Disolving my mental traps

[Radiance]

In this journey I've discovered that most of my obstacles were of the mental kind. True I have to recover from very bad financial decisions, but most of my progress is due thanks to changing habits and, more importantly, my way of thinking.

I have no problem spending close to zero in items such as cloting, jewerly and 'personal care' (hair dresser, nail salon, etc)

However.... eating out is really a very bad habit and I am having a very hard time shaking it out.

I just love it! The environment, the service, the choosing from a menu.
I think I need to find different pleasures from eaiting food from home.
There is a shift I have to make, but I have not really figured out what is the trick.

I did almost stop eaiting out, but I am not at peace. It bothers me and even depress me a little knowing "I can't, I shouldn't".
I can have a good lunch at my work's lunch room, but I want to eat out instead.

Any advise?

[Radiance]

Anybody?

[Caoineag]

This one is a hard one for me. I love to eat out. One of the best things I can recommend is to become comfortable cooking exotic food at home. Generally you need to group ethnicities for it to be economical but once you grow comfortable with various types of recipes, you can actually cook a greater variety than you can get in restaurants.

[Broken Arrow]

Sorry, I can't help either. *burp* Wish I could though, but I do keep everything within budget and I make sure to save much more than I am spending....

[Radiance]

Oh, I see...

Hello, my name is Radiance, I am a eat-out-holic.

[Caoineag]

Umm yes, I put my eating out into a pure cash budget so that when I run out of money, I can't spend no more (yes, if cash is what I am supposed to use, when I am out I am out). Once we are debt free, eating out will get a raise because it is that important to us.

Like broken arrow, we stay within the budget we set but no giving it up completely.

[Radiance]

Yeah the budget keeps me out of it, but I feel like a poor kid stuck to the store windows on December.

The way I see it:

I can afford to spend more on Cloting, but I really don't need to, i don't even want to.
I don't even like to go shopping. I know ...W-E-I-R-D...

So, wouldn't it be nice if I didn't need nor like to eat out?

I do have ONE friend who always says he doesn't see the point on eating out. He talks about how home cooked meals are cheaper, and better, and healthier, etc.
Funny thing, he spends so much in clothing he has been called metrosexual. (he is male, obviously, otherwise it would be consider "normal")
He really likes looking good, but eaiting out? not his thing.

I don't want eating out to be my thing anymore.
This friend does like to cook though, maybe that is the key... as I write I think I might need to look for ways to enjoy cooking.

Home cookers out there inspire me!

[Broken Arrow]

What makes this topic particular tricky for me is that food is one of the few luxuries that I allow myself....

So, I know it's not financially a good idea.....

But, I do it because I get a lot of joy out of it.

Otherwise, I am tight-wadded in just about everything else in my life.

Now, that said, some of the best tasting food I've ever had is home-cooked. And of course, they're usually cheaper as well. So, yes, here's to home cooking!

[PrincessPerky]

While it would be awfully nice to have everything we wanted, and never want what we shouldn't buy. Life isn't that easy.

However, the more I eat subpar food, the more I prefer to pay less for my subpar food. I can ruin food much cheaper at home!

[Radiance]

I guess I am guilty of not eating subpar when I eat out....It is always the good stuff.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Broken Arrow

So, I know it's not financially a good idea.....

But, I do it because I get a lot of joy out of it.

Originally Posted by Radiance

I guess I am guilty of not eating subpar when I eat out....It is always the good stuff.

I agree with both of you. I can't stand eating garbage when I go out. I hate most of the chain restaurants - Chili's, Applebee's, Friday's, etc. And I almost never eat fast food - McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, etc.

If I'm going to spend good money to eat out, I want a meal that I'll enjoy. I also want it to be something that I can't easily do at home. Since my wife and I both enjoy cooking, we appreciate good food that is well prepared. I would much rather go out for one memorable $100 dinner than 4 mass-produced $25 dinners.

My advice, Radiance, is to cut back in other areas and let this be your splurge area. When you do go out, be more careful in how and what you order. For example, drink water instead of a soft drink or alcohol. Skip the appetizer and dessert and just order an entree. If you dine with others, see if you can't share things. Most restaurant portions are way too big. My wife and I often share meals. We might get 2 appetizers and one entree, or even 1 and 1 will be enough depending on the restaurant. If you do want wine with dinner, stick to BYOB places since the markup on alcohol is insane. Bring a nice $10 bottle instead of paying them $35 for the same bottle.

Look for coupons. Since the economy went south, I've seen more and more nice restaurants putting out coupons, places that never used to advertise before. Many have also started fixed price meals, like $30 for a 3-course meal. There are some big bargains out there.

