Getting Married.... Frugally... Is it Possible?

luddybell · #1 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 12:52 PM

I am getting married in a few months and I need all your help. I really need to do this as frugally as possible with out eloping. I am planning a smaller wedding with about 150 guest. My Fiance and I are paying for EVERYTHING so any helpful ideas are welcome.

Thank you!

Misty

sweeps · #2 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 01:00 PM

How long is a few months? That doesn't sound like a lot of time.

One suggestion is to have your reception on a Friday or Saturday afternoon instead of a Saturday evening.

luddybell · #3 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 01:01 PM

actually its quite a few.... March 28th 2009

sweeps · #4 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 01:05 PM

Oh ok

Another suggestion would be to stay away from things labeled as "wedding" or "bridal". For example a "wedding" cake serving set is 3 times the price of an otherwise very nice looking "non-wedding" cake serving set.

DayByDay · #5 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 04:29 PM

Have a potluck wedding reception.

cptacek · #6 (**permalink**) 05-12-2008, 09:18 PM

I had a full church wedding with 5 attendants each, 3 little ones, an open bar, catered meal for 325 guests plus a honeymoon for a week and we spent a little less than $9000 - $2600 of that was supper, so $6400 on all the rest.

My dress cost ~$360. We bought his ring at Walmart for $40. Each of the bridesmaids had a different dress, and all but one were on sale (I paid for half of these dresses). We bought the flower girl dresses at Burlington Coat Factory and gave them <$10 tieras to finish things off. Don't waste your money on those M&Ms with the writing on them...very overrated. My new last name starts with an "M", so I said that we put the monogram on all the M&Ms

I made pearl necklaces and earrings for everyone and a bracelet for me out of real pearls, and only spent $140 for 13 sets for the bridesmaids gifts. If you get started early, you can use 40% off coupons for Michaels...otherwise, stay out of there! Get most everything from ebay. I made all the save the date cards, invitations, thank you cards, and programs either using printsmadeeasy.com or my own printer and Copymax to cut and punch holes in everything. I made my own veil (with mom's help).

There are a lot of details on my blog, specifically here:
Saving money on my wedding (my contribution to someone else's blog): Cptacek's Personal Finance Blog
I found that making things yourself and not getting hooked on a dream wedding was the best thing to do. Concentrate first on the fact that no matter what things look like or turn out, you end up being married at the end of the day.

Repeat over and over "simple and elegant" because the more simple things are, the less decorations you need.

Brokemofo · #7 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 05:15 AM

My Wife didn't want to be the center of attenton, so we paid $50 and got married at the courthouse. 3 months later we had a reception in the clubhouse at her parents apartment complex. 15 years later we realize that was probably one of the smartest financial decisions we've ever made eventhough that was not the reason we did it that way.

LuxLiving · #8 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 05:34 AM

Hubster and I married at the courthouse, went out for drinks w/our stand up couple and then about a week later had a small reception at the clubhouse in my condo. I think we paid about $100 for the both of our rings. So, we were done for under $250. Rings, judge, bloodtests, marriage license & reception all total. I wore a suit I already had and he wore jeans. We're still happily married 25 years later.

It all depends on what kind of wedding you want. What kind of a wingding are you wanting to have?

ktmarvels · #9 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 06:27 AM

First decide what kind of wedding you want to have and decide what aspects are most important to you. That way you can prioritize your spending. Maybe you can have a less expensive meal so that you get awesome pictures, or an amazing band, but fewer flowers.

Then try to do as much of it yourself as possible. Making invitations and party favors are much less expensive than purchasing them. You've got time to plan ahead to shop sales and use Michael's 40% off coupons.

I would agree the advice to avoid "wedding" look on craigslist or other classifieds for some of the vendors, especially some of those aspects that rank lower priority. Good luck!

Caoineag · #10 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 07:01 AM

We did courthouse wedding and then later on did a 100 person outdoor informal barbeque at a park. It was very pretty and was under 1k. I agree that you have to decide what you care about. Since I knew with my family and his family I couldn't have the type of wedding that would actually appeal to me without breaking the bank, I decided that I didn't really want the wedding part. So we just did a big informal reception for everyone. No one had hurt feelings and we got to be cheap and afford a nice trip to Scotland.

luddybell · #11 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 07:31 AM

We both want a church wedding. So I suppose a small traditional wedding is what type of wedding we are planning. I will definately check out your blog because your budget is almost identical to ours.

PrincessPerky · #12 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 09:36 AM

Prioratize is the number one thing...and don't be afraid to have odd priorities. I really really wanted this certain type of flower, it was the only kind I thought pretty enough to carry..and of course it wasn't cheap. but food wise I wasn't picky.

