"Spending Addict, Need Help"!!!

[cschin4]

Also, stop looking for a "good deal". I don't shop sales, go to multiple stores, etc because more exposure means the more I will buy. For me, I buy what i need when I need it whether or not it is "on sale" or a "good deal". A friend of mine is always looking for some a good deal then he crows about all the useless junk he buys. All I see are $$ being frittered away. It is his money and he can do what he wants but then he complains about spending too much as well.

[mikewoodbooks]

Another point is to not beat yourself up too badly. Yes, we are each responsible if we get into debt and don't control our spending habits. But from our political leaders who set the example of running a deficit, to watching TV and movies where everyone lives a Hollywood lifestyle, to a bombardment of credit card offers - our culture promotes a culture of debt. And part of the process of getting off that train track is just being aware that society is manipulating you to be that way.
People like those on savingadvice who have learned to 'just say no' are in the minority. And sometimes that actually means being looked down upon by friends who can't believe that you would rather order water than shell out $4 for a coffee.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by mikewoodbooks

People like those on savingadvice who have learned to 'just say no' are in the minority.

This is unfortunate, but true, and worthwhile to point out. Someone stumbling upon this site seeing lots of people who strive to be responsible with their money might think they are the strange ones. In fact, it is we who are the strange ones in our society.

How often do we hear the stats? 70% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. The average household credit card debt is about $9,000. One in eleven homes is in foreclosure. The national savings rate is a negative number. Most baby boomers are not adequately preparing for retirement. The news goes on and on.

So yes, those of us maxing out our Roths and 401ks, contributing to 529 plans, paying our CC charges in full each month and otherwise living below our means are the exception rather than the rule... but we're working here to change that.

[rob62521]

Originally Posted by cschin4

Also, stop looking for a "good deal". I don't shop sales, go to multiple stores, etc because more exposure means the more I will buy. For me, I buy what i need when I need it whether or not it is "on sale" or a "good deal". A friend of mine is always looking for some a good deal then he crows about all the useless junk he buys. All I see are $$ being frittered away. It is his money and he can do what he wants but then he complains about spending too much as well.

I wonder if we have the same friend! So much of his conversation is about what he's bought or what he's going to buy. It gets tiresome listening to him after awhile.

I concur with many of the posters...don't go into a store and be lured by their marketing techniques. These places spend tons of money figuring out how to get people to buy stuff...such as putting the groceries at eye level to make it easier to see or putting things on the end of shelving so people think they are getting a good deal. Be like Santa...make a list and check it twice! Then don't buy anything else. Good luck on your savings journey.

[stressedmama]

Don't know if you have kids yet, but I find I like to spend money going out and doing things rather then on stuff like clothes. So to keep my spending down in this area, I've made some written and some mental list of places in the metro area that are cheap/free to take my kids to on days I'm off or on the weekends. We do a lot of picnics in various parks around town, go to the zoo, science center, etc which are all free activities around here. Plus local theatres have free movies at various times during the summer, etc.

There are a lot of other free/cheap events in our area to (if you are single or are just hanging out with a friend for the evening). Keep an eye out in your local paper, check restaurants/venues ahead of time for special deals or free periods (example The Muny, our outdoor venue that does live plays/musicals in the summer in St. Louis, has about 150 free seats in the back that they allow anyone to sit in on a first come first serve basis). Our symphony gives I think 50 free tickets away on a first come first serve basis too.

By planning ahead of time, my family has been able to do a lot of fun activities while still staying on a pretty tight entertainment budget.

[mikewoodbooks]

Also saving money is like losing weight, exercising and eating a healty diet. Everybody can tell you that it's what you should do, but only you can actually make the decision to do it for yourself. Everybody here will cheer you on, but in the end, you must turn yourself around from a negative path to a positive path. Here's another carrot to dangle - your stress goes down a huge amount when you're not living paycheck to paycheck and you have an emergency fund in the bank.

