soap or hair styling things or dish soap in years!!!

[Kris10Leigh]

Hypersion, often times "$50 for food" and "$25 for cell phones" add up to $1000 missing money. Let's see:

$50 unnecessary food
$25 unnecessary cell phone
$50 Kid's haircuts
$23 dog groomer
$25 co-pay at the doctor
$60 kid's needed new shoes
$15 on neighbor kid's birthday
$50 on grandpa's birthday
$17 quick trip to Target for toothpaste but found dishrags on sale to replace tattered ones
$20 oops, overdrew the bank account
$120 curtains for the living room after 5 years of living without
$40 membership to Costco/Sam's Club
$50 oil change
$160 to sign two kids up for soccer
$60 printer ran out of ink
$60 cell phone battery died
$25 had some film developed
$5.00 kid's tooth fell out and the toothfairy owes him
$70 unexpected visit from good friends so an expensive dinner at home
$40 babysitter
$50 night out/ date night
Total: $1075

All those expenses are possible pop-ups for one month's time. If they are unplanned for, they really mess with a budget. I completely made up all the expenses listed, but that is a look at my life prior to coming here. So it isn't fair to say someone should worry about the small expenses. Sometimes it's those small expenses that really catch up to us. This is why the best advice given is to write down every purchase! That $1.25 pop purchased while filling up the gas tank can put someone in the red by $1000 every month.

[Snoopy2645]

Kris you hit the nail on the head that is exactly how it goes to when you have kids & families ya know a little here & thier & it all adds up to ALOT!!!

[Great to be Debt Free]

Bless your heart, dear one. I just came across this thread, and boy has a lot been thrown at you -- and a lot of it is really good advice. Let me just encourage you to take a deep breath and actually smile, because you are on the road to recovery -- and you WILL make it.

I made stupid young mistakes to the tune of $22,000 in credit card debt alone. I almost lost my car to repo and I had a student loan that isn't included in the previous figure. Bills would come, and I would stick them in a drawer and ignore them. I dind't have the money to pay them, so why not? Well, one day it just hit me as I asked for a personal loan from an ex-boyfriend to keep from losing my car. This was not living. Fear of collections. Hardly able to sleep for feeling like a stupid failure. Afraid to go to the mailbox. UGH!

So, like you, I took charge. I pulled out those bills and called to get my total balances. I creid after every call. I wrote down on a simple ledger the total amount due, interest rates, phone numbers, minimum payments, etc. After a day or two of crunching numbers, I called them all back. I remained calm even when some were VERY rude. I wrote down their names and extension numbers so I could try to build relationships with them. I copied my check stub from work and attached it to a letter that included my budget (which I struggled to develop as I had never done that before.).

Basically, I determined what the least I could live on was, and I divvied up the leftover (not much, really, maybe $750 to start against all that debt). I didn't think to portion it out depending on how much of my debt each card accounted for, I just divided it evenly. 8 credit cards, the student loan, and the car. That's $75.00 each. I called to let the "representatives" know I was sending this and a few gave me fax numbers so I faxed it from work.

4 of the eight cards put me on plans that either completely eliminated interest and over limit fees as long as they received a payment of at least $25 by the due date. or reduced the interest to about 7% (A Lot better than 28%).

2 didn't respond at all, but I did't get overlimit fees from them. And the other 2 limited the interest down to about 12% (still better than 24-28%) and closed the accounts. Actually, all but one closed the accounts.

The car folks didn't like it at all and were the least helpful, and the student loan gave me a 6 month break.

My last late payment that showed up on my credit report once I started making those $75 payments was in July 2001. It will still be on my credit report for a little longer, but I am so much closer. And my budgeting and taking a second job (I know, not an option for everyone), I was out of debt (yes, everything!) by January 2003. No credit consolidation, no more loans, just hard work. But the collection calls stopped. The reps. got to know me, and after 3 months of $75 payments, one credit card (Chase) gave me a credit of $1000 just because I had proved my efforts and so they forgave that amount.

You can do it. Every time you pay off an account, frame that final bill that says $0 balance and put it where you can see it. Be proud of yourself for working so hard to free yourself from debt. I am very proud of you.

And I would love to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey -- free, because it is sound advice, and it is concise and quick to read. I'll see if I can email you to get an address to send it. I really am excited for you!

Keep us posted!

[greedy4chips]

Great to be Debt Free,
Great story!

Originally Posted by Great to be Debt Free

And I would love to send you a copy of Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey -- free, because it is sound advice, and it is concise and quick to read. I'll see if I can email you to get an address to send it. I really am excited for you!

I will help you with the book too if you want I will go in half with you just let me know where to PayPal the money too and how much.

I can put that into my budget!

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Great to be Debt Free, your story is tremendous, very motivating.

[Great to be Debt Free]

I just figured it would be good to show the light at the end of the tunnel.

