"For Women Only"!

[vsjhoc]

I've said it before and ...

Women should ALWAYS have at least one account in their own names. Even if you never get divorced, or nothing ever goes wrong with your marriage, you want to have free access to some liquid assets. You also want to have credit in your own name.

For example: Your husband gets into a terrible accident and is in a coma. You have to quickly come up with a lot of cash for medical bills, or to pay your regular expenses, or whatever. You have a joint bank account, but what if the idiot bank manager thinks he needs both of your signatures to withdraw the money? You are SOL if he won't release the funds.

[Jacklad]

Originally Posted by vsjhoc

I've said it before and ...

Women should ALWAYS have at least one account in their own names. Even if you never get divorced, or nothing ever goes wrong with your marriage, you want to have free access to some liquid assets. You also want to have credit in your own name.

Absolutely - I've seen widows suddenly find themselves with *no* credit rating at all.

Originally Posted by vsjhoc

For example: Your husband gets into a terrible accident and is in a coma. You have to quickly come up with a lot of cash for medical bills, or to pay your regular expenses, or whatever. You have a joint bank account, but what if the idiot bank manager thinks he needs both of your signatures to withdraw the money? You are SOL if he won't release the funds.

Every couple should have wills, powers of attorney and separate medical powers of attorney in place. If there's a trust issue (i.e. you're worried about your spouse cleaning you out) , you can have joint attorneys - e.g. your spouse and your lawyer, a trusted friend or family member.

Jackie

[kealina]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

Well, I'm sure Ima can speak for herself, but I just thought I'd point out that some men are perfectly comfortable with handing their money over to their wives. I have a good friend that does that, but then, the wife is much more financially savvy... and has an MBA.

To be fair, I myself wouldn't hand my money completely to anyone else either. Either I manage all of it, or we manage it together. However, I believe that's a personal preference that would vary between each individuals, eh?

it seems like everybody has already replied to frugalbachelors comment so here's my 0.02 on wives and money... in my familythe men seem pretty comfortable handing it over because the women always handle the money... my grandma handles it (grandpa gets allowance cuz he spends a lot)... grandpa doesn't care. he's got enough money to fly to vegas, buy his employees (he's retired but still stops in as owner) food, go out to eat, and whatever else he needs...
my mom handles it because she is a SAHW to dad's stressful full-time job and he prefers it that way. she has access to his bank accounts and can take money anytime... dad is pretty simple... he works 5 days, fishes 1 day and relaxes 1 day.... mom does everything else.... she takes care of all the household stuff, cooks, cleans, etc...she also does all the shopping. my dad doesn't buy anything except the occasional fishing supply and even then mom might go buy it for him... it's a good thing too since he is one of those people that will go in, pick whatever he likes, and hand over his money... my mom is the frugal one... i do think that is only works like this if you have a certain dynamic and personalities... the wife tends to be frugal, intelligent, and responsible and the guy tends to be easy going and the one who would just spend the money...

as for us, both DH and i are lucky that we agree on our money and can discuss it together... we are both frugal although i think i am more frugal than him... he just saves his money... i try to figure out the best ways to make it work for us...

[Ima saver]

I think the wife should know about handling money. Also, when i got married the 2nd time, I did not put my husband's name on my house. In case something happened, I did not want to lose my house.After a few years (7) we built a house in joint names.

[Ima saver]

I think every husband and wife should have an allowance to spend the way they want. It does not have to be a great deal of money.

[DivaJen]

Originally Posted by FrugalBachelor

I used to give money to my exgirlfriends and am very generous. Just not handing my checks pver to ANYONE.....not even the man upstairs.

It's funny how people view money, and partnerships. Being married is a partnership - if you ever did get married, it wouldn't just be 'your' money anymore, so it really wouldn't be 'yours' to 'hand over'. It shouldn't be about control; it should be about trust, and managing the money to the best of a couple's ability.

With attitudes of control I can see why money can be such a divisive issue in a relationship. How can you be true partners when one tries to control the other?

[Ima saver]

Good point, diva, you can't be true partners. I never think of it as my money or your money, it is our money and i try to handle it the best way for both of us.

