"For Women Only"!

[morningloryrose]

I am looking for ways to squirrel money away! You know without the MAN of the House knowing it. It's for Christmas, not anything devious. But I like to be ahead of the game. I do skim the grocery money and a few other little things. Anything else I can do! MGR

[abowers]

Do something on the side for extra money to be your own. Like online surveys. Sell things on Ebay. Etc.

[pearlieq]

I will sometimes put a lunch tab or something on a credit card and ask my friends to give me cash for it. DH never checks the statements, so it's pretty easy to get away with.

There are other innocuous places you could take $10 on your debit card--places like the post office, Wal-Mart, etc.

Rebates, paid surveys, and mystery shopping are a nice way to get an extra $5 here and there. It adds up!

Selling your unused clothes on consignment can be lucrative as well. If he asks why the closet is suddenly more roomy, just tell him you took it to the Goodwill.

Good luck!

[Ima saver]

I had to do that with my first husband, he would have spent every last dime. So I opened a savings account in my name and saved to pay our property taxes every year.

[Broken Arrow]

Why do I suddenly feel so dirty reading this thread?

[morningloryrose]

Good Tips I Hadn't Thought Of Those. Keep Them Comin!

[vsjhoc]

Is it just me? I'm already finding this thread disturbing. Are these DHs so controlling that you have to explain every $10 expenditure? A wife should always have at least one account in her name only.

Ima - your situation was different, but also disturbing, and probably has something to do with why he is now your ex-H.

[morningloryrose]

Oh please don't fell dirty! My husband and I are very happily married. But I would like to have a little money of my own at christmas. I work too. But you know budgets are tight and every penny is counted!

[Broken Arrow]

Well, I can't say that I know of any tips really.

If it has to be off the books and having no paper trail, the first and most obvious answer comes to mind is putting cash in an envelope, and hiding that somewhere.

Naturally, that also means skimming things off the top of any budgets you can get your hands on.
(ex. Buying cheaper groceries, and then asking for some cash back.)

Paying yourself first is also worth considering. Say, taking $10 or $20 out of each paycheck the moment you get paid, saving that away, and then working with what's left over as though that's how much you're really paid.

I just realize that you're (probably) new here. Therefore, it may be worthwhile to consider turning this project into your own forum-sponsored $20 challenge, and join the fun.

[pearlieq]

Originally Posted by vsjhoc

Are these DHs so controlling that you have to explain every $10 expenditure? A wife should always have at least one account in her name only.

Oh no, it's not that at all, it's just sometimes I'd actually like to be able to surprise him with birthday or a Christmas present! That used to be very hard to do when we kept all of our money communally.

Now that we each keep our own pocket money it's easier, but I used to have to be a little sneaky to be able to actually surprise him with a gift. It takes away a bit of your thunder when he can see the charge from Sharper Image when he logs in to check our bank balance (which we both do frequently).

True Story Here--DH and I were first engaged when we were starving college students. We had a lot of love, but not much else. It always killed him that he couldn't afford an engagement ring. His mother was kind enough to lend us a ring, but it was always a sore spot for him.

Fast forward 6 years later. We're older and DH's career has taken off very well. One day a prong on my ring broke and DH offered to take it on his way to work and drop it at the jeweler to be repaired. A few hours later the phone rang--it was Visa asking me to approve an unusually large charge made at a local jeweler! Poor DH tried so hard to surprise me with a grand romantic gesture, and of all people, the Visa Fraud Protection Department ruined it!

I've never breathed a word of this to DH, and managed to act surprised when he presented me with a beautiful new ring later. You just can't underestimate how hard it is for husbands and wives to surprise each other!

[vsjhoc]

Originally Posted by pearlieq

Oh no, it's not that at all, it's just sometimes I'd actually like to be able to surprise him with birthday or a Christmas present! That used to be very hard to do when we kept all of our money communally.

Now that we each keep our own pocket money it's easier, but I used to have to be a little sneaky to be able to actually surprise him with a gift. It takes away a bit of your thunder when he can see the charge from Sharper Image when he logs in to check our bank balance (which we both do frequently).

True Story Here--DH and I were first engaged when we were starving college students. We had a lot of love, but not much else. It always killed him that he couldn't afford an engagement ring. His mother was kind enough to lend us a ring, but it was always a sore spot for him.

Fast forward 6 years later. We're older and DH's career has taken off very well. One day a prong on my ring broke and DH offered to take it on his way to work and drop it at the jeweler to be repaired. A few hours later the phone rang--it was Visa asking me to approve an unusually large charge made at a local jeweler! Poor DH tried so hard to surprise me with a grand romantic gesture, and of all people, the Visa Fraud Protection Department ruined it!

