paying for your girl friend.

more freedom · #1 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 02:22 AM

I think this is just common sense, but when you go out with your gf or bf, do you always pay the bills?

My gf expect me to pay everything for her.

SuzeOFan · #2 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 04:25 AM

Depends on how serious you are about her.

If you're serious you're thinking marriage.
When married, and as a man, you will be expected to pay for more than just dinner!

If still unsure how serious, why not simply discuss it with her.
Does she work?

PrincessPerky · #3 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 04:26 AM

back in the day when I dated (married now) I expected to be paid for to..partly cause I never had money

(nevermind the details, but I wasn't that stupid with money, just didn't have it)

but also partly cause I was looking for a guy who could handle his money..meaning didn't need me to do it for him, and was capable of saying when enough was ennough on spending...I didn't want a pushover who would put everything on CC just to impress....and I didn't need another chore in my life of keeping track of his money.

on a first date you are prolly gonna pay just cause you are a guy, and the feminist movement may have stopped the old door holding habits, but not the paying for meals ones......

if you are in a semi commited long term thing, than you aught to talk money with her..and see what the deal is..maybe she hasn't any..maybe it never occured to her to pay..maybe she figuresl she is spending her hard earned loot keeping herself looking good for you (makeup ain't free you know) Maybe she just wants to be soiled. Maybe she just likes not having to worry about the money...talk to her about it she will have a better idea than an anounomous person online would

Broken Arrow · #4 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 04:34 AM

I'm sure some will expect you to pay for all of it, but there are some women who are fiercely independant, or have a certain sense of equality, and pay for half or more.

Either way, I would pay err on the side of caution, and budget accordingly as though you have to pay for all of it.

more freedom · #5 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:14 AM

Have you girls ever thought of this... Oh ya, I got him. He is my toy now and he pays whatever I wanted.

I mean I don't want to be her toy.

One thing which was crazy. My ex asked me to buy her a doll for $400.

more freedom · #6 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:16 AM

Thanks to all your responses.
I really appreciate it

sweeps · #7 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:17 AM

IMHO, if the girl demands you to pay for everything, she's not a keeper.

more freedom · #8 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweepsplayer

IMHO, if the girl demands you to pay for everything, she's not a keeper.

We talked about this before.
She expects me to pay everything, but she will buy something back for me (almost everytime). I didn't do the calculation anyway. She is saying when I go out with you I expect you to pay for it.

PrincessPerky · #9 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by more freedom

Have you girls ever thought of this... Oh ya, I got him. He is my toy now and he pays whatever I wanted.

I mean I don't want to be her toy.

One thing which was crazy. My ex asked me to buy her a doll for $400.

Umm yes but I wasn't planning on mrrying him.... (and didn't, just got some free food and a place to stay for awhile)

poundwise · #10 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:37 AM

Ah, one of the last great injustices in the world.

Though these elements are from previous generations, not mine, I grew up believing in paying for the date, opening the door, pulling out the chair, tipping the hat (who wears hats anymore?), etc. You know, old fashioned gentleman stuff. I still do these things today though I've been off the dating market for over 16 years.

But, in today's world. If I were a young man dating. I would likely not be willing to pay for everything. It seems to me that many young women are absolutely spoiled and want to keep it that way. You can bet, if she expects you to pay for everything and constantly buy her gifts, especially expensive items, she'll be the one running up the credit cards and demanding finery if/when you are married as well.

Find someone sensible. If you foot the bill and pay for everything, let it because you want to, not because she insists or thinks you ought to. If she cares for you, her demands will be for your time and affection, not what you can pay for or buy her.

Bookie · #11 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:41 AM

This may be old-fashioned, but I have always thought that if a man invites a woman out, he treats. Presumably, in an era of gender equity the reverse would be true as well.

more freedom · #12 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:44 AM

poundwise!

very very well said!

Luckily I can tell she is asking me to pay to get my attention. Damn, I have been ignoring her. I feel a bit sorry now...

She has 3 jobs. Two part time jobs and one full time job. We both are working like mad. I should spend more time with her.

You guys rock!
Thank you so much for all your suggestions

more freedom · #13 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 05:46 AM

By writing all this posts... making me really want to call her now..

SuzeOFan · #14 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by more freedom

We talked about this before.
She expects me to pay everything, but she will buy something back for me (almost everytime). I didn't do the calculation anyway. She is saying when I go out with you I expect you to pay for it.

I dunno. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but in a dating situation I think it's proper for the man to pay for things. (Not to the point of being taken advantage of mind you! Don't be a sap!) But in reality, it's all part of the mating game.

You want the girl, you'll have to be prepared to pay for it.

more freedom · #15 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:14 AM

You know when my parents were younger, they went doutch....
Mom chased dad first.. Dad always tells me DON'T pay for the girls. HAHA

SuzeOFan · #16 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:25 AM

Are they still together?

autoxer · #17 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweepsplayer

IMHO, if the girl demands you to pay for everything, she's not a keeper.

I agree, that's way too high maintenance for me. I think it should be more of a partnership.

My gf always offers to pay her share, even though she is a student with a part time job. I feel a lot better about paying for it all when I refuse her share, then If I was expected to cover the bill.

more freedom · #18 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:27 AM

Yes!
Always!

sakigt · #19 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:54 AM

At first the guy should pay for the first couple dates.

But if things turn into a longer partnership, things should equal out.

My boyfriend and I split costs. Ill buy one night, hell buy another night.

boefixepa · #20 (**permalink**) 07-14-2006, 06:57 AM

As a single girl out there this is my opinion on the matter.

If he askes me out I expect him to pay. If I do the asking I am willing to pay (how do I know they have money for the date). However, if they offer to pay I will graciously accept.

If we continue dating past a few dates, then yes we can talk about it and I don't mind splitting the cost 50/50.

If a man wants to go out and he asks me and expects me to pay...then there is a problem.

I don't mind going on inexpensive dates, in fact I generally enjoy them more. Movies are expensive nowadays and even DVD's at home are two hours of watching, but not really getting to know the person. I'd much rather do an activity that requires more one on one involement.

And I'd love the opportunity to cook a home made meal for someone and help them with yard work I enjoy, or them helping me refinish my table, or something like that.