[lrjohnson]

Originally Posted by DivaJen

It's funny how people view money, and partnerships. Being married is a partnership - if you ever did get married, it wouldn't just be 'your' money anymore, so it really wouldn't be 'yours' to 'hand over'. It shouldn't be about control; it should be about trust, and managing the money to the best of a couple's ability.

With attitudes of control I can see why money can be such a divisive issue in a relationship. How can you be true partners when one tries to control the other?

One of the closest couple I know, very much long term partners, keeps a lot of their finances separate. When they got married two years ago they didn't change. They do own a house togther in both names, plus are co-owners in another house. But they each contribute half to household expenses. I think for many, separate may be funky and not reflective of a partnership. But there are exceptions for everything. So its up to each member of the couple to decide what works best for them as individuals and as a married/partnered unit. I see these two as having mine and yours and ours. Works for them.

[Ima saver]

lrjohnson, I bet this is an older couple, isn't it? I can understand that. If I were to remarry at my age, I would probably do the same things. I think we are talking about young couples who plan to have families.

[shelbylovesmelby]

When I was banking I saw several of the yours & mine accounts & that's just how some people do their finances. If it works for them why not???

My dh has his own money, more like an allowance for gas & ciggies each week, but it goes to his own acct (I'm joint owner btw).

[pearlieq]

We each have our own weekly allowance. It's mostly just pocket money, so we don't bother with separate accounts for it--we just use cash.

[lrjohnson]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

lrjohnson, I bet this is an older couple, isn't it? I can understand that. If I were to remarry at my age, I would probably do the same things. I think we are talking about young couples who plan to have families.

No, don't bet, you;d lose, they are younger than me. They got together in their early twenties, and married when she was 30, he was 28. They've been married 2 years. They were each other's first "real" boyfriend/girlfriend. I think they'll grow old together.

[DivaJen]

Originally Posted by lrjohnson

One of the closest couple I know, very much long term partners, keeps a lot of their finances separate. When they got married two years ago they didn't change. They do own a house togther in both names, plus are co-owners in another house. But they each contribute half to household expenses. I think for many, separate may be funky and not reflective of a partnership. But there are exceptions for everything. So its up to each member of the couple to decide what works best for them as individuals and as a married/partnered unit. I see these two as having mine and yours and ours. Works for them.

That is somewhat how DH and I function. We still don't have a joint checking account. When we had two incomes we just kind of split up the bills. Now he writes every other check over to me and I handle the day to day stuff. I'm 35, he's 42 and we've been married for 8 years. And we're very much a partnership.

[Ima saver]

Ok, I would lose. We each have a cash allowance to and I never question what he uses his money for. He carries a credit card and knows if he needs anything he can just charge it. After 30 years, you learn to trust each other.

[rob62521]

It's nice to be able to trust your spouse.

When we first got married, that wasn't the case. My husband was still acting like he was the bachelor uncle to his nephew and wanted to buy him everything and give him tons of money. It wasn't until I made him sit down and pay the bills for a couple of months that he realized in order for us to be able to pay bills, he would have to curtail the spending. The sad part was he was really trying to buy the love and attention of his nephew who had basically quit being around him after he entered junior high and it wasn't cool to hang with your uncle.

[Kris10Leigh]

Technically, we have two separate checking accounts, his and mine, but in reality is totally OURS. He has access to mine and vise versa. Our salaries just worked out for this sort of natural set-up we have. All of "MY" money goes into one account and pays ALL the bills and all of "HIS" money goes into a second account and we live off of that money. Plus, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe it is wise for both the husband AND the wife to have their name on a bank account. Otherwise, if one of us were to die, the other would be up a creek.

I feel very fortunate to be in a joint, trusting relationship. We've made our fair share of financial mistakes, but at least we made them together.

[Ima saver]

Even tho he has no interest in money, I put his name on everything we have, bank accounts, mutual funds, stock, etc. No hassles then if one of us passes on! Kris, I understand how you are doing your funds, that is just the way it works for you. When I was first married, we paid bills with my husband's check and just groceries and child care (or private school) with my check.

[DivaJen]

Originally Posted by Kris10Leigh

Plus, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe it is wise for both the husband AND the wife to have their name on a bank account. Otherwise, if one of us were to die, the other would be up a creek.

One thing DH and I did was establish a trust (the legal document, not trusting each other, which we also do ), which helps avoid the above.