I've never breathed a word of this to DH, and managed to act surprised when he presented me with a beautiful new ring later. You just can't underestimate how hard it is for husbands and wives to surprise each other!

LOL! I guess I've been divorced too long.

[TinyFish]

Why not just each have a set amount of 'mad money' that is not held accountable? Like a montly allowance for each of you? I would think this would be healthy anyhow in case you really want a tiny splurge one day. You can put this to your husband, and point out how hard it is to buy things for gifts without it. Of course, you couldn't buy a huge piece of jewelry or whatever, but it would do for the day-to-day gifts and things.

Also, why not use your own charge card? Then he never sees the statement. I'm assuming here that you aren't buying something so extravagant that he would dissaprove, just trying to make it more of a surprise.

Heck, even in the bad old days, a woman had her own 'pin money'!

Hubby and I are experimenting with a set amount of 'mad money' a month. You can spend it, save it, whatever! How much would vary on your situation, of course. I think it is a good way of handling money for hobbies or interests that are not shared. This way he can buy his Goth-metal CDs, and I can buy things for the garden or whatever.

[CheaplyClever]

SUPER IDEAS!
And welcome to the new folks I see in this thread!

[Kris10Leigh]

Awwwww! That's sweet! I understand too. I can surprise DH...but he can't surprise me. We have a budget for Christmas and birthday gifts though and we have mapped out how much each person gets. For me, I just give him $X in cash for my gifts.

Honestly, rather than being sneaky when it comes to money, even if it is for the right reason, my personal opinion is that you should agree on the amount spent together. Plus, when cash is used, no Visa company is going to call you up!

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, I have my husband's gifts shipped to a friend's house when I do order them. If you need a credit card for ordering online or something, perhaps a friend could help you out. The friend could use their CC and you pay the friend back. (Must have a good relationship with the friend. )

[more freedom]

I am a guy and your secrets are safe with me
LOL

[PrincessPerky]

I use my mother, I get her to buy it, and we have a sortof money owed back and forth. If I send money to her, Dh knows not to ask why

I love to supprise him, but I would avoid all devious things, and I would be honest, I would never lie, but he knows not to ask, and he doesn't lie to me, I just know not to ask...

[rob62521]

I think the mad money idea is a good one. I also take the pennies from my husband's change about once a week. He is glad to have fewer pennies and never asks what I'm doing with them. I put them in a "piggy bank" and when it gets full, I put it in a Christmas Club account. I also put rebates in there and any extra money we get. I guess I don't keep it a secret because we share the Christmas Club account, but it is nice to have money that doesn't have to be accounted for.

[Ima saver]

I handle all the money in this marage, so I don't have to sneak and hide it to pay the taxes on the house. But, it is much harder for my husband to surprise me with anything cause all he gets is his allowance which is used mostly for gas.
He did surprise me with a computer for christmas. He had a friend help him order it in her name, then he got on the dell payment plan for one year, so 3 days after he "gave" me this computer, I got the bill.
That is ok, cause it is all his money anyway.
I am thinking about opening a savings account in my name only because only $100,000 in fdic insured. If the account is in just my name, it will be fdic insured too.
I guess after 30 years, he trusts me!!

[puppypal]

Well, since I am the main budgeter in our home. Hubby is the admitted spender and prefers I handle the finanical things! We do give each of us an allowance. Tiny as it is! Mad money , want money, extra special drinks now and again.....Don't amount to much 20.00 each a week. But I tend to save 50% of it to get those tiny surprises for DH. Sometimes it is something like a 1/2 baskins robins ice cream in his favorite flavor! LOL
I know it don't seem like much. To folks making over fourty thousand a year, but to us it is a wonderful surprise!
But! When you are down to rock bottom basics, it is such a nice treat to slurdge every once in a while!

[Gruntina]

I really enjoy Ima's posts. I share the experience of living with only minimum wage and hearing the success stories from Ima gives me hope!

I know the topic of this post is on a lighter note, but on a heavier note, I wished I had ideas and plans to save my money somehow without my ex knowing. Yes he was controlling and by him being controlling, it made it harder for me to leave. He maxxed out all my credit cards thinking that I would not leave him since I wouldn't have the means to pay the credit cards back and force me to depend on him. I left... with only what I wore that day and took the truck out of there. If I had a better plan, I would have saved for food, motel and gas costs. I survived and only down to the last 15% percent of my credit card debts.

After slaving away for the last 3/4 years paying off the debts with my hard earned money, I finally met a real nice gentleman to be with, working with good people and happy to find this website. I am hoping to listen to tips and advice and a lot of people on here like Ima so I can do the best I can with the money that I will be able to keep and spend on things that will benefit my day to day and future living.

I ask neither to be Rich nor Poor but have enough to satisfy.