[Radiance]

I wanted to get rid of the habit all together, but what I hear is that might need this, at an emotional level or something like that.

I think I want to attack this on two fronts:
A. I will work on getting to know and enjoy cooking. I sometimes get excited about a recipe I want to try. Most recently, heavens know why, I want to do some home made oatmeal cookies (I have NEVER done cookies). Ok, not exactly a meal, but you get the idea. Who knows, maybe this hobby can turn things around.

B. I will allow myself to eat out here and there, as a treat to myself for being such a good girl. Maybe I will say: If I stay in budget this week, I will spend $40 eating out at so and so place.

or

If I finish this book I will spend $60 and so and so place.

Steve, I think your palate is more exquisite than mine..., but that is ok. (I do consider Applebees eating out .) No McDonadls and the such though.

[disneysteve]

Radiance, even though I don't frequent the chains, I didn't mean to imply that we are always going out for $100 dinners. I wish. Rather, we tend to frequent mom and pop kind of places that cook everything fresh to order. Italian is great for this. We have a few little Italian places near us where the 3 of us can get a very good meal for about $40, about the same as we'd spend at Olive Garden but for far better food.

[VanGuard]

Well I had this problem when I was working a manual labor job as a teenager. We had an hour lunch break and we were allowed to go out to eat. I soon discovered that eating out wasn't what it was cracked up to be when I found the hole it was eating in my wallet. I chose to pack a lunch and take it with me in a little cooler. I would just eat on the work site and have a good time. It all depends on what you want more, do you want to go out to eat everyday and spend a lot of money, or do you want to slow it down a little bit, save the money you would have spent on eating out and bring a lunch from home?

[LuxLiving]

How about getting your metrosexual friend to show you some of his tips and tricks? Or, offer to buy the food and have him come over to help prepare it a few times a month?

If not him, then invite some other 'cookers' over for a night in - my parent's generation called them potlucks. You provide the beverages & salad.

Making cooking enjoyable by sharing it with someone is one way to make eating at home more fun.

[Radiance]

ok, Financial wisdom and frugality is really a journey of self-discovery. The financial lessons have been great, but what I have learned about myself is invaluable.

ok, so I discovered that one thing I don't like is eating from a lunch box, a.k.a. Glad plastic container. Not sure why I dislike it, but I noticed this is part of the problem. So, I am getting me a set of regular dish, bowl and silverware to keep at the office. I can heat my cook-at-home lunch and serve it on the regular dish for a more appealing meal.

[lovcom]

Get rich and healthy at the same time:

Eat at Quiznos, and Subway. Choose sandwiches that are low in fat, calories, and go with the baked chips, or just the sandwaich. Stay clear of all softdrinks, diet too.

Have a nice sit-down dinner once a month with someone special.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I think Radiance is cooking almost entirely at home these days and for less money and healthier than those sandwhich shops.

Actually, for a lot of people who read these forums, cutting out fast food while at work is an important way to help get their spending in line with their income.

Last time I went into Subway, I tried to order one of the small round sandwhiches, but they no longer had them on the menu.

[snafu]

I don't like restaurant food because I have no idea what has gone into the food I will eat. Was the food fresh and good quality? How much sodium and other 'preservatives' were used? What is the personal hygiene level of the prep staff? After seeing a couple of episodes of a Restaurant Makeover series & early Gordon Ramsay series, it was sickening to see sauces turned green, meat weeks past prime being served in smartly decorated restaurants on beautiful tableware.

I'd rather challenge myself to make elegant meals at home using quality ingredients. The fact that I can produce them for about 1/3 the cost is merely a bonus. If you're hung up on 'choosing' from the menu...make up a menu plan and choose anything you like from the giant food store. If that's not wide enough...you can buy ingredients on-line. If it is having someone trot out foods from kitchen to table...use the $$$ saved to hire someone to wash your floors and vacuum. Lots of food stores will shop & deliver food so long as you will pay the premium.

Buy the most expensive set of tableware you like. Use it every night and it will be worth every cent paid if it helps you enjoy your meal. I've never understood people who save tableware for 'good.' You are good enough to use your best tableware so enjoy it!

[Radiance]

Yeah, eating at fast food and the like will not work for me.

Eating super healthy is vital for me, so cooking at home is the way to go.
I am looking for ways to really enjoy it so it becomes a lifestyle and not a dragging responsibility...Last time I bought from McDonalds I couldn't even swallow the sandwich...so I wasted my 2 bucks...

At home I am happy with the tableware I have.
At the office is were I have been using plastic containers or thermos. Not doing it for me.

It doesn't have to be expensive, just inviting.

P.S. I do have a Christmas set that I really like and I only use in Christmas.