I've done pretty well managing our (I got married in Feb. 2003) finances,but after reading the book I mentioned I found that there was a lot more I could do. And so I got started and recently found this site.

This sure is a group of wise folks, and I can't wait to bank on some of the great ideas I've seen! Pun intended!

Good luck to all of us, I say!

[Kris10Leigh]

Hey Timetosave, what happened? I hope we didn't scare you off.

[Ima saver]

I had a strong feeling that she would not be back. Sorry, but her story did not hold water with me!

[greedy4chips]

I hope she comes back. Give her a couple days, I am sure things were overwhelming her. We tossed alot of questions at her and some harsh comments.

I want to see the numbers and get her through the debt.





PS 100 Posts woohoo!

[Homebody]

I had a strong feeling that she would not be back. Sorry, but her story did not hold water with me!

What do you mean?

[Great to be Debt Free]

I wonder what's meant by that as well. It seems to me she was very open and revealing. With a disabled husband and autistic child it may be that she hasn't had time to do the spreadsheet yet; but I, too, hope we see her back.

[scrava]

I hope she'll come back too! It's hard to get started.
Plus, it seems like she has a lot on her plate.

[Ima saver]

I just meant that a lot of things she said, did not make sense to me. She had a lot of money unaccounted for. She said the kids were adopted, then she said they were her husband's. She was wanting to borrow money. She said she bought very few clothes, but all the charge offs were clothing stores. I don't mean her any harm, I just didn't believe her. Sorry, I worked with a girl like that, always telling stories so people would give her money. I almost gave her all my tips one week to help her pay her bills. Then she showed me the $100 worth of portraits she had made that week, but her power was going to be turned off in 3 days!

[Thrifty Ray]

I just read this thread and I think I can clear up the bad check questions.

There is a huge problem with this type of crime over the internet.

Let's say I am the bad guy. I have in my possession a check that Ima Saver wrote to me for $10 for something I sold to her door to door.

I have all of her banking information, including her signature...and I can now turn that check into as many new checks as I want.

So, I buy something off the internet and have it delivered to bogus address using a ficticious name...that i will close as soon as my 'purchase' arrives.

In the meantime, the person who sold me the item deposits my check, thinking I am Ima Saver. The check wont come back until Ima Saver realizes what has happened...which can take several weeks...In the meantime, the person who received the bogus check has paid bills and now has a big ol check that came back...and starts bouncing lots of checks...

Ima Saver also has some bounced checks to deal with...

or, I could have gotten Ima's # by stealing her mail....or maybe I stole her purse and her checkbook was in it...etc, etc..

Now, imagine that I didnt get that check from Ima...but rather a large, well known company...A trusted company who wont notice a much larger check..

This type of crime happens alot. And the person accepting the check is the one responsible for it....they are the one who is presumed (by law) to know the person who wrote the check and will be the one who takes the loss.

Ima would not be responsible for the check, as it is counterfeit. and the person who created the counterfeit is long gone...

[timetosave]

Hi, good suggestions. As far as food intake is concerned I am low carb so the foods on the cheap food list would never work (they are cheap because they are not healthy) we eat meat, we are not picky the only requirement is that there is no processed foods...fresh meats and veggies are all we eat. No frozen or canned...there is no room for compromise on this we are health nuts. I am going to join the challenge, I have to take the time to look around this site to see what else is offered.

timetosave

Originally Posted by lrjohnson

[

Well, it’s not the best position to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. It seems that it’s not so much my post, as I did not know the number of people and as I asked questions to be able to offer specifics. I have not used a coupon in five years, so I wasn’t trying to say they were the answer, although some have done exceptionally well with them.

Timetosave, now that I know it’s 4 not 3 people, which was a question in my original post, I’d agree it does not sound excessive. And note I never said it was “too much” just that it could be cut. While you are focusing on paying down debt you may choose to reduce spending in other areas temporarily, such as your food bill. If you wanted, you could use grocery savings to accelerate debt pay off.

We need to know a little more about your food habits before I can offer any advice. Specifics are not helpful when they aren’t tailored. So: do you cook all 3 meals at home? Do you have any dietary restrictions in your house? Do you eat meat? If so, can you reduce or cut out? Do you use convenience food, such as Hamburger Helper or Noodle Roni or Banquet Crock Pot meals or the like? Do you do any couponing? Do you get chips or sweets or soda? Do you buy bulk foods? Do you have a large freezer?

The main question would be is this an area you are willing to try to cut, or do you feel that you are as low as you can go without sacrificing nutrition and satisfaction?

Here are some helpful articles/threads

Cheapest food

Boefixepa's challenge

How to shop

“I just can get our food bill down”
This thread seems to have the most extensive selection of a variety of tips.

If you like couponing or want to know more about it, check out Flash’s blog and the coupon section of the site.

We are rooting for you.

