You know someone with money problem? You can rant about it here!

T_I_N_A20 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-11-2006, 10:13 AM

I made a thread to rent about people who have problem with money but they don't admit it.

This idea came to me when my cousin... She's in her 30's, keeps asking us to lend her money... More like giving her the money.

About 9 years ago, my parents let her stay at our house for a year or so, until she gets her life on track. Her parents has recently kick her out in China because she was so lazy, and she was in her 20's with no job, so she came to Canada to study French, and she sews clothes to get pay, but the pay is peanut... When she found a guy that likes her, she left our house to live with his family, and she thought she'll be rich because the guy she's with went to University, the problem is... He speaks poor English,he knowns how to speak to Mandarin and some poor Cantonese, he wants to make a lot of money but don't want to work too hard, it doesn't look like he went to University because.. Well.. He's an idiot.

When they have their first child, they already have alot of problem with money, they can't even feed themselve, so my parents gave them money to help them, I even saw her boyfriend crying on the phone, asking for support from his family.

A year later... They have a second child... Who the hell will get a second child when they can't even support themselve??!! Who is stupid enought to do that? Their money problem has gotten worst, so my parents keep helping her out whenever they can and she became dependant on us.

Four years until now, she keeps coming to our home claiming she's here to visit my grandparents, we know she's here asking for money, so my grandpa was pretty gullible before to give her the money, but after awhile, he knows what she's up to... She said she's opening a company and she needs 20,000$ more, the next, she said she needs around 4,000$ to buy something. We don't even know what the heck she wants with the money, but my brother and I realized that whatever we have, she wants it... Like we have a pretty big nice house, she wants one... How do we know it ?

My brother overheard her talking and screaming to her boyfriend on the phone saying :

- How come we don't have a lot of money??!! HOW COME WE DON'T HAVE A BIG HOUSE LIKE THEM??!! I WANT A BIG HOUSE!!

One time, she went to our house, she asked my grandpa to lend her 4,000$. When my grandpa refused, she was jumping up and down and screaming : BUT I WANT A HOUSE!!! OH! I can see "my aunt name", she have a beautiful motel, so she must have a lot of money. I go see her! She drove away and heading to my aunt place to ask for money. She didn't know that my aunt is in debt, because she recently bought a motel not long ago.

Another time, that was like a week ago, she calls her and ask my grandpa to lend her 100 000$. Again, my grandpa refused and suggested her to call my mother, because he don't have that kind of money (and he'll never give it to her). So my cousin replied : NOOO!! YOU GUYS ARE RICH!! YOU GUYS HAVE THE MONEY, YOU HAVE A HOUSE, TWO GROCERIES AND A MOTEL!! HOW COME YOU CAN'T GIVE ME THE MONEY!! YOU GUYS ARE SO RICH!! I NEED 100,000$!!!!!!!!!

I just want to slap the hell out of hell.. She makes me so ANGRY that I literaly want to kill her everytime she comes to my house. She took care of my grandma, for a year and she said she don't want to take care of her unless she gets pay, so we pay her, and she doesn't complain much lately, but she keeps asking my grandpa to look at the house she's planning to buy... She was thinking that if he saw the house, he'll buy it for her, but my grandpa don't want to go with her.

She went to the banks to lend money whenever she can so she can buy the house she wants, she asks people around her to lend her the money, her husband now work as a trucker, so he's the only one in the family who works to get food on the table and she doesn't appreciate, she always complaining that his boyfriend doesn't bring a lot of money. She never work in her life except sewing, so she has this mentality that when you work, you have tons of money, you own a store or something, that means you're very rich. It's my parent fault to make her more dependant on us, but we're cutting her off completly, my grandma went to the hospital, so she won't come in our house anymore to take care of her. Now, she's come here a little less often, but everytime she comes, she ask my family to lend her the money, never once was she there to pay a visit to us.

She's also a complete bimbo... I never know anybody as stupid as she is, she asks my brother who's like what? 20 years younger than her to give 50$ to her sons because he's the big brother. She said : Hey You never give any money to my sons? You're the gor gor here, so you should give them 50$ each! My brother was like : No. She was bold enought to put her hand up waiting for him to give the money to her, so my brother yells to the public : OMG! DAD! SHE'S ASKING ME FOR MONEY! All the people around them were staring at her, so she pretended she was just joking.

