good relationship tips?

[funnyvalentine]

i have found, with us at least, that it i had to review what i thought of as signs of love. I used to think i needed to hear the words, and when he couldn't tell me how he felt, I got frustrated. He explained to me that his parents never told the kids they loved them; they showed it by how they took care of them....
he is very good at that; he goes with me when I marry people (i'm a minister) and he'll drop anything to help me if I need it. For my birthday, he bought me, yes, perfume, but also a cable that links my computer to a monster speaker so I can hear music at top decibel.
In return, I buy him exotic spices and fruit, because he likes to cook, and save him articles i think he'd like...just reminds both of us that we really listen to each other.

[PrincessPerky]

I like that bite toung thing, but be careful you don't keep quiet when someone really wnats to 'hash it out'

The other night we were having a disscussion, and I said 'nevermind' of course that never works!

I took a deep breath, thought, used a couple 'filler words' (umm ok, ect) then I said, we can talk about the whole details later, but I don't know how to explain it, "here is my last try for the night X....Y....Z." (the XYZ would be the details)


Make sure the X Y and Z contain no err...color, no need for names, reminders of anyones fault. or not faults. Just the facts maam.

It worked, he understood that I was trying to explain something, he realized it was hard, and he figured he was close enough, anyway not worth getting mad over not understanding..but if I had walked off in a huff that he didn't get it and I quit it would be a problem still. instead it was my best ditch effort and he was ready to take it. That prolly doesn't make much sense....

[SuzeOFan]

Congratulations! Wow 32 years ....must be doing somethin right~!




Everyone's right! But it could probably be said in one line...


Have your eyes wide open before marriage ....and half shut afterwards!

[Roupey03]

Well I am surely not expirienced as most on this board when it comes to relationships, but my gf and I have known each other for a little over 3 years now. First year we couldnt stand the site of each other. Then we became friends, best friends, after about a year of spending every day together and never really pursuing a relationship, one late night it happened, the kiss. Ever since we have been together things are great and getting better by the minute. We are now doing the long distance thing. She moved about 2 hours away. I thought this would be devasting, but really it has been a blessing in disquise.

We have learned how to trust one another, communicate, and balance seperate lives while still being together. I feel like our relationship and love for one another has grown tremedously.

[lillyb]

A friend of dh's asked that we call him if we 'go out' cause he wanted to start hainging around people with a good marriage/relationship (hoping it'd rub off, I guess). To this the hubby replied that we rarely 'go out'. We don't need to go out cause we prefer to hang out with each other. We generally enjoy each other's company and have no need to have to be entertained to be happy. So true, I'd much rather be with the hubby, even if it's dining in and watching a good movie together, than going out with a bunch of people to a place with even more people.

That and the man cracks me up. He's so darn silly, I can't imagine life without him. He can't just let a song be played in it's entirety without him making his own variation, usually something (sung in his severly off key voice) about his love of me.

I can roll out of bed with my hair standing on end, makeup smeared around my eyes from not washing it off the night before, be wearing a stain on an old huge tee shirt and the guy still says 'Good morning beautiful!' and means it.

It's not the major big things, it's all about the small every day things.

[Ima saver]

Never ever lie to each other. I can not stand a dishonest man!

[BCHGRL]

Congratulations on your 32-yr marriage!

Well, I've only been married for 2 months, but we've been together for nearly 5 years.

My parents will be celebrating 30 years next May. What I've learned from my parents is that a successful marriage means loving your partner for who they are and not who you think they should be. Also, marriage means support - having a united front.

