Same old story

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by taking charge

Did you spend the money from the check, is that why? If I deposit a bad check, the money just does not show up in my account, and I may have to pay a fee for that bad check bouncing, say $15.00. Since the check did not show up in my account - I did not spend it.

Did you spend it?

Yep, but I waited until my bank told me 'if it was bad we would have known by now' both times...it was a nightmare...I just don't trust anymore.

G

[timetosave]

Oh, i'm not divorced

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

Leasing a car is a very bad idea, even for a rich person. I don't understand the bad checks, did they give them to you or did you write bad checks??

I didn't write anything...these were checks sent to me as payment for the laptops...by the way both people got away with a total of 6 laptops from me so I was out that money also...

One check was drawn on a business, we looked up the business - legit, we called the bank the check was drawn on - legit - however when the check reached the bank drawn on it was deemed a copy a fake...I ate the loss, same thing with the other check...but it was a personal account

G

[Snoopy2645]

Can you get a pt job maybe do a little something on the side if your 11 yr old is your only kid maybe that wouldnt be so bad. Also quit buying clothes for 1yr if you get desperate look for people with older bigger girls than your dd & see if they have anything they can spare. Also get the car gone NOW!!! Buy a cheap good on gas something in cash!!! Just a few tips also get into rebates & coupons & cut xmas & bdays to the minimum some years I got my 3 daugthers gifts for practically nothing!!!

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by greedy4chips

The charge offs have to be reported on your income taxes as income I believe.

I did not know this...I've never put this on my taxes...never income? I still have to pay it

What do you have left after current living expenses like home, food, and utilities. You have to live first.

I am living paycheck to paycheck right now (for the last year)

My plan of attack would be to definitely sell the vehicle and get a personal loan for the difference if upside down. That is going to be awfully tough with your history, but $26k+ verhicle is gonna get repo'd if you don't do something fast.

Sell the vehicle...get a junker? I need reliable transportation, I have two children, one is autistic and a severly disabled husband...I can't have a junker even for a year...I get the cost thing but with my credit there is nothing I am going to purchase that is not going to be crazy...I'm the only one working in our family, I can't afford to lose my job because I don't have transportation...as far as a personal loan is concerned, I've gone to all the banks around here (which hurts my credit even more) I've even asked the local bank (have known that family since I was a child) and I've been told no each time...I have even taken in a workable budget...no go. I wish there were someone who could consolidate all this debt for me...I would at least feel less stressed because I have less bills to pay...
The bank will work with you if you sit down with them and show them your budget. I have known people who actually did this! Ask them if you can pay them $50 a month and you will meet with them every 3 months to show them your progress and rework your payment plan to suit your needs. They will do it because otherwise they may never collect the $5800.

But honestly without the vehicle you are much better off than you seem to think.

I am not sure if you own or rent a home, but you could babysit or do in home daycare to make extra money. Our friend did it 24 hrs a day when she divorced her abusive ex and had a paid for home and money in the bank within 8 years...just a 2 bedroom very modest home.

Our home is in my husbands name, he did not want to chance having it taken away because of my credit...he will not put it up to bail me out...

Point is at $2-$3 an hr per kid you can make an extra $100 per week while the kids sleep if you do 3rd shift daycare. My current daycare lady does it on first shift only, so she can be with her 2 kids in the evening and still does fairly well. I pay her $3 an hr for 1 kid during my school hrs and she is very flexible on the schedule.

I have a very violent autistic child, I can not have other children in the house, I acutally thought about this for a while...trying to figure out how I could do it...by the way I was home with him for six years, the 15th is my 1 year anniversary at my current job...Friends or family may be able to help you get a reliable vehicle at a good price if you can find one who is looking to move up. Don't ask for a loan since it may ruin the friendship. Just ask if they know someone who is selling a good car. Try traveling salespeople since they put massive miles on very new vehicles and it tends to be easy miles. We purchases a 1 1/2 yr old Grand Prix with 83K on it for $6000 and it now has 125k and barely any repairs 5 yrs later...knock on wood. I wouldn't sell it for less than $3k because I know how good it is and we have owned it free and clear for 4+ years.

Well there is my 2 cents.