One time, she bought a bird from outside her house to our house, she wants to give it to my little sister but don't know where to put it, so she put the bird in my brother room and let's the animal fly everywhere. When my brother came back home, my cousin told him that there's a bird in his room, so he has to be careful, my brother was so furious, he went to his bedroom and saw a lot of bird poops and his fishes in the aquariums were all missing. He asked my cousin to find the bird, because he's going somewhere. After an hour or two, he went back home and ask my cousin if she found the bird, she replied: NO! I'm so busy and I don't have the time to look for it... Why don't you ask your uncle outside to help you find the bird?! My brother told her that his uncle is gone and he don't have the time to help him. He asked my cousin to go find it, she refused, so he went to his room, it was a lot worst than it was before, when he finally found the bird, he angrily showed her the animal that she has brought outside. You what's her first reaction ? AAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAH! I didn't bring the bird, it was the kids! I didn't bring the bird! My brother was really furious at her, she grabbed her arm and tried to drag her downstairs to clean up the mess, she pulled his sweater and she said to him if he don't let go she's going to hit him. My brother said : Okay, hit me! She hit him in his chest, until my brother has enought, so he grabbed her head and put it against the wall, and she doesn't stop, she continued hitting him, and he put her in the ground, you know the police style of arresting a criminal. My grandpa saw all that, so he told my brother to let go of her, and he listened, but then all of sudden, she got up and pulled a big knife at him and treathing to put it in his.... *eum* Ahem... You know the guys middle. Luckily, my grandpa stopped all this nonesense.

Anyways the two other paragraphs does not have to do with money problem, just to point it own how stupid she is... Oh yeah, my parents tries to convince her to learn to be independant and make her own money, but she never listen and continue relying on the banks and lending money from people to support her family... More like herself.

Sorry it's long... Need to rent this out so badly.

miclason · #2 (**permalink**) 08-11-2006, 11:47 AM

my grandma used to say: Noone is as deaf as someone who doesn't want to hear...your cousin will never learn because she doesn't want to learn...
My cousin also has money problems and is always looking for a get-rich-quick scheme (she does work hard, but, she is not responsible with the money she makes... I think this comes from the fact that my aunt used to handle the money at the house, but never taught her to manage it-- back when my cousin had a full-time job, she had to give her cheque to my aunt, and then my aunt decided what it got spent on, never telling my cousin how that was to be applied...my aunt used her money very wisely, but, my cousin never had a clue ...)
Now, my aunt died about 6 years ago and, my cousin lost her job about 4 years ago, and now is self employed...so, that means that 1. my aunt is not there to control her spending (which went into binge mode the moment my aunt died!...she was free to buy all the "luxuries" my aunt never permitted her to) and, 2. there's no steady income, no especific date to get paid...some days, she makes nothing, other days $20 and others $80+...so, it's a lot more difficult to "plan" your payments/expenses...I'm not saying it's impossible, but, it requires a discipline that she IS NOT WILLING to get...so, what does she do? she buys expensive food and pays the cable/internet one week, then asks friends to help her with groceries the next one....or, she defaults on payments for which other people (like my sister and myself) were stupid enough to co-sing...she spends $18/month on soda, only she views it as "only" $0.60/day....meanwhile, she doesn't make even partial payments on the $1000 phone bill HER SON (who is nothing but a parasyte!) racked on a line IN MY NAME...so that I'm stuck paying $100/month for the next 7 months (after paying $300 downpayment... which she DID pay, by defaulting on the car payment, which meant that MY SISTER is out $300....) and, my cousin cannot (or won't) see how, being that my sis and I live together and share household expenses, this affects BOTH OF US whenever one of us gets hit financially by her...OH, and the topper is, my niece asked for a blouse (cousin also sells clothes) on credit (BAD, BAD!) from her and, cousin had the gall to collect on my sister (You owe me $8 for C's blouse!)...if it had been me, I would have "discounted" that from the $300 SHE owes my SIS, don't you think??

Whew! that felt good!

rob62521 · #3 (**permalink**) 08-14-2006, 10:38 AM

How many chapters can we write?

We have some friends who both retired. They owe a big mortgage, owe on both cars, just got a home equity loan, eat out about every meal, and then complain they aren't sure if they will have enough money to pay their bills. Yet they continue to spend on their expensive hobbies. We used to go places with them, but finally realized we were doing all the driving! They would help with gas or buy us a meal, but it was wear and tear on our vehicle and we were doing the driving.

