surviving with very little money

[Snoopy2645]

Well this is about what my family survives off of also we actually survive off a little less but we only have 5 people 3 kids & 2 adults my kids are 10,4,1

I dont cloth diaper but pay very little for diapers like in the last 2 months I have only spent $5 on diapers I do amazons rebates & then participate in a class at the local health center that give free diapers & then I also participate in diaper studies for free diapers. I would say our biggest expense is food & I hate that!!! We spend more than I care to think about a month in food

[cicy33]

Does the friend help with the bills at all? if not require it. don't request it. require it. I have discovered that I can be quite the little you know what when I need to be and I darn sure wouldn't be stressing to the degree that you are due to him. Take out the batteries to the remote for the tv. unplug the tv, hide the controllers for the video game. We have a 3 bedroom house and our light bill is about 140 a month and we run the air and have a dryer, dishwasher, 4 kids, 2 of us, 5 tv's, etc. We just remember to turn things off at night, when we leave, etc. There is no excuse for him being so inconsiderate. As for as the food stamp thing goes. Explain to the government that he spent a few nights and was not living there but now you can't get him to leave. and I would tell him that you will be telling them he is not paying rent or bills to live there and when he whines say you signed the paperwork! I truly wish you luck.

[mom-from-missouri]

Really though, movies and interenet (unless required for working at home) are not necessities. Turn them off and he might move out! I did not have such items growing up and neither did my parents or theirs. I do have a VCR/DVD player now, but I also turn my dish off during the summer months (vacation rate) to prevent my kids from becoming couch potatoes. Our tv has not been on for over a week-No, I take that back, I did turn it on when I heard about the bombings in England--but other than the pictures, it was the same news available for free on the radio. It is not needed to entertain kids. My kids play dressup, boardgames (even a 4 year old can play checkers), read books (free from the libraray). They have written plays and they put them on for me. A blanket thrown over a table becomes a cave or a litt house. Sidewalk chaulk provides entertainment outside for drawing and hopskotch. If an adult should not need video games cable or internet for entertainment either.
Momma 4, kick that bum out. He is setting a bad example for your kids. I'd loaf for free to, if I could get all that for nothing!!

[cicy33]

I was wondering how you were doing? Hope that things are getting better!

[creditunionrate]

I'm also an ex smoker. At first, I was like.. sure go ahead, try to hypnotize me..
Well it worked after 4 sessions, $150 each, but its the best invesment I ever made.

I try not to harp on smokers, bc I know how hard it was for me to quit..

[acezz4e_tish]

mines always 100 or more. this month after all the cold washing and all was 93, but i cant get in there on time either, so will be 103 when i get to go in. mines a co op. thats prolly thier cost, plus thier family is bigger, more baths and such then most of us. my co op right now dont even offer off peak hours. when they have to do any maintence also, we pay for that. we had an ice storm three years ago, ten days no power, workers on it 24/7/10. my bill even tho i had 20 days of service was 900 dollars. they wanted thier money right then too, no payment options. with co op, you pay for everything. the workers, trucks, electric service, etc. so if your concidering moving, first question you should ask is if the area is a co op. the only reason our last outage we didnt pay for, was cause it was the phone companys fault, they cut a line they werent supposed too, so they paid. co ops suck! dont believe all they have in thier commercials. bottom line, anything needs updated, customer pays!

[starving_student]

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

Sounds like the friend is costing you more than your kids. I would kick him out of the bedroom to the livingroom couch and give the boys and girls their own rooms back. Law or no, my family gets better treatment than a deadbeat dude, no matter how much of a friend.

I also have all entertainment stuff plugged into an outlet strip, so you have to turn it on before you can play, it might help to deter the friend, specially if you make a house rule of paying for use. Might not, but it can't hurt. (use the saved money for something fun). Also we sold two of our computers, got the money for them and now we cannot have that many running at one time. (yes we are computer geeks we still have 3 .)

On the Smoking, I know quitting can be hard, specially if he works around smoke. You might ask if he can cut back a little, and let him use that money for lunches for himself. That way it is all reward not all work, not gonna help the budget this year, but might next year.

Oh and what an obnoxious landlord!

Do you need to keep the friend at all? Why not just kick him out altogether?

[LuxLiving]

Hey - did the 'friend' ever move out????

[budgetmom]

Seems she hasn't made a post since 9-16-05, at least that's what her profile says.

