Are your friends frugal?

[becomingafinacialgrownup]

I have a several that are very frugal but I have one that absolutely drives me insane!!! She is always belly aching about how poor they are and how they can't afford this or that. The next breath she is talking about spending 80 dollars on a perm and where they went out to eat this day the other day etc. and about the movies they went to that week.Her husband also has a very expensive hobby that *must* be manintained. They have to have the biggest cable package offered etc.New c;othes all the time.They both have good incomes and could do quite nicely.

I admit I have my weakness but this is just CRAZY!It's all about appearances. We rarely go to the movies,we wait for dvd. We live in handme downs,clearance rack and thrift store clothes and look quite nice.I'll quit ranting now!

[baselle]

Most of my friends are rather frugal, but its hard to tell. We all tend to gravitate toward cheap thrills once in awhile. We've also had intermittent rounds of unemployment so we all treasure our emergency funds, etc.

Co workers are probably another matter, but at least everyone there has the good sense not to brag.

[BCompDude]

My friends aren't really of the frugal mindset; however, when I ask not to go to the uber expensive rib place for a meal and go to say Denny's instead they don't mind, in fact they heartily agree and then tell me they really don't have the money for an expensive meal anyway. After all of the time we have spent together they still feel the need to try to impress me/other people when we are out! That is insane and I frankly don't understand it a bit.

I'm not certain that I would fit the frugal mindset either. I go out to eat semi-frequently with friends etc. when the opportunity presents itself. I buy very nice looking clothes (albeit at really good prices, usually half off mall prices). I buy the more expensive health car products such as Paul Mitchell (their Tea Tree shampoo is absolutely amazing!). I go out to see movies quite a bit. I buy quite a few cds (albeit at 5.99 a piece). I buy the best food for my kittens (Eukanuba) that consists of Chicken rather than corn or rice--likewise for their health care, the best

To the outside world I'm not certain I would appear frugal, often times people ask me how I "do it". But I save/invest over 60 percent of my income and have ZERO debt of any sort. Could I save more? Sure, but you can get too caught up saving a few dollars and depriving yourself of any reprive from your daily life. A dangerous situation indeed. Memories and enjoying the moment are equally important to me as my portfolio, even more so.

[Ima saver]

My best friend is not frugal at all. She gets the $80 perms, buys presents all the time for other people and has not owned a house for about 30 years cause she can't afford it. She has gotten in trouble with money many times and only kept her head above water because of her church. Her husband had a heart attack and the church paid their rent, car payment, utility bills, food, everything, for months.
I have tried and tried to advise her and she won't save a dime when they do have good paying jobs. They will have to work until they die!

[pennywise]

Dear Ima Saver:

These are the exact people who deserve not help. I am sick and tired of these mooches off society. Their ignorance should be felt in their bones (cold due to no home) and in their stomachs (no food). No one should help people like this. There are truly people out there that need help and have tried their best to do everything they can. They need help. Just like the heat people wanting us to donate our money so others can have a warm home while mine is 55 degrees. Forget, work for what you get. NO WORK NO HOME NO FOOD, period. Be aware charities are tax writeoffs for the people who start them. You work to provide their hobby. A charity head can make $200,000 per law and this does not limit the perks. Stop giving your hard earned money away, only a fool would do that when they know they have retirement or a possible illness/disability could happen to them

Sorry I am so rash, I am angry!

[shelbylovesmelby]

one of my friends is and my aunt & mil are. In a way I'm glad they are. Though on the other hand they are so cheap half the things they buy used should go in a donation bin. My aunt won't buy anything @ a rummage that's more than .25! But then tell me about a Pooh outfit she saw for my baby but it was .50! Now that's too darn cheap!!!

though one friend does try to pass herself as frugal by telling me a few months ago that my dh should of bought me a "beater" van like hers instead of a new one. But we prefer new-newer vehicles, our most unfrugal thing. Anyways she's the friend who needs to be more frugal by cancelling half the services they have. She's forever telling me they are going to sell their house (wich was pruchased from her parents in her bf's name probably cause she's a bad credit risk) and build a new one in a few years. How does one expect to do that when they are behind on their regular bills???? Whereas we are current or even ahead and can't do it. DUH DUH...

[Ima saver]

Pennywise, i agree with you, the church should not have helped her out. Her husband has had about 50 jobs in the past 25 years, he gets let go all the time. She does not want to work, she wants to do volunteer work for the church.
Her phone bill used to run about $300 a month cause she talked long distance so much and you can't get off the phone with her. She and her husband both have cell phones, I don't. She is always getting her hair done, I don't.
I tried to talk her into saving even a small amoount of money every week, and she said that was not worth her time.
She let the church pay all her bills for close to a year. She has borrowed from everyone and of course taken food stamps, but wouldn't go and get a job.
She and her husband have finally taken jobs but if something happens, they have no savings to fall back on.

