Getting Married.... Frugally... Is it Possible?

[luddybell]

Yeah the buffett thing is running me about $55 a head so I figure I can go to Costco buy food and let all the ladies that arent in the wedding party cook them and serve them and probably save a ton of money.

[cptacek]

Yep, it only cost me $8 a person for the meal. A roast hog, stuffing, green beans, bread, and tea. The open bar was more, though.

I knew a guy that wasn't a "professional caterer" but did catering for the school banquets sometimes, and him and his family did it all.

[sweeps]

Definitely depends on where in the country the reception is happening. Went to a small town wedding where the reception included Buddig meats and Butternut bread for sandwiches, and a gigantic bowl of potato chips.

[NDArmyGrrl]

OP what do you want help with in perticular? If you told us what you want we might be able to offer suggestions.

Examples:

"I want a sit down dinner" - okay have you thought of sandwiches instead of fish or roast

"I want white flower" - okay have you checked out the dollar store for fake flowers- they are easy to up ahead of time and can cost less.

[PrincessPerky]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

How the heck did you do a catered meal for 325 people with an open bar for $2,600?? That's only $8 per person.

My wedding wasn't that long ago, and I recall the prices were between 6$ a head and 12 depending on the entree (I don't which ones we picked..can't even remember what we ate, but it was good.)

I think the area matters a whole lot. I was married in a pretty small town.

Though the open bar was a good deal more (I don't know how much, we didn't pay for it)

[luddybell]

Ok as far as things go... I have already purchased my dress and my flowers ( bought these from ebay). I really need help with: church decorations/reception decorations, reception food, favors and so ... really everything BUT the dress and flowers.

[sweeps]

You could make a charitable donation in lieu of wedding favors. (Tax deductible too!)

[cptacek]

Why do you need wedding favors? In all the weddings I've ever been to that had them, they ended up in the trash a few days later. We didn't have any, and no one complained.

If you decide to have wedding favors, that is up to you, and you can find some that are either easy to make or not very expensive. But you don't have to have them.

Question everything. Even if it is on the "bride's checklist" of things to get done, you don't have to do it.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cptacek

Why do you need wedding favors? In all the weddings I've ever been to that had them, they ended up in the trash a few days later. We didn't have any, and no one complained.

I agree that you don't need them. I don't agree that they all end up in the trash. We've been to numerous weddings where the favors were edible - personalized M&Ms, molded chocolates, etc. Another wedding we went to last year had favors of very nice sets of glass coasters. We use those regularly.

So no, you don't have to have favors, but if you do, it is possible to do something that people will use, or at least enjoy eating.

[cptacek]

I guess we had M&Ms on every table in plastic champagne glasses. Would those be considered favors?

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by cptacek

I guess we had M&Ms on every table in plastic champagne glasses. Would those be considered favors?

Yep. That's the kind I'm talking about.

[sweeps]

Also make your own pew bows, don't buy them. There's a tool you can buy at places like Michael's that helps you tie them. (Always use a 40% or 50% coupon when shopping at Michael's.)

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by sweeps

(Always use a 40% or 50% coupon when shopping at Michael's.)

This is a great tip that we have been taking full advantage of in planning our daughter's Bat Mitzvah in September. We started a 2-3 months ago going to AC Moore and Michael's almost weekly. Each time, we buy one item with the weekly coupon and nothing else. I haven't added up the savings, but I'm sure it