[naturalwoman]

as regards the dvd's i get mine from the library. only $1. some i can keep for 7 days for $1. the new rentals are 1.00 a day. watch movies at a friends house if you can. if they rent a movie, ask if you can give them a dollar or 2 on the rental and for them to give it to you when they are done.

[kilcher]

I'd love to know how this turned out. 4 kids living in one bedroom and the hubby refuses to give up his $120 a month smoking habit or kick out his deadbeat friend. Nice.

[Fred333]

Yea that $120 smoking habit is a rough one to stomach.

[honestfinancialwork]

Hello Fred, I have just started this blogging thing as my friends, co-workers, clients, family etc have been pushing me for a yr. to do it. I just submitted an intro which you might want to read. I have such a different way of looking at money that I think sharing it could help. Do I know what it is like to live on very little???? You bet I do??? I came from the single mom situation----me being the single mom. I lived far below poverty level even though I worked 3 jobs. I lived in a home where the blankets froze to the walls and snow drifts were in the bedroom corners. Vehicle-1972 Chyrsler Newport. Water running down the walls and rats- only in the basement. Our phone had to be taken outside like on Green Acres when it would not work. At was the most beautiful country home(seriously) and people begged me to let them live there if I left. I did leave two yrs. ago and my grown daughter and her hubby (who both have wonderful incomes) now reside there. Despite the financial challenges I experienced my daughter attended private schools, graduated from UW Madison(top 10 in colleges) and was top of the class. I traveled a great deal, had a big savings and pd for my new vehicles in cash. I also pd. my college education, dressed nicely, bought nice items etc... I had no credit cards and no loans. Was I wonder Woman??? Absoutely Not. I just knew the facts about money and never thought about it as an issue. I thought all people thought that way. It is just energy. I saw your list of expenses with the rent at the top. That is the first expense for people and the biggest one they pay first. Guess what research says is next??? nO IT IS NOT FOOD, INSURANCE, LOANS, CREDIT CARDS, gas etc.... it is Miscellaneous. That is what I knew that helped me to so well financially. I also knew the positives to debt. Research says that only 10% of people are willing to make major changes in life as they have to let go of the positives to bad relationships, debt, crummy jobs, smoking, over eating etc... Knowing that saves my life each and every single day. Karen

[LuxLiving]

Karen, it sounds like you did a terrific job keeping your miscellanous down to nil!! Keep posting - everyone here can use your sensible money approach!

[Ingtar17]

Wow! I can understand how you would be upset with someone mooching off you for an entire year while you are just scraping by. If you can't throw him out, you might want to consider starting to keep track of what he's costing you every month. Lay it out nice, so it's easy to see and show it to your husband. Hopefully he will see the light and kick him out. If not, maybe you could let him know you're keeping track and that he'll owe you that amount when he's back on his feet.

Not sure if that helps. It's probably a difficult thing to do if your husband is not behind you.

[alexjc]

Your problem with the deadbeat friend reminds me of that film that recently came out- You. Me & Dupree. Similar situation. I agree with Cheaply Clever- Give them the boot they need to get themselves sorted, spunging off you isnt the answer. I'd try and get them out fo teh house for good unless they re lodging and pay a good amount of all the bills THEY incur. Its only fair!

[leggzz66]

WOW!!! Our library rents out movies,discs,tapes for free! Only charges are when your late or lose it. Maybe its cause our local library is actually the head of all librarys in our county. maybe thats why it dont charge, other then late fees only fees they make are geneology,copies,faxs, online print outs.

[jasanderson]

Sounds to me like if she hasn't gotten smart and kicked the friend out yet maybe she should kick the husband out too.

[St. Theresa]

I could use the same advice. I work from home, but my business is sort of disorganized right now. I had the misfortune of ending up with a man who turned out to be a Narcissist - in short, everything he seemed to be was actually the opposite of who he really was.

Not only did he help me max out the refinancing opportunities on my house, but he steered my business into the direction he wanted it and the tools that I have right now are very tedious and difficult - software with lots of bugs. I do a lot of work for my clients and end up making much, much less than the $50/hour consulting fee I normally charge.

So here I am alone with two teenagers. My child support is only $144/week. My mortgage went from $800 in 2003 to $1400 after two refinances. The only good thing that has come out of the refi's is that I now own my car outright, I have a new mattress which is better for my bad back and I have no credit card debt. I can't, well, 'cuz, my credit is so bad now, I can't even HAVE a card.