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I just meant that a lot of things she said, did not make sense to me. She had a lot of money unaccounted for. She said the kids were adopted, then she said they were her husband's. She was wanting to borrow money. She said she bought very few clothes, but all the charge offs were clothing stores. I don't mean her any harm, I just didn't believe her. Sorry, I worked with a girl like that, always telling stories so people would give her money. I almost gave her all my tips one week to help her pay her bills. Then she showed me the $100 worth of portraits she had made that week, but her power was going to be turned off in 3 days!

I'm not going to put you down for your opinion, though I could. I'm not sure I really want your input here because it does not seem that you understand what you read. My son is adopted, he is autistic, our daughter is our biological child. I have a lot of money unaccounted for because I have no idea where it is being spent, I have NEVER written down what I've spent on a daily basis, this is a very first for me. I still think getting a loan to consolidate all of this will be easier for me....then I have clean credit and only one payment. I purchase very few clothes...my credit cards are not all clothing stores, the ones that are were for the last 6 years that I was a stay at home mom and that was the only way I could purchase clothing for myself and children. I have not come here to ask for money, I've never asked anybody for money...in my life...other than the bank. My power is not going to be turned off, my frig is filled with food, my children are healthy and happy. I am in debt. There is no sob story here I just finally have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to act like a grown up and start addressing my debt...on my own...if you don't like what I'm saying DON'T COME TO THIS VINE. We will be fine without you.

timetosave

[lillyb]

Wow, I've just spent the last 40 minutes reading through the whole thread, don't know how I missed it before.

Timetosave, I do hope you come back and don't give up!!

It is very scary having lots of people peek into your personal financial life. It was very brave to post that here, and a huge first step in seeking help.

I know some things sounded harsh, but it's just my opinion that most here won't bother reading through these many pages just to be mean. Most here are truly here to offer help, even if it didn't come through clear. Some also approach with tough love, which is still love. It goes for everyone, please read these posts knowing that a lot is lost in translation. (((((hugs)))))

Groceries aren't too bad, we spend $300 a month for 3 people (including toiletries, paper and cleaning goods, pet food, etc.). Sure, I can cut it down more, but we are at a comfortable level and it keeps us from revolting and going out to eat.

Can't wait for the rundown. Sometimes someone can give you a fresh perspective on things you can cut down. After I posted a budget I got lots of advice, some would work for us, some did not. But it was very helpful.

I second the Total Money Makeover book. For people that really need a step by step plan, it works. Some things don't fit everyone, but it's a good solid plan, and extremely motivational.

Am wishing the best for you, I know how hard it is waking up realizing the mess you sit in. Chin up.

[Jacklad]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I just meant that a lot of things she said, did not make sense to me. She had a lot of money unaccounted for. She said the kids were adopted, then she said they were her husband's. She was wanting to borrow money. She said she bought very few clothes, but all the charge offs were clothing stores. I don't mean her any harm, I just didn't believe her. Sorry, I worked with a girl like that, always telling stories so people would give her money. I almost gave her all my tips one week to help her pay her bills. Then she showed me the $100 worth of portraits she had made that week, but her power was going to be turned off in 3 days!

I think you may be misreading her. I just went over the entire thread, and here's how I read it:

She's married to a disabled man. They have one biological child, an 11 year old daughter. At some point, they adopted twins, one of whom died and the other who is currently 8 years old and autistic. The children are his - one biologically and the other through adoption - so there is no other parent or child support in the picture. They get a stipend of $500 per month towards the care of the autistic child, the husband gets some sort of disability pension, and she brings in a paycheck.

Now the husband - quite probably because of her history of chargeoffs and judgements - has separated himself from her finances. His pension pays the house, insurance, etc. and she has said "Our home is in my husbands name, he did not want to chance having it taken away because of my credit...he will not put it up to bail me out..." I can understand why he doesn't want to take that risk.

She stayed home with the kids initially but has been working for the last year. While home with the kids, she got herself into financial trouble - sounds like a "comfort" spender, using purchases to reward herself. Now she's working but feels overwhelmed by the accumulated debt and doesn't know where to start.

Assuming she gets her deferrment on her student loans, my advice would be for her to pay all her "for debt" income against the car this month, then bring it current next month. She needs to do this as the car is a necessity and is the easiest thing to repossess.

Then her plan should be to make the car payment and divide the remainder of her money between the three judgements. The chargeoffs will affect her credit, but won't get any worse at this point, so they can wait.

If her car payment is ~$400 per month, she would have $1100 to go against the debt. If she concentrates on the judgements she could have them paid off in just over a year. At that point, she will have to decide whether she wants to pay off the charged off amounts or leave them. The moral benefit of paying them off is obvious, but the practical benefit of leaving them unpaid is that they will fall off her credit report faster (if she decides to pay them, it will "start the clock" on reporting all over - she could try to negotiate payment for removal of the listing, but that's not a given by any means).

And that's my 2 cents.



Jackie