Did anyone have to give up one or two goals in life due to financial restriction ?

[cschin4]

I really don't kids need all that much. If you already have 2, then you have everything you need for another. Kids don't need to grow up in a large house. I think people go overboard buying huge homes, minivans, etc. I grew up in a small home as did my husband and many others. Kids can share bedrooms. And, that is a great way for them to become closer to each other as well.
I dread the thought of my kids growing up. I don't think I will be able to stand it when they are gone and won't know what to do with myself.

[boefixepa]

This thread has just pointed out to me again that I think and see things differently. The starter of the thread asked have you not accomplish some goal because of finances....I honestly can't think of one. Now there are the goals I have of finding a guy, marriage and children. That is taking longer than I would like, but that involes another persons agency and I can not control that! Now I already have 'back up' plans to adopt if I get to a certain age and still have not found a guy. I know the money it requires and and working on getting in a good financial state if that becomes reality. Now that's me.

Maybe I don't think about so much as sacrifices rather than choices. Personally I'd give up quite alot to have the kind of marriage relationship I want, but I will NOT marry a man that I have to carry through life, I'd rather be single. That's a choice not a sacrifice. I don't feel I am missing out on being married because I know I'd be miserable inside...what's the point.

The original poster said he/she gave up the possibility of owning a house to live in an area that allows him/her more social possibilities. He/she points out that it is a choice and that he/she is happy with that choice. That choice made he/she feels that it is impossible to now own a home. ????

Is that true?? I don't know, maybe for him/her it is. But what I do know for sure is that as long as he/she BELIEVES that it is impossible than it surely is. I think personal belief in what you can accomplish and your internal desire to make those dreams happen plays a large part in it. Maybe that dream has just been...delayed for a while...in the mean time the gears and turning and means and methods are in mental game pool.

Yes, some dreams are just impossible fantacies, we all have them. But I really believe that most people can work to make even seemingly unrealistic dreams come true.

By the way..get for free... if I really felt that I wanted and should have another child and hubby was on board I'd work with what I had to make it happen.

[Ima saver]

Well, I was half way thru my junior year in college when my mother decided to withdraw me from college. I did not have the money to pay to go, and since i was under 21, I was not allowed to sign for my own scholorships. so, I never finished and got married instead. I am sure that affected my earnings for the rest of my life.

[Gruntina]

Boefixepa -

Wow! You really read my thread and took it to meaning.

I see your point and building a "Can do" or "not impossible" attitude is something to work on. But I have to admit it’s really hard to put those thoughts in my head. I live in the heart of Silicon Valley and every suburb cities that goes at least 2 hours commute have the 700,000 to 800,000 dollars price ranges on the medium homes. The cheapest home I found was $388,000 but it was a one room very old and 1 hour and 30 minute commutes to work and located in a very bad neighborhood. I can only get a loan up to 300,000 but still that is a hefty price to pay. CA has really high sales taxes which makes all spending on anything more expensive. A 300,000 dollar home roughly average to $2,500.00 mortgages and that is still too high for me. I do not make close to minimum wage but the amount I make is still considered low income. It seems like you need to make around 100,000 a year to afford a home within your means and more if under your means. I want both a home and children.... I would have to say I rather have children and not work two jobs than to always work for a mortgage.

If I were to meet a man that be willing to learn my language and accept my deafness and the discrimination in life that goes with it, I “may” be able to move to another area with low cost of living and try to get a home there and have children then I wont feel so lonely. But only if the man fully learns the sign language and uses it. If deaf man, more likely he will feel the same and continue to live in the big cities.

Maybe there are information’s out there about buying a home in the area where I live that I just do not know about but it sure is ridiculous here.

[Kirbycruiser]

Had to give up college.

[getforfree]

Originally Posted by cschin4

I really don't kids need all that much. If you already have 2, then you have everything you need for another. Kids don't need to grow up in a large house. I think people go overboard buying huge homes, minivans, etc. I grew up in a small home as did my husband and many others. Kids can share bedrooms. And, that is a great way for them to become closer to each other as well.
I dread the thought of my kids growing up. I don't think I will be able to stand it when they are gone and won't know what to do with myself.

Well, I grew up in a big family/small house, where 4 kids shared same bedroom, and I was the oldest one, I coulnt stand to be at home, and I couldn't wait to move out. It was just too crouded. I don't want my kids to go though same problem. I am closer to my sisters now than I was before. Now we don't have to be in the same room 24-7, so it's easier not to fight. My kids are already sharing a bedroom. If there will be more of them in that small bedroom, I am sure, they won't like it.

I want to make decent income, and I feel underpaid, just because I have to have flexible schedule, and can only work part time, if I don't want to give most of my paycheck to a babysitter. Whatever my Dh is making right now is enough, but we would live paycheck-to-paycheck.

That's why I wan't my kids to be old enough to stay home without a babysitter. And having another one, will make me to put everything on hold for 2-3 more years. Not counting the extra expences to grow a child. If I would be able to afford to stay home, I wouldn't even worry about all that.