Hope this helps some!



PS Listen to Dave Ramsey live show here http://www.daveramsey.com/radio/home/
He also has archives of his radio show on his site here http://www.daveramsey.com/radio/home...ShowArc hives

He will give you some extra inspiration that you can work your way through this debt!

Thank you so much for your 2 cents. I do not want to seem like I am fighting any of you...these are my realities which is why I'm where I am...I want all the input possible...thanks
timetosave

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by Snoopy2645

Can you get a pt job maybe do a little something on the side if your 11 yr old is your only kid maybe that wouldnt be so bad. Also quit buying clothes for 1yr if you get desperate look for people with older bigger girls than your dd & see if they have anything they can spare. Also get the car gone NOW!!! Buy a cheap good on gas something in cash!!! Just a few tips also get into rebates & coupons & cut xmas & bdays to the minimum some years I got my 3 daugthers gifts for practically nothing!!!

Ok, looks like the car is the focus...I'm not sure about that...it is really needed...all the other suggestions here are solid and I will start figuring out how to do them now.

Needing 26k for a 2005 Buick is not going to be easy to get...the reason (I'm sure) that I owe so much is when I financed it my credit was SOOOO poor.

G

[Kris10Leigh]

Ok, it looks like your life is getting a little mixed up with some miscommunications occuring by the nature of computer back and forth banter, so I'm going to try summarize. Correct me if I'm wrong.

You are married to a disabled man. You have an 11 year old daughter and a violent autistic 8 year old. I work with children like your son, so I understand as much as I can without living with the children. It's really hard, and add that to your financial burden, and Honey, you need a message! You have a car that is really expensive, but it runs well and is reliable and no one is going to give you a loan on a new car anyway.

You have listed your debts. What I would do now is list them again on a piece of paper and include the minimum payments for each one. Post this wherever you sit down to look at your finances and pay bills. There are two theories as to which debt to pay off first. One is pay off the high interest bills first. Once that is done, snowball that money into the next bill with the highest interest. The other theory is the same but paying off the smallest balance first. Since you can't consolidate and you have so many different bills coming at you, I would suggest paying off the smallest bill first.

So basically, in my opinion, pay minimum payments only on all the bills and throw everything you can at the smallest bill.

In the mean time, join us in our "no-spend" thread. We have a lot of fun with that and it's very good for the wallet. Research all the tips on this board for reducing expenses. Set easily attainable goals for yourself. One goal I just set for myself is to cut $5 off my water bill for this month. If I do it, I'll feel good about it.

I hear you about the car. We are extemely upside down our car. I told you we were $23,000 in debt. Yes, well that DOESN'T include the car! LOL! (Not so funny) Our car is $37,000, so I got you beat! It's a long story, but basically the sticker price was $17,000 and we are that upside down. But we have brand new 2006 car, and it is a Toyota so the likely-hood of needing to do much to it is slim. We will still be happy with the car once it is paid off in five years so the plan is to keep it an additional few years. I'll keep making the same "payments" but into my savings account instead until we can buy another car for cash. I've made peace with my expensive car...maybe you can too. Plus, even if I got a clunker, I'd still owe the bank like $20,000 and I'd end up paying for things like new tires, new transmission, etc., etc. All this rambeling about me and my car is to hopefully try to support you in your decision to keep it even though it's probably a good idea not to.

[Ima saver]

The problem is, her car is leased. She won't own it free and clear when it is paid off probably. Yes, she needs to write everything down on paper and then cut her spending desperately. She took the money from the checks, so where is that money? She should have enough to live on and quit a bit left over to make payments on the other debts.

[Kris10Leigh]

Yes, but how is she supposed to turn it in for something cheaper and reliable? I don't see how she could pay cash for it as she doesn't have any and her credit makes her unable to get a loan.

[lrjohnson]

Other people are going to be much better at speaking to the debt portion, and what to pay/how/in what order, etc.

I'll speak to the expenses portion. I have 2 questons, though. Is the 2682 you get a month net or gross? And, is your husband in the same home with you? Some of how you put things makes it seem like you are separated. If you are not, what is his income, and what are "his" expenses-the expenses he is responsible for from his income, such as house payment?

cell phone bill is about 83.00 month (a need not a lux). Even when a cell phone is required, for job or disability in family etc., there are often non-necessity calls made too. Are yoiu at the barest bones plan? Have you pared down the services and minutes to only what you need? You don't mention a land line. If you have a land line, can you cancel it and go pure cell?

food about 400.00. Is this for 3 people, or 4? I think this can definitely be cut. If it's 3 people, it can be cut by $150-a not insignificant amount to add to debt repayment. What are you're shopping habits? Do you buy name brand? Coupon use? Bulk foods? Store brands? Convenience food?
gas 200 month

no insurance payments (husband)

personal care about 50.00 mth (if that) If that's shampoon, TP, etc. it could be reduced. Again, store brand or name brand? Coupons? Bulk buying?

clothing about 100.00 mth, sometimes..for the kids (back to school now which is why I've fallen so far behind since june) This is very very high. Very nice items at garage sales and thrift stores; used clothes are not a punishment for kids. If they are looked at as not so good, kids will pick up on that. But if the used clothing (in greta shape) is presented as good-"lool at this beautiful blouse" the kids go with that. Kids grow so fast, faster than they can wear it out. I am always shocked at how good 50 cent clothing at garage sales look, for kids. Ands even buying new, places like Ross can let you get 5 tops and bottoms for 50 bucks, enough for a whole year. For yourself, stop all purchases now. Use the items in the back of your closet. Make do. Wear holey sweatpants after work. Just buckle down, and make a list, as they come up, of NEEDS. Then shop ahead to meet those needs cheaply.

How about utilities-land line, electric/gas/garbage water?

Cable? eating out? Car insurance? Any entertainment? Gifts? Do you pay into a 401k? Do you get income tax refunds each year? I agree that you need to write down every item. Look in your bank statements and try to construct a usual konth, then look for the not monthly items and average them to be per month-for example, car repairs, car insurance/registration, medical, etc.

You are brave to admit where you are, brave to ask for help, and brave to have a bunch of strangers question your habits. Remember we have no desire to hurt you and many of us have been in the same position. Our goal is to get you into less debt and a calmer life. So take anything that strikes you wrong with a grain of salt. Maybe it's a good idea that you just need to ponder, or may it's an idea that can not work with your special circumstances. Just weigh it and move to the next suggestion.

Weclome to SavingAdvice!

Well considering you have over $3,000 worth of clothing that has been written off in the charges listed, I would have to say you are not hurting for clothing - you probably shouldn't be needing to wear holy sweats.

I do not suggest working e-bay as a second source of income for you, and I do not recommend you going shopping on-line. It would appear that you have a shopping problem, just from what I see listed, and just my opinion.

Instead of spending your time looking for things to buy, maybe you can make a game out of how much you can save and how you can get the debt paid off. So the no spend challenge and grocery forums should be important to you.

You need to learn not to spend money that you don't have, and not to feel the need to spend every cent, as in spending the over $5,000 deposited from the e-bay checks.

If you get a deferrment on the student loan, is it? then you should have enough to pay the double payments on why ever it is so high on the car this month and get caught up on that.

On the charged off items - does that mean you have to pay, just not now?

Then next month you can make regular car payments and regular payments on the judgments (what minimum payments are those)?

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

The problem is, her car is leased. She won't own it free and clear when it is paid off probably. Yes, she needs to write everything down on paper and then cut her spending desperately. She took the money from the checks, so where is that money? She should have enough to live on and quit a bit left over to make payments on the other debts.

Nope, I will never own the car and yes, it is a necessity not a want. I have everything written down...I've written it down so many times I should get stock in a paper company...I have set up budgets around it but get overwhelmed by all the different creditors...I never seem to get ahead...but I will.

It is not like I took the money from the checks like some sort of criminal...I was paid for computers...do you understand that...the money I was paid was not honest...so it turned into a debt. I am out the cost of 6 computers and the checks I cashed at my bank...grand total 24,000.00. Where is the money? I spent it two years ago when I received it...I paid off some bills I took my dd to a concert, I bought school clothing and supplies for her and her little brother...I did the things a mom does...what did I purchase for myself? The computer I'm typing on...that's it.

You make it seem like I am some criminal with this check...I did nothing AT ALL wrong...

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by lrjohnson

Other people are going to be much better at speaking to the debt portion, and what to pay/how/in what order, etc.

I'll speak to the expenses portion. I have 2 questons, though. Is the 2682 you get a month net or gross? And, is your husband in the same home with you? Some of how you put things makes it seem like you are separated. If you are not, what is his income, and what are "his" expenses-the expenses he is responsible for from his income, such as house payment?

That money is net + 500+ I receive monthy for my son (adopted). My husband takes care of all the house expenses...we do have a land line but I won't give that up for 911 reasons...again, husband is disabled and I have an autistic son...very important to have a traceable line. He also has a car payment. I speak like this because this is not his burden, this is debt I pilled up and need to get out of on my own...not that he would help anyways.cell phone bill is about 83.00 month (a need not a lux). Even when a cell phone is required, for job or disability in family etc., there are often non-necessity calls made too. Are yoiu at the barest bones plan? Have you pared down the services and minutes to only what you need? You don't mention a land line. If you have a land line, can you cancel it and go pure cell?

food about 400.00. Is this for 3 people, or 4? I think this can definitely be cut. If it's 3 people, it can be cut by $150-a not insignificant amount to add to debt repayment. What are you're shopping habits? Do you buy name brand? Coupon use? Bulk foods? Store brands? Convenience food?
gas 200 month

This is for 4 people...about 100 a week...that includes any eating out we may do.
no insurance payments (husband)

personal care about 50.00 mth (if that) If that's shampoon, TP, etc. it could be reduced. Again, store brand or name brand? Coupons? Bulk buying?

I've not done bulk buying, where would you do that? I do use store brands in everything and am the queen of the clearance racks...if it is not on sale I NEVER buy it...not even for my dd.

clothing about 100.00 mth, sometimes..for the kids (back to school now which is why I've fallen so far behind since june) This is very very high. Very nice items at garage sales and thrift stores; used clothes are not a punishment for kids. If they are looked at as not so good, kids will pick up on that. But if the used clothing (in greta shape) is presented as good-"lool at this beautiful blouse" the kids go with that. Kids grow so fast, faster than they can wear it out. I am always shocked at how good 50 cent clothing at garage sales look, for kids. Ands even buying new, places like Ross can let you get 5 tops and bottoms for 50 bucks, enough for a whole year. For yourself, stop all purchases now. Use the items in the back of your closet. Make do. Wear holey sweatpants after work. Just buckle down, and make a list, as they come up, of NEEDS. Then shop ahead to meet those needs cheaply.

I just started working again a year ago (after being home for 6) and I think I've purchased about 3 full outfits. I just went to the 80% off sale at JC Pennys and purchased my dd 13 outfits for under 200.00...saved a total of 199.00 this is how I shop. All I need to get her is shoes and school supplies. I still am waiting for that great sale for my ds.

How about utilities-land line, electric/gas/garbage water?

Cable? eating out? Car insurance? Any entertainment? Gifts? Do you pay into a 401k? Do you get income tax refunds each year? I agree that you need to write down every item. Look in your bank statements and try to construct a usual konth, then look for the not monthly items and average them to be per month-for example, car repairs, car insurance/registration, medical, etc.

You are brave to admit where you are, brave to ask for help, and brave to have a bunch of strangers question your habits. Remember we have no desire to hurt you and many of us have been in the same position. Our goal is to get you into less debt and a calmer life. So take anything that strikes you wrong with a grain of salt. Maybe it's a good idea that you just need to ponder, or may it's an idea that can not work with your special circumstances. Just weigh it and move to the next suggestion.

Weclome to SavingAdvice!

I honestly appreciate ALL that is being said here...except the person that thinks I'm some sort of criminal...but thank you all.timetosave

[Ima saver]

Pj.I don't think you did anything wrong. I was just wondering why you didn't use the money for debts or something. I am sorry if I offended you. Your story seems so overwhelming! Have you considered bankrupsy??

[Ima saver]

I apologize again, you did say you used the money to pay off debt. You have convinced me never to sell anything on line, that is terrible what happened to you.