My barebones monthly expenses:

$1400/mortgage
$300/utilities
$100/cable TV and Internet
$100/phone - a business line - the only one I have
$40 for medical past medical bills
$50 for monthly medical expenses (on the average.)
$20 water bill
$50 gasoline for my car
$250 for groceries
$90 for car insurance

So I need $2400/month for just the basics. Of course, there are expenses that aren't listed here. Household necessities, repairs, money for the kids' school stuff, clothing, expenses for two cats, etc. etc. It would also be nice to put some money away. As of right now, I have no savings, no retirement funds, no stock and no college funds for my kids. I also have some business expenses.

Since the expenses aren't going anywhere, the income needs to increase to around $4000/month. All by myself. There are no jobs in my area that will net me this much and, even if there were, it would mean leaving my two teens unsupervised more than teenagers should be.

So what would you do in my shoes? I've got a brain, two hands which type fast, good computer knowledge (software AND hardware) and some web development skills. What's the first thing you would try to do (aside from getting a housemate)?

Edit: Oh, also moving is not an option I consider (anymore.) My son is in a high school which is great for him, so I need to hang in there for that for at least 2 1/2 more years. But by then, my daughter will be a junior, and I probably won't want to uproot her, so now I'm talking at least 4.5 years.

[Coleroo]

Originally Posted by St. Theresa

I could use the same advice. I work from home, but my business is sort of disorganized right now. I had the misfortune of ending up with a man who turned out to be a Narcissist - in short, everything he seemed to be was actually the opposite of who he really was.........
So what would you do in my shoes? I've got a brain, two hands which type fast, good computer knowledge (software AND hardware) and some web development skills. What's the first thing you would try to do (aside from getting a housemate)?

The first thing i would do is cut cable and internet expenses down - get dial up and a basic cable plan (savings of around $50+ or more per month, which is enough to start a retirement fund at TROWE PRICE). Then i'd check your utilities...i know it can get high but is there anything you and your teens can do to immediately improve the high utility situation?

...i would also cut out the phone line expense. $100 seems wayyy too high for one line. is there extras you can truly do without (caller ID, voice mail, etc... you can get a $20 digital answering machine from walmart)?

Next i would focus on expanding my sources of passive income.... you have great webskills?? start a blog and update it every day with detailed knowledge of something you're passionate about (you can get a cheap host and set up wordpress). buy a cheap domain... get it into google... keep track of your stats for 3 months and work to build visitors. then add a few adsense (it will build a good passive stream within a year...i have first hand knowledge with this!). are you artistic? design artwork with a theme and open a store at cafepress.com (again, i have first hand experience that this works).

both your son and your daughter are old enough to where they can start supporting their own "wants" like high fashion clothing, electronics, playstations, makeup, etc.... they can get a job.....after the age of 14 or so i dont believe any parent should have to buy teen "wants" .... "needs" (food, basic clothing, shelter) yes, but not frivolous "wants". they should also be able to pay for extracurricular activities --- can you cut back in that area? those fees rack up fast!! maybe you could, say, agree to pay for one a year and they foot the rest.... it would also be a good time to teach them about finances. do they know your household financial situation? many fine kids are more than willing to pitch in when parents are honest about whats going on (and i dont mean to "pay electric bills" but to "foot their own wants" and help you manage extraneous expenses). perhaps your teens have a better insight into ways you guys can immediately cut back in some areas!

dont worry over not having a college fund. your children will survive with or without one --- but what are you going to do when you are "old"? you need a retirement fund and that should be your first focus. you do not want to end up at 65 years old with no savings and a "highly educationed" son. i know a mother's first instinct is to put her children first - but in this case you MUST put yourself first by focusing on your personal savings and retirement...because in doing so, you will be creating an easier future for your children in the long run!

also, dont look into the past - focus on the future. dont berate yourself or regret your past..... things can be done now to change your situation... you have full control of your life. HURRAY for having no credit card debt! you dont need a card. and hurray for having a loan free car title! now run that car in the ground for the next decade! dont be tempted to upgrade on a whim (its easy to be tempted!).

you should also keep (at least for a year) a DETAILED track record for where any and all money goes in your household. if you're not ready for a true budget, dont try yet --- just step by step... start tracking where everything is going. by doing that you'll get a feel for how your cash flows, where you can cut back and then out of that your budget will evolve. you'll also find weird things you never realized (i.e. $200 for cat toys? ... $50 for a pair of Etnies???... $889 for starbucks?? etc etc..) and you'll be able to cut out and put that money elsewhere.