[flash]

Friends are a mix. Family, agh, frugal for themselves, but somehow always expect DH and I to pay the restaurant bill or buy the great gifts they hint for. That's the hardest for me, I'm frugal with myself, but with others I am a softie.

[Ima saver]

I am no good at telling people no. That is why my daughter hit us up for money for practically every month after she left the house. She never could pay her electric bill but she had an entire box of sweaters in her house. I am talking refrigertor box with just sweater for her!! Talk about wasting money.

[Lostsoul33]

None of my friends are frugal. Some of them definetely should be as they are experiencing hard times. Their bank accounts are running into the negative constantly.
Nobody in my family is frugal and they've told me that I'm funny because I send away for freebies. I think they're convinced that I need the freebies. Not the case at all. I just don't want to pay for stuff that I can get for free.

[frugalfarmwife]

No, most aren't frugal at all and laugh at me, but I can at least sleep at night and know that all the bills are covered before the next paycheck comes in.

Kj

[Ima saver]

I am on a local forum where I live and I am one of the oldest ones on the forum (I don't feel or look as old as I am)
I try to get conversations going all the time about money and saving and no one wants to talk about it at all. Yet they all admit that they live pay check to pay check and have no savings at all. I can't understand why they won't take my advice when I tell them to pay themselves first. all I get back from them (and I have met them) is "you can't take it with you" I don't want to, I just want to be comfortable while I am here and not have to rely on social security of about $400 a month to live on.

[frugalfarmwife]

No, you can't take it with you but you can cash it in and live your retirement in luxury which I plan to do! Watching my best friend scrape and knowing that it's going to be that way for the rest of her life makes me sad but it's her choice, I meanwhile look to the future with every nickel saved

[Ima saver]

That is the way my best friend is too. The nicest place she has lived in was a new mobile home and she had to let it "go back" (repo) when she moved to Fla. She has paid rent for like 40 years and owns nothing but a few sticks of furniture.
She gets mad a me when I say I can't afford something. Of course, I could afford it if I wanted to, but I don't chose to afford it.
Once I held the mortgage on a piece of property for $35,000. After a few years, the guy paid me off and it was a surprise. I went to work the next day (I was a waitress) and said, wow, I just got a check for $33,000.
One girl said, wow, now I bet you will buy a new car. They were dumbfounded when I told them I was going to put it in the bank and save it!!

[Ima saver]

We have some friends we built a house for( they became friends after we built the house.) They just retired here and he is getting a pension of over $100,000 a year plus he gets social security on top of that. Even so, they have a budget and they stick to it. They very seldom eat out, but they do travel a lot.
When we retire, if ever, we will have to live on our savings!

[CJsoccerchic]

Ack - isn't it crazy to have friends that have everything they want (or seem to) and complain ALL day long about how broke they are?
I brought a friend with me to a trip somewhere and initially I paid for everything and told her to just pay me back $150 as soon as she could. She met a guy there and they married 6 months later. She get's her hair colored all the time, seems to have new clothes all the time and is now pregnant so buying clothes for the soon to be new born. All the while, has to pay $600/car payment monthly $100/monthly insurance for car and I think they eat out all the time. I've tried being frugal in front of them and it doesn't seem to help.... it's hard to tell friends what thye should do and what they shouldn't do. oooo an she finally paid me back, almost a year later. yay!!

[Ima saver]

Loaning money to friends is a good way to lose them. We built a house for a young doctor. she went shopping every day, major shopping . They leased 7 cars in one year. I sent them a final bill for a retaining wall for $1400. They did not have the money to pay for it, and since it was in our name, we paid for it. It is not what you make that counts, it is what you keep.

[dwallyfam]

We have several friends that are living paycheck to paycheck. They are always going out to eat and traveling. They wonder why we stay at home. Duh it is cheaper.

[Ima saver]

We do eat out a lot, but we didn't when we were younger. We stayed home and made due. for many years, I even worked at nights, so I guess we are making up for it by going out to eat at night and being together. It is our date! However, we still usually order the cheapest thing on the menu.
My friends always get appetizers, desserts, etc. We eat out, be we are frugal.

[him&her]

Some are, some aren't.

We have a friend who runs a business and we know he rakes in more than $100K/year. We know he's smart with his money. When you make $100K a year, what's another latte?

Conversely, we have a friend who we like to trade coupons with.