Another couple we know are in debt up to their eyeballs, yet don't seem to know how to stop the cash from flowing. They paid for one child's college to the tune of $100K, paid for the other's except this one quit before graduation, and have been paying for this person to live while he finds himself. He was working, but decided to quit since he said he wasn't making any money. They are helping with the apartment, car payment, etc. He drives a nicer vehicle than either of them do. The dad is working two jobs and is frustrated because although he has a college degree, can't get hired in his field or anything close to it. She works and they moved for her job. She doesn't pay the bills and doesn't stop spending. They have a large house with a large yard for the two of them, but he's rarely home because of his two jobs and her job isn't a 9-5 one so she's gone a lot too.So, they are basically trying to maintain two households. She will say they need to save money, but then go spend some. We just listen because they certainly aren't asking for advice.

T_I_N_A20 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-14-2006, 11:28 AM

there's no limit lol... You can post as many as you want.

greedy4chips · #5 (**permalink**) 08-14-2006, 04:35 PM

I have a SIL who is almost as bad, but in some ways worse!

She asks for money all the time from Daddy. Yet still owns 3 dogs, 2 of which were $475 ea. and had to get the 2nd so the 1st had someone to play with. She also has 3 horses and claims to make money breeding them. NO WAY can she make money with the cost of raising them vs what she gets for them.

We bought her Dave Ramseys Total Money Makeover for Xmas, her only gift from us! She never read a page, although her boyfriend has read the book. He has since left her, they had money problems...go figure.

We could go on forever on her stupidity, but it never solves the problem.

Hence, I have added my siggy which sums it up for me on people like her.

Snoopy2645 · #6 (**permalink**) 08-14-2006, 08:28 PM

ok my BIL he bought a house from my MIL they couldnt keep the water or electric on I am positive they werent paying for the house either think MIL let them live thier for free!! Yet they dumped thier kids off here so they could go to casinos!! Had loans on 2 cars!! Always had beer at their house & had one kid after another!! Then they moved in with MIL across country then they just recently bought a house that cost 5 or 6 times maybe more than the one they were trying to buy here & have 2 brand new vehicles!! How long before the crash & burn I dont know but I am sure it wont be long if not already BTW these same relatives hate me because I have been a sahm well now work pt soon back to ft BUT HELLO!!! Its all in how you handle your money & I gave this same SIL & BIL tons of coupons for diapers I would bet they never used a 1

cschin4 · #7 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 05:34 AM

Frankly, I am tired of listening to people whine about their money problems yet they seem to have plenty of money to buy a big screen TV or latest electronic gadget at Walmart or shell out $50 for "Grand Theft Auto" or some other stupid video game. Then, they cry to the gov't and want handouts in the form of taxing those of us who work for a living. Why do I have to subsidize people that won't get off their butts to work? I dont' mind helping the elderly, disabled, etc but there are alot of people that do nothing all day but sit and drink their 6 pack. Anyway, that is my rant for the day!

PrincessPerky · #8 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 07:25 AM

How about a neighbor who can't pay her gas bill (it actually got shut off) yet seems to have plenty of money for pop at the pool? at a dollar a bottle! for pop! that is like rediculous! The lifeguard told her next time give him the money he will run to the store for a 12 pack (4$ for 4 people) I told her to give me the money and I would give her water (filtered) then the next time she is in need of cash I will give the money back! (while we are on the subject children with aspergers should avoid caffine...)

They have a 600$ phone bill from cell phones in PA, they have the water shut off once, the phone shut off twice (at least)and I am cosigned as insurance on the electric bill! I so fear that..I really dread finding out what they have run that bill up to. AC on all day every day...even when they were on vacation! ( I watered the cat so I know) computer on all the time, TV constant, gameboys or whatever the current system is...I just do not get it....I have never had a utility shut off..or anything for that matter...and I only paid late fees when I forget to mail stuff (all auto draft now to solve my mail dementia)

I will give her some credit though, she is learning..or at least learning not to complain about money to me, my husband makes less than hers does..and I know exactly how much 'food/gas/descrecionary' funds I have (447$ a month)....I don't go over it. I don't ask others to cover my cable net or my food for the month..though in her defense I also have a wonderful husband..but even so, don't spend money you dont have!!!!!!

rob62521 · #9 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 08:09 AM

Snoopy, what is it about relatives?