If you belong to a church it is generally cheaper than if you don't. So you might want to consider joining one if you haven't already

. And honestly most churches are rather pretty in their own right, so you can skimp on decorations there. ( a bride in a wedding gown is the best decoration for a church wedding IMO)

also depending on where you live, churches may have reception hall like options attatched for a cheaper price than renting one (not to mention less transportation issues.

somewhere on this site is a list of things I wish I had known before I got married....might be useful.

LuxLiving · #13 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 12:39 PM

looks like lots of good ideas here:

Dream Weddings On A Budget

and here:

The (Super) Low-Budget Wedding Reception

and also here:
Wedding Supplies, Favours, Themes, Bridal Accessories

And from what I'm seeing on these sites anything goes. Pick your theme and you can go as simple or as elaborate as you want!

sounderella · #14 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 01:00 PM

we just got married last month....what a headache!!!! My advice to you would be to go to the courthouse....if I'd known what I know now, I would've

cptacek · #15 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sounderella

we just got married last month....what a headache!!!! My advice to you would be to go to the courthouse....if I'd known what I know now, I would've

How sad. I loved my wedding! It was so fun! My advice is to make a bunch of lists with deadlines and get everything done a month early. I made sure I got everything done the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, because I had that week off of work, and then got married January 26. I was completely not stressed out that month. I actually felt kind of weird that I wasn't. I didn't have that much help planning it, but I had help the day before to decorate, and it was great!

I guess I just used the same skills I use at work to get big projects done...prioritizing, setting deadlines for myself, determining what is important and what isn't, and having a vision of what the end goal is (a holy wedding ceremony, my friends and family there showing their support, a beautiful reception, a good meal and a fun party to celebrate).

maat55 · #16 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luddybell

I am getting married in a few months and I need all your help. I really need to do this as frugally as possible with out eloping. I am planning a smaller wedding with about 150 guest. My Fiance and I are paying for EVERYTHING so any helpful ideas are welcome.

Thank you!

Misty

I had one of my daughters get married last july and we spent around 5000, but the wedding looked like it cost 10,000 or more. We rented and picked up our own table and chairs for the reception. We bought table settings at hobbly lobby and many other wedding products their. We had my step mother prepare the food and we rented those stailess steel serving trays with fuel heaters underneath.

I'll try to get my wife to give you more details later.

MelC · #17 (**permalink**) 05-14-2008, 08:25 AM

I am recently engaged and also dont want to break the bank getting married. We just bought a lovely house together and thinking about spending even 5K on a wedding is a bit unsetteling. It just seems like such a strange way to start a marriage- in debt! We'd most likely have to charge everything and I just recently paid off all my credit cards from living on a student budget. My car is recently paid off... I only have my home and school loans as debt. I dont want more!

I am divorced with a 6 year old and my fiance has never been married. So hes more into the wedding idea than I am- if for no other reason than he feels like he has to have a wedding for his mom and family.

I would really like running away to Vegas, just the two of us and getting married there. Hes coming around to this idea.

Another reason its so hard for us is because his family is scattered all over the place: England, Israel, and South Africa. If we get married here, where would we have it? Who would drive all these people around? Its so stressful to think about it! We are about an hour and half from the nearest airport, there is a local hotel that brings people straight from the airport to the hotel and its a really nice one too (Dover Downs Speedway for you race fans out there). But then we're looking at 60 dollars a plate. I just cant justify spending that kind of money on one night!!! I could probably do this on 4K but to me, thats a lot of money!

Am I the only one who feels this way?? Its supposed to be something Ive always dreamed about but its more of a nightmare than a dream! If someone else paid for it, sure then I might be a little more excited

disneysteve · #18 (**permalink**) 05-14-2008, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cptacek

I had a full church wedding with 5 attendants each, 3 little ones, an open bar, catered meal for 325 guests plus a honeymoon for a week and we spent a little less than $9000 - $2600 of that was supper, so $6400 on all the rest.

How the heck did you do a catered meal for 325 people with an open bar for $2,600?? That's only $8 per person.

luddybell · #19 (**permalink**) 05-14-2008, 10:17 AM

Yeah thats what throws me too Steve... Every caterer I have priced even for small "tid bit" appetizers is going to cost me at least $13.00 a head...

I am seriously thinking of recruiting some Aunt's and such for the "wedding kitchen crew"

disneysteve · #20 (**permalink**) 05-14-2008, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luddybell

Yeah thats what throws me too Steve... Every caterer I have priced even for small "tid bit" appetizers is going to cost me at least $13.00 a head...

Our daughter's Bat Mitzvah is in September. We are paying $61/person and that doesn't include alcohol, and that is for a buffet, not a sit-down meal.