[cameorose]

I like them, I now have a good list of idea's. I have made me a folder and I am keeping track of every thing. I work with women who spend money like crazy. They eat out every day. Breakfast and lunch. There is alway's a list going around. Today, I didn't order! The sound of their shock could be heard for a mile. I took a small jar of peanut butter and a sleve of cracker's. A Tuna fish sandwhich on toast, and carrot stick's. I ate the peanut butter cracker's for breakfast the rest at dinner. I saved around $8.00 today! I just had ice water to drink. Didn't spend a dime the rest of the day. Great start, I hope I do well tommorrow. CameoRose

[JanH]

Great start! Good for you!

[Daylily]

Congrats on taking your lunch today and not spending $8.00.
Taking my lunch to work every day has saved me a lot of money over the years. I use that money to contribute to my retirement accounts and to my vacation fund.

[mikewoodbooks]

You're on a roll, keep it up! I've been taking my lunch to work for 30 years. I guarantee that's at least $30,000 I've saved cummulatively just from that. Is there anyone here for whom $30K wouldn't make a big difference? This goes to show you the power of one little thing. Now when you add in dropping the cable, getting DVDs for free at the library instead of paying for them at Blockbuster, turning up (or off) the AC when you leave for work, etc it all adds up.

[cschin4]

And, you want to make this UNLIKE a diet. Meaning, you want to change your whole thought process and mentality about money. I no longer enjoy recreational shopping. I hate going to the mall for "something to do". I hate browsing gift shops, etc. I don't need or want any more junk filling up my life or house!
So, instead I would rather go for a walk, go camping, go to the library, stay home and play cards or a board game, play badmition with the kids and , play my guitar, watch the birds, and on and on. I center my activities
around things I enjoy and do not center my activities around money and shopping. It is surprising how many people shop for recreation and spend every weekend at the mall. Boring!
If I do go on excursions that involve spending, my money will be spent on good food rather than souveniers and other "stuff". I go to enjoy the experience not to collect yet another item
Anyway, I don't want you to get the point that I don't shop. Indeed I do but I know what i am planning to buy when I go shopping. And, I will wait until I find exactly what I want before buying. My recent purchase was picking out a new stove for my kitchen. I researched all the stoves and finally decided on a 36 inch Jenn Air Gas range with convection. It has everything I want on it but also doesnt have things I don't want like too many electronic buttons. I also researched the price and and found a store out of town selling it. So, we are not all living like misers either.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by mikewoodbooks

getting DVDs for free at the library instead of paying for them at Blockbuster

I hear this suggestion a lot. Just keep in mind that it doesn't apply to everyone. Our library charges to borrow DVDs. Another option is the RedBox machines that charge $1 for an overnight rental. You can often find them in the supermarket.

Originally Posted by cschin4

And, you want to make this UNLIKE a diet. Meaning, you want to change your whole thought process and mentality about money. I no longer enjoy recreational shopping.

Actually, changing your mindset is exactly what a diet should be. If you don't change your lifestyle and behavior, you will never lose weight and keep it off. Sure, I can go on a crash "money diet" and stop excess spending for a few weeks, but if I go right back to old habits after that, any savings will disappear. Same goes for food. I can give up sweets for a month and drop a couple of pounds, but if I go right back to eating junk, the weight will all come back.

I'm with you on not enjoying recreational shopping. It is something we always used to do. Free time on a weekend afternoon? Go to the mall. Have lunch at the food court, browse the stores, maybe pick up a thing or two. Now, I hardly ever go to a mall. I find that I just don't enjoy it. There is rarely anything at all that I'm interested in and most stores are way upscale for what we typically buy. When we do need something, you are more likely to find us at Target and Wal-Mart.

[rob62521]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Actually, changing your mindset is exactly what a diet should be. If you don't change your lifestyle and behavior, you will never lose weight and keep it off.
I'm with you on not enjoying recreational shopping. It is something we always used to do. Free time on a weekend afternoon? Go to the mall. Have lunch at the food court, browse the stores, maybe pick up a thing or two. Now, I hardly ever go to a mall. I find that I just don't enjoy it. There is rarely anything at all that I'm interested in and most stores are way upscale for what we typically buy. When we do need something, you are more likely to find us at Target and Wal-Mart.