We had some in-laws that I swear were always whining to his mom that this broke or they needed this and that and she would give them the object or the money to buy it. He made good money at a local factory (twice what my husband made) and she made a good income as well. When our stove quit working, we bought what we could afford, but dh's mom told us we should have bought a better one "on time". We didn't whine to her about wanting one; we dealt with our own problem. Looking back on it, I find it amusing -- these folks recently came into some money, but they still complain about not having any. Personally, I don't think they know how to handle money and with mom gone, don't have the luxury of begging off of her.

lillyb · #10 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 09:02 AM

Relatives... writing chapters... Okay, here goes:

You can say everyone in my family spends stupidly. Let's take my oldest sister. They have been 'intending' to buy the home they've lived in for 4 years now, but the MIL is too sweet and has been letting them live there for free. No house payment, must be nice. The husband was never happy with his job, so he's went into business for himself hauling for a sod farm. A decent used semi wasn't good enough, no it had to look nice, to the tune of $900 a month just for the payment alone. Plus, had to finance a fancy quad cab truck to pull their... financed travel trailer. You think that's enough vehicles? Nope, he's also got a Jeep and a TransAm. Sis's car is financed. The hubby doesn't care if he spends $400 on one outfit. One!! Ugh! They spend like no tomorrow... yet complain about money all the time. Even the internet was shut off recently. (Ineternet? That's fairly cheap) Their house is always trashed. Bad. Was told they live in a pig sty, as you can tell, I stay away quite a bit. And the sister let me know that one of her hubbies checks was $8,500. For only 2 weeks!!! Not always like that, but Gees! What I could do with that amount of money! I imagine between the both of them they bring home about $120k

Next, let's go to my other sister. In business for herself, spends like no tomorrow. She's still yet to do her 2005 taxes. And nope, she doesn't have one dime saved to pay. Her books are in such a mess that it's pouring out of every crevice. House mortgaged 100%, not so great interest rate. 2 newer vehicles financed in the past 3 months. Their business is based on a revolving line of credit... that has a 8.25% interest tacked on to it. Add in business building and lot rent, a shop rent because 'the hubby needed a place to work on things', even financed a very high dollar 'toy' to the tune of $700 a month to be able to use.... once a month, maybe? Start counting in all the insurances for everything... She spends like there is no tomorrow, she still isn't saving a portion of her earnings for taxes even though she's feeling the crunch from last years not saving, she is trying to use every receipt as a deduction (some things yes, but she's using personal stuff, too). If it keeps going this way, I don't care how much she's making in her business, she's financed to the hilt. A bad few months and I see bankruptcy in her future. On top of which she wouldn't let up til she got my parents moved over here, the house is in sisters name, so if her business goes down she'll take my parents home with her. Between the two of them I'd say they are earing $135k.

On to younger sister. *sigh* She's a walking time bomb. The girl is an extreme shopaholic. Literally, the rod caved in her closet. She brags that her hubby makes 200k a year, yet bounced a $360 check to pay for their boat storage. This was week before they left to go on a vacay to Mexico... without the kids, of course! Plus, when she got back they were too broke to buy clothes for her schoolage kid for school that's starting tomorrow. She had to put it on a credit card. Along with groceries. Had to finance a toy that was less than 6k, even though they make a ton. Bought high dollar boat, financed of course, but had no place to put it. Drives a top of the line SUV (although only the younger 2 kids and herself are in the thing), but they are changing models so she wants to get rid of it cause she can't stand to drive an older model vehicle. She still owes $25k on the thing! Oh yeah, the fence is falling down in her backyard. Ugh!! On $200k a year!

Then there's me rounding out the sisters. Dh brings in our single income, before taxes $69k. In the last year we paid off $38k in debt. Right now we owe only for our house (which is worth twice what we owe for it) and my student loan. We live on less than half of what our take home is. When daughter goes to college next year she will be going without a student loan, thanks to our planning. We will be able to retire millionaires, and early, if we keep at our current rate (and we're still fairly young). Our mortgage and student loan should be paid off in 3.5 years from now. All done on a modest income.

Mom and dad are pushing 60 (they're 58), both are still having to work, they just bought a house (in my sis's name) that they will owe for another 5 years (which isn't bad, but they sold a paid for home). They have zero saved for retirement. *sigh* They had to buy the house in sis's name cause my mom's always been careless with their income and had terrible credit, dad's never had much to do with the finances and has let her do as she pleases.

