good relationship tips?

markio26 · #1 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 03:20 PM

i was commenting in my blog about today being my 32nd wedding anniversary.. so, here i go brainstorming.. what are your tips for any sort of good relationship... i think some honesty, love, admiration, respect, financial goals that match enlighten the whole process... do tell....

Trillian · #2 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 03:22 PM

Add to the list: Time together and time apart, both!
Things enjoyed together, things enjoyed apart, both!
Friends in common, friends individually, both!

Ima saver · #3 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 03:38 PM

Well I agree Markio with all you said. I also think the fact that we spend every evening together is very important to us. We try to have a date every night!

jodi · #4 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 05:30 PM

A good sense of humor...you have to be able to laugh at yourselves and at life sometimes. Respect, above all else...without it, there's not much motivation for the rest (honesty, kindness, empathy, etc.) The ability to work together toward your goals.

JoyJoy · #5 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markio26

i was commenting in my blog about today being my 32nd wedding anniversary.. so, here i go brainstorming.. what are your tips for any sort of good relationship... i think some honesty, love, admiration, respect, financial goals that match enlighten the whole process... do tell....

CONGRATULATIONS on your 32nd wedding anniversary!!!

Wow that's quite a milestone.

Honesty and mutual respect are high on my list. Listening is a close second and really could be 1st on my list as well. Being flexible and not making a big issue out of things like picking up his things instead of telling him "Hey, you left your clothes on the bathroom floor!!!". LOL. I just pick them up and keep stepping because I know he doesn't do it all the time.

shengmei · #6 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 06:20 PM

Here are two good websites if you are married.

www.smartmarriages.com
www.marriagemissions.com

markio26 · #7 (**permalink**) 05-28-2006, 07:15 PM

thanks for the comments/information and the links... tell me more............................

tgavin71 · #8 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 02:00 AM

Here here. I agree totally with all of the above. The one point I have to add is that hubby and I knew that we would work out when we were comfortable in the silence. Not having to say something just to fill in the void.

lrjohnson · #9 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 12:41 PM

I believe separate time is critical. I want both of us to have interests and friends outside of each other. We spend a lot of time together, but if he spends a night out with his friends, I am more than happy to have some alone time.

Ima saver · #10 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 01:37 PM

WE enjoy each other's company a lot. When we first married, we were eating breakfast at a Holiday Inn. I saw a couple eating there and they never spoke one word the entire time. I said, if we ever come to that, we should not be married anymore. Married means being happy to me!!

lrjohnson · #11 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 02:03 PM

Tgavin, I agree. I enjoy his company, and that means even just being quiet in the same room. And, if spend any time apart, we have more to talk about when we are together. I like not being attached at the hip.

I know other couples who like to do everything together. I think that's a-okay, as long as they don't think I'm weird for having separate interests. I think the key is having a partner think the same way.

funnyvalentine · #12 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 05:31 PM

If you're on your 32d anniversary, you must have a plan!

I think that I get along with my s/o because we respect each other's goals, have similar financial outlooks, are kind to each other, and well, great you know what doesn't hurt. I can't speak for him, but I am grateful to have met him, and I think we treat each other as gifts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by markio26

i was commenting in my blog about today being my 32nd wedding anniversary.. so, here i go brainstorming.. what are your tips for any sort of good relationship... i think some honesty, love, admiration, respect, financial goals that match enlighten the whole process... do tell....

veronak · #13 (**permalink**) 05-29-2006, 05:53 PM

I think Mario you hit it in a nut shell, with honesty and trust you definately can't go wrong

PrincessPerky · #14 (**permalink**) 05-30-2006, 07:45 AM

congrats on 32!

I think along wiht honesty is biting your tounge, it might be honest to say that an outfit looks terrible but it isn't' likely to help...

I also think a lot of patience...DH and I have many things we both need to improve on, it isn't my job to 'fix' him any more than it is his to 'fix' me, but we are both supportive of each others goals, and willing to be a reminder, but not a nag.

And along with that is a lot of forgiveness..so what if he said something not quite loving, I have done it too, we will be here for the rest of our lives do I really want to hold a grudge that long? (actually I think he has to forgive me really, he is wonderful!)

Oh and one thing I read when we first got together, keep your dirty laundry home! Meaning don't go airing you fights should you have any in front of company..makes everyone uncomfortable.

Fern · #15 (**permalink**) 05-30-2006, 08:56 AM

Tolerance. Understanding. Compassion. Respect. Honesty. Shared world outlook.

markio26 · #16 (**permalink**) 05-30-2006, 09:01 AM

we are sweethearts, my spouse and I... we disagree and then sleep on it.. and then we find a solution.. he just got dsl from vz for the ki home.. i wanted credit for the 4 months that we are on vacation.. he called vz and they said okay... problem solved...and we have seperate interests.. we travel to our different locations, together and seperaely... and we spend time alone...and together... and pp is right..don't air your dirty laundry to other ppl..
thanks for the wonderful comments and congrats statements... yes, we do have a plan, 32 years is a long time... the plan is to move to nc.. and vacation in fla. every year.. and to time it just right, so, we both are ready for the move.. celebrate your birthdays, anniversaries, mother's and father's days.. it helps add support and recognition of each other to your marriage.. and if you can learn to read your spouses mind... tell him what he wants to hear... i tell my spouse he is the best looking guy on ki... and when he tells me about another woman coming on to him.... i tell him i don't blame her, i would want you again too... you know bs like that men are all physical in the brain.... lol..

PRICEPLUS · #17 (**permalink**) 05-30-2006, 08:54 PM

Work on it constantly. Marriage is not for cowards. 18 years as of May 28!

markio26 · #18 (**permalink**) 06-20-2006, 11:31 AM

lately, i cannot communicate with my spouse... he gets all nerveous and shuts down.. he is working at laf and i think he is on 4-12 hr. shifts this week... i kinda stopped telling him things, he acts childish, and selfish... traits i do not admire.. anyway, i want time off from trying to be the peacemaker and referee all the time... lol.. silence is golden i tell you....

cschin4 · #19 (**permalink**) 06-25-2006, 11:03 AM

I have found that just keeping my mouth shut when I would rather not works wonders! Took me awhile to learn this! And, we both have been more accepting and forgiving over the years of each other's faults and weaknesses.

JoyJoy · #20 (**permalink**) 06-25-2006, 11:29 AM

DH has been retired almost a month now. Our decision to split up the bills has worked wonders!! DH went and bought a ledger to record all his expenditures and is doing a really great job! It helps to comment on what a good job he is doing too! I knew when he was working that he did not have time to command all his employees and then come home and do the bills too. Now he feels he is still useful and appreciated! I feel everyone should be able to handle their own money at times.....it depends on your own situation and the agreement the two of you are comfortable with. Telling him that he looks and smells good too when he really does! We greet each other with "Hi Beautiful" and "Hi Handsome"! We have done this all eight years of our marriage. (He is a very handsome man!!)

Life is good!