[markio26]

THANKS EVERYONE!!! for all of the comments.... we married very young, and without all of the hoopla going on today...so, i think we sorta grew up together, enjoying the seasons of our lives.........i think pp is correct in keeping the mouth shut... i hummmmm before i say something back.. lol... i think that the woman has to wear way too many hats in a marriage and her various relationships.....i find that i am way too bossy.... i like organization and safety... so, i speak up... annoys spouse... but, everyone else understands this... less clutter, happier home.. no eating, drinking, talking on cell phone in the car for the driver.. spouse likes to do this.. drives me mad.... and he always gauks around looking in ppl's back yard to see if they have junk for sell, while driving.. i try to be the driver if i can... lol.. me on the other hand, i crochet, do coupons, check my grocery list, read a book, magazine, talk on cell phone, eat, drink, chew bubble gum, listen to cd's, watch dvd's while i am the passenger.. he doesn't talk much.. so, i have to feel in the gaps... lmao...too funny......... i still love him.. i think my marriage has turned from passionate to compassionate..........this seems to be true of our friends marriages..........i am blessed to have a wonderful spouse and good looking too.. no gray hair and he is younger, and looks like paul mcCartney alot.

[vsjhoc]

When I was 21, my mother was dying of breast cancer. I asked her what advice she would give me on my wedding day, since she wasn't going to be there whenever that day arrived. She said that marriage is a partnership; it is something that you have to work at. She was right.

[markio26]

i tell you, anymore i run my marriage like a business and it works out better for both of us... playtime, datetime on friday nite, etc.. we even go out for coffee at mcd's and have business meetings away from home... i take my portable home office in my briefcase....sometimes the change of scenery helps me think....

[lucasrd]

women need LOVE from their man
men need RESPECT from their women

God MADE women to LOVE their man (it says so in the bible)...so it stops at respect with the man because he knows his woman will always love him.

Show your man a little respect, and he'll be itching to do anything for you. tell him thanks often...boost his ego, tell him how much you appreciate the things he does... it works he'll be doing so many loving things after that you won't know what to do with yourself.

[Ima saver]

One of the most important tips I ever heard was in a Dear Abby's column about 30 years ago. The tip was, "Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire!"

[JoyJoy]

Originally Posted by lucasrd

women need LOVE from their man
men need RESPECT from their women


Show your man a little respect, and he'll be itching to do anything for you. tell him thanks often...boost his ego, tell him how much you appreciate the things he does... it works he'll be doing so many loving things after that you won't know what to do with yourself.

AGREE!! AGREE!! AGREE!!!

[markio26]

i appreciate all of the comments... i tell him he is the best looking guy on the island too......and he is...

[markio26]

Spouse Likes To Listen To Me Talking With My Pals, Then He Researches What I Say And Corrects Me In Private... Example.. I Said The Circus Is Coming To Town On The 7th, 8th, 9th Of July.. He Looked It Up On The Net, And Then Told Me It Was August... He Is Way Too Nosey... So, I Will Make A Game Out Of It.. I Will Throw Some Stuff Out There He Will Have To Spend Hours Researching... Loll.

[markio26]

i started spending money, i bought a new vehicle.. suddenly, spouse is more attentive, smiling, nicer... go figure.......................................lol.. ..............................

[rusty@saving]

i have no advice, only learning to do! i am getting married in 1 year, so keep the advice comin.
congrats on 32!

[Keritsubo]

Trust and enjoying each other... the later may not be all the time, you know, couples have tiffs its true. But enjoy your time together, the little things. I dated long distance for 2 1/2 years, seeing my sweetheart only once every 3 months. Trust was never an issue, it was a given. But now I find the distance helped too because, I think of how I enjoy not being alone in my car all the time. Dinner isn't just something that consumes time, its for each other. Little things... little things that can slip the mind so easily.

I'm sure there is lots more and so much great already said but one more thing I like more than anything... hugs. Hugs say a lot. Kisses are great too but hugs also give a sense of security and support as well as love. Its a silent vow, that you love them and you'll shield and hold your s/o up if you had to.

[Broken Arrow]

Woah. Markio... all this time, I thought you were a guy too!

This is insane!

[Ima saver]

I spend a lot of time listening to my husband and his problems with his jobs. He needs someone to let off steam to and I enjoy hearing about his day.