You have changed your mindset, Disneysteve, to find other things to do besides recreational shopping. You are probably not a favorite of the mall stores or the mall itself. I think about what people used to do before they could go to the mall and entertain themselves. I imagine a lot of shopping is done because of boredom.

[rob62521]

And congrats to cameorose for taking your lunch and saving money! Well done!

[maat55]

One thing I like to do is, find two or three things you can take out of the cart at the checkout. Find everything you don't need and pull it. Reading finance books and not looking at want adds helps a lot.

[cschin4]

I imagine a lot of shopping is done because of boredom.

But, why are we bored? We have more to do than any other previous generation if we choose to. We can pursue our hobbies, read a book, paint, quilt, exercise, hike, yet there are hundreds of cars at the mall every sunny beautiful day. I don't get it.

[SnoopyCool]

Congratulations on the first steps.

Something that helps me is frequenting Saving Advice: reading the boards and blogs as often as time permits (and posting a little myself). I'm bouyed-up by people that want to take care of their finances. Keep reading and keep posting!

[Ima saver]

We live two hours one way, from the closest mall. It use to be something to do on your day off. You almost felt like you needed to buy something to justify 4 hours in the car that day. Of course, you had to buy an expensive lunch and dinner before you came home.
So, we would go and buy things that we really did not need and spend money we did not need to spend.
Finally, about 8 years ago, I said no more!! I just don't need to buy more stuff!! I can order what few clothes (jeans and shorts) I need from QVC or Penny's catalog.
I carry a list of what I need to buy with me and occasionally (3 times a year or so) I stop at Wal mart.
I haven't missed going to a mall at all!!(or that 4 hours in the car in heavy traffic)

[snafu]

Good for you cameorose, you've taken a giant step forward by realizing that you don't want to repeat your mom's problems and that much of your purchases were impulse buying. Avoiding fast food at work has the added bonus of being good for your health. So much F/food has too much salt, chemicals and calcium leaching products.

To help avoid impulse buying, compell yourself to discarding an old item each time you buy something new. New jeans mean old jeans go to GW or SA etc. Use a place on your calendar for 'cost avoidance.' Another is to make a note of what you want to buy and wait 48 hours before making the 'buy' to decide if it's a 'want' or a 'need.' Don't fall for the marketing ploys. They don't care about you...they just want to get their hand in your pocket!

I note savings and add the sums at the end of the month. I transfer that sum to a savings project [just now trying to fund a winter holiday].

Keeping in touch on this Board helps keep you motivated. Let us know your successes and we'll cheer you on.

[saveforhouse]

Originally Posted by deadgoon

cameorose, I think another thing you need to look at is WHY you want to be more frugal. Do you have a goal in mind like saving more for retirement, buying a house, buying a car, getting out of debt?

I am on the same page as deadgoon 100%! I used to spend a lot of money myself, especially when it comes to designer clothes and my sports car. However, about three years ago, I completely changed my mind. There were a few things that changed my mind but the main ones were Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad series of books and two life goals: the fact that I don't enjoy the idea of working in a cubicle the rest of my life and also the pure desire to own my own home!

I use my two goals to my advantage. Both require saving money and investing wisely. To "not have to work", I need to generate enough passive income from my investments and websites such that the income is greater than my expenses each month. At that point, I can quit my job and work from home on my own projects full time, how much fun! To "own my own house", I need to save up a large down payment fund. Saving up a down payment is by far the largest savings goal of my life, one that takes years.

Whenever I get in the mood to spend, I visualize these goals in my mind. Instead of getting short term happiness from a new shirt or outfit, I now am waiting for the "delayed gratification" of the huge life changing wins of owning my house and not having to work at an office. To summarize, for me personally, I have found nothing more motivating than visualizing my big goals - this strategy always keeps me on track! It has even caused me to do some crazy frugal things I thought I would never do, but that's another story...