Are your friends frugal?

[Dido]

Hmmm, interesting to see that *most* people here are saying that no, their friends are *not* frugal.

I would say that most of my friends--at least the ones I'm socializing with these days--are frugal. I do have several "work friends" from a former job who are much less frugal than I am, whom I still talk to occasionally and consider friends, but whom I don't actually go out with much these days.

The friends whom I socialize with these days are frugal in the "simple living" sense--they are people who are concerned in living in line with their values. Most of these people are either already at or nearing retirement and have had well-paying careers, and most of them have considerably more discretionary income than I do. What this means is that when we socialize, most often we do things that are fun and don't cost a lot--potluck dinners, blueberry picking in the mountains, going for walks or bike rides, having a knitting group. But because my friends have more income, they'll talk about their world travels--something I would love to do, but can't afford to at the moment--and occasionally events come along which I am invited to but can't afford. Once I was invited to go along when a friend of my friends was doing a show at a local restaurant. Nobody thought to mention to me that there was a $45/per person price fixe dinner that went along with the event! That's an amount of money which my friends can afford to spend for dinner that I cannot. I remember to ask about associated costs now before making a commitment! Because my friends' income is more than mine, I have to think about costs more than they do. But those kinds of events come along rarely.

On the opposite side, I have considerably more discretionary income than my boyfriend does, and I know that this generates the same kinds of tensions in the other direction. But it's been very helpful to me in downscaling. In particular, one of my passions is dining out at ethnic restaurants. I press DBF much less to go out to these than I used to. And while the first year we were together, we bought each other more spendy gifts (I spent about $160 and he spent about $40), now we pretty much just agree to set aside a bit more time to spend with each other and forgo the gift exchange altogether. The best thing he can do for me is to help me with (and teach me how to do!) minor home repair/maintenance that I would otherwise have to hire a handyman to do, and in return, I do his taxes every year and cook for him a lot more often than he cooks for me. (I'm glad we had that first year, though: the $160 was for a thick down comforter and duvet cover set which he'll be using for the 10th winter this coming year....definitely a big improvement in his comfort level and a large expense well worth the price!

[rob62521]

I would say the majority of my friends are not frugal. It's kind of depressing because it's difficult to talk about things because the bulk of their conversation is what they've bought or what they are going to buy. Yet, this one couple in particular, both retired recently, don't have their house paid off, owe on both cars, just got a home equity loan to do some remodeling, but said they didn't think they could have us over for a cookout with hamburgers and hot dogs because they needed to cut back.

As for some of the other posts, yes, it's disgusting when people don't save anything and feel they are entitled for financial help when things get too rough. It's one thing if someone gets struck by a sudden, devasting illness or had an accident and everything is wiped out due to cost. But to live high on the hog and then whine when they don't have the money is ridiculous. Yet, so many in society do just that. At my school, I've had parents come in and demand that I buy their kids pencils, paper, school pictures, etc. because they are in poverty. These are the same parents who have gold jewelry, big newer cars, big screen t.v.'s, and just went out and bought junk food again (or liquor). We've created a nation of folks who have a false sense of entitlement and are not responsible for themselves.

[Dido]

The place where I really see a discrepancy is between myself and my sister. I live across the country from her and my mom, and it's really hard to find activities that are mutually enjoyable for all three of us. My mom and sister love to watch reality TV; I don't watch TV at all. My sister loves to shop; I don't. I love exploring ethnic restaurants when I go out to L.A.; my sister has germ-related phobias that are at their worst when she dines in a restaurant. We both used to like to hike, but her knees have been done in by arthritis so she can't anymore. She reads the fashion magazines and buys expensive jewelry; I could give a whit for fashion and virtually the only jewelery I wear is cheap earrings. It's really hard to find common ground to talk to her other than about relationships.

[Ima saver]

Iknow one of the couples that we built a house for told me she was amazed at how well we did since she knows exactly what my husband makes for a living. She and her husband make about triple that and gone on fancy trips 4 or 5 times a year!

[rob62521]

Sometimes it isn't what you make, but what you do with it.

[mariec99]

I had to drop two married friends becasue of their ridiculous cheapness. I'm all for not wasting money, but they were ridiculous and rude about not spending money and sticking me with bills.

[rob62521]

That's where cheapness costs more in the long run. I have a friend like that. He hardly ever buys anything new unless he absolutely has to. He won't go out with friends because it might cost him something whether it is money or time. I'm not talking fancy restaurant or bar -- I'm talking a cup of coffee. His shoes have holes in the bottom of them so he just puts cardboard inside. He makes decent money and always talks about retiring early. But I don't think he invests. He did penny stocks a few times and lost his shirt! I think he's going to wind up a lonely old man because he's so cheap with his time and his money.

[sakigt]

Well I was happy to see a group of 10-15 of my friends being frugal when we went to a local baseball game.

They used one of my coupons for 2 for 1 tickets by pairing up.

They stood in line for $1 beers multiple times instead of buying a large one for $6 once.

And they made sure to minimize the number of cars to save gas and parking money.

I was pretty amused by it all

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by rob62521

His shoes have holes in the bottom of them so he just puts cardboard inside. He makes decent money and always talks about retiring early. But I don't think he invests. He did penny stocks a few times and lost his shirt!

How very odd this person is. To be so cheap... and yet to have invested in something so aggressive. To suffer so unnecessarily now, for what kind of gains later on in the future? And through what investment strategy, if any?

[rob62521]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

How very odd this person is. To be so cheap... and yet to have invested in something so aggressive. To suffer so unnecessarily now, for what kind of gains later on in the future? And through what investment strategy, if any?

My friend wanted to retire early, I guess. Well, he's over 50 so his penny stocks weren't successful. I think he figured the stock market was a good place to make money because his dad invested in stocks, but not penny ones. He invested throughout his lifetime and made a tidy little nest egg.

He used to date someone, but she finally told him farewell because his idea of a date was she would make dinner, and then, if they went to a movie, it was dutch treat. That's why I think he's going to be a lonely old man one day.

[Broken Arrow]

Penny stocks are extremely aggressive. So much so that I think people who promote them as a quick ways to earn big money should be labelled as scam artists. And as for this....

He used to date someone, but she finally told him farewell because his idea of a date was she would make dinner, and then, if they went to a movie, it was dutch treat. That's why I think he's going to be a lonely old man one day.

Yeah, I think he's going to be pretty lonely indeed!

[Ima saver]

Well I have already admitted that we have friends who throw parties that cost over $5000 each party.

[rob62521]

Broken Arrow,

Thanks for the quick explanation on Penny Stocks. I figured they were bad news for someone like me, especially after my friend really lost his shirt. I feel sorry for him because he's a nice man, but a lot of his life is what he makes of it.

[LuxLiving]

Of course you, my friends, all are frugal - you're here aren't you!! Silly Silly friends!!

[Ima saver]

Yes, I think we are all friends, and all pretty frugal!

[JoyJoy]

Only 1. She makes George Washington holler causes she squeezes him so hard.