[greedy4chips]

I agree with lrjohnson's statement that you are very brave to have your financial and personal life put under a microscope!

Come up with a solid list of debts owed, min. payment, due date, date you get paycheck, and any other bills you have. List all income. Ask that any holiday gifts be money. Have a rummage sale if you haven't already.

The cell phone almost has to go if you can get out of the contract even with a $150 penalty you honestly cannot afford the extra $83/month.

What is the cost to turning in the lease vehicle? I realize this seems bad, but ask them if you can purchase a $3k vehicle and roll the loss on the lease vehicle into a new loan. You have to sell them on the possibility of you not having the ability to ever pay them their debts on it at the current monthly amt. and by accepting your offer you can swing payments on a 3k + 5-6k loss versus 26,000 lease at any payment amt per month.

I agree to with the grocery purchases. It's time to eat only at home and make it hamburger helper and potatoes with a veggy for the next year. No soda, bottled water, no bottled juice, alcohol, cigarettes, and any other non absolute necessities.

Take a picture of any credit cards and then burn the cards. Its cash only and that is the unfortunate position you are in.

I am not critizing your position, just like you're not arguing with us. I am only giving you the tough love approach you have to take with yourself and your debts.

What do you pay for the internet connection? That could go too for now unless you can validate even a $9.99/month fee. We tossed our long distance service on our phone and replaced it with a calling card from Sams Club for about 2.5 cents per min.

You have to cut to the bone and sell everything you can. When I was a kid our big shopping day for school was at Goodwill and we got 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts. 1 pair of Kmart shoes, socks and underwear. Coats were very cheap ones too.

I survived barely. My dad still apologizes he did not spend more on us and saved less. His income is higher now than before he retired! Good for him.

The next few days are going to be tough for you to come up with a solid plan of attack. You have taken the biggest step so far and the rest will come with time and effort.

We should start a thread for you and only you to update us on your progress. Kinda like you are showing us your progress to not let us down, since it is obvious you have a few people here pulling for you!

Good luck!

[Ima saver]

I am pulling for her too!!

[timetosave]

Originally Posted by taking charge

Well considering you have over $3,000 worth of clothing that has been written off in the charges listed, I would have to say you are not hurting for clothing - you probably shouldn't be needing to wear holy sweats.

I'm not sure why you are being so nasty. This debt has been accumulated over the past 6 or so years...clothing for children is very very expensive. I used the credit because I did not have cash...for the last 6 years I've been home taking care of a disabled husband and an autistic son (who was adopted that way...his twin died because his bio mom did drugs) so I did what I needed to do in order to survive and keep clothing on my children...I do not have an extensive wardrobe nor do I spend all day online shopping...I don't think I've done much online shopping in my entire life...

I do not suggest working e-bay as a second source of income for you, and I do not recommend you going shopping on-line. It would appear that you have a shopping problem, just from what I see listed, and just my opinion.

And why is this because someone else was dishonest? I do not accept checks or money orders but I do have a very small thing started up on ebay now...it is a source of more money and I have several collectables in my home that I really love... but I have to sell in order to get ahead...or just break even...what is wrong with you?

Instead of spending your time looking for things to buy, maybe you can make a game out of how much you can save and how you can get the debt paid off. So the no spend challenge and grocery forums should be important to you.

Spending my time looking for things to buy...oh my G why did I come here?

You need to learn not to spend money that you don't have, and not to feel the need to spend every cent, as in spending the over $5,000 deposited from the e-bay checks.



If you get a deferrment on the student loan, is it? then you should have enough to pay the double payments on why ever it is so high on the car this month and get caught up on that.

On the charged off items - does that mean you have to pay, just not now?

Then next month you can make regular car payments and regular payments on the judgments (what minimum payments are those)?

This is exactly why I did not want to do this...I don't understand why this person decided to attack me...I am putting an honest foot forward to get out of this mess and i get this?

[greedy4chips]

Oops I forgot 1 way to make money.

Donate plasma. You and the hubby can make $50 per week each for 2 donations per week. At least in WI that is the pay. Hope you have a donation site by you.