I'm just surrounded by idiots. *sigh*

rob62521 · #11 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 09:04 AM

Lilly,

You are making progress in your own life. You can't control the family. Take some comfort from that!

disneysteve · #12 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 09:46 AM

I'm a doctor in a poor neighborhood. What gets me is when patients complain that they can't afford their medicine or their copay but they always have a pack of cigarettes in their pocket along with a stack of lottery tickets. And they come in and sit in the waiting room with the hoagie they just bought for lunch or the bag from McDonald's and the bottle of Coke they just bought at the mini-mart across the street. Many of these people also drink alcohol regularly, sometimes in excess. So how come they can afford fast food, cigarettes, beer and lottery tickets, but can't afford their $15 copay?

rob62521 · #13 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 10:01 AM

Because the copay isn't a priority to them and feeding themselves is. They live for the moment and figure they will still get taken care of even if they don't pay the copay.

I used to be ticked when I would go to Aldi and buy stuff to cook from scratch and see these people with food stamps who did not work buy all the fast food, ready made meals. Here I am working, paying taxes so they get these benefits, and I'm cooking from scratch, using what I could afford. I've been through training on dealing with folks from poverty and it still ticks me off that they buy junk food and want free this and that because they live for the moment. Try to educate these folks and they get mad saying we are trying to take away their rights. So, now I just seethe in silence.

disneysteve · #14 (**permalink**) 08-15-2006, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rob62521

Here I am working, paying taxes so they get these benefits, and I'm cooking from scratch, using what I could afford. I've been through training on dealing with folks from poverty and it still ticks me off that they buy junk food and want free this and that because they live for the moment.

This used to annoy me a lot more, too. But now I realize that by living below my means now, I get to enjoy a much higher standard of living and will be able to retire at a reasonable age and enjoy the remainder of my life. All those folks living for today (whether they are poor or not) and saving nothing for their futures, won't ever be able to retire. I have lots of patients in their 60s, 70s and even 80s who still work full-time jobs because they never saved any money. Even collecting Social Security, they aren't able to make ends meet and have to continue to work. So that "live for today" mentality catches up with them eventually.

rob62521 · #15 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disneysteve

This used to annoy me a lot more, too. But now I realize that by living below my means now, I get to enjoy a much higher standard of living and will be able to retire at a reasonable age and enjoy the remainder of my life. All those folks living for today (whether they are poor or not) and saving nothing for their futures, won't ever be able to retire. I have lots of patients in their 60s, 70s and even 80s who still work full-time jobs because they never saved any money. Even collecting Social Security, they aren't able to make ends meet and have to continue to work. So that "live for today" mentality catches up with them eventually.

True, but those who don't work, don't actually "retire."

lillyb · #16 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rob62521

Lilly,

You are making progress in your own life. You can't control the family. Take some comfort from that!

Thank you, I really needed to hear that.

sakigt · #17 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rob62521

Because the copay isn't a priority to them and feeding themselves is. They live for the moment and figure they will still get taken care of even if they don't pay the copay.

I used to be ticked when I would go to Aldi and buy stuff to cook from scratch and see these people with food stamps who did not work buy all the fast food, ready made meals. Here I am working, paying taxes so they get these benefits, and I'm cooking from scratch, using what I could afford. I've been through training on dealing with folks from poverty and it still ticks me off that they buy junk food and want free this and that because they live for the moment. Try to educate these folks and they get mad saying we are trying to take away their rights. So, now I just seethe in silence.

FYI, I used to work at Publix and any "premade" or heated foods arent able to be paid for using food stamps. The register usually seperates the items out.

Ive had a lot of angry customers with that. "Why isnt that birthday cake covered"

sakigt · #18 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 09:02 AM

Really I try not to get hung up about how people spend their money. Even when my roomate pays me at the last possible second, I have enough funds to cover it anyway.

When people complain they dont have enough to go out and have a good time, I laugh because I make a lot less than they do plus cover a mortgage and still go out. Who says you have to spend more than $10 or so when you do?

I try not to be judgemental, but sheesh. Some people really have no right to complain!

rob62521 · #19 (**permalink**) 08-16-2006, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sakigt

FYI, I used to work at Publix and any "premade" or heated foods arent able to be paid for using food stamps. The register usually seperates the items out.

Ive had a lot of angry customers with that. "Why isnt that birthday cake covered"

Apparently your system was far more advanced than the one at the store I frequented. Since I was standing in line I saw no money change hands -- just the Link card which is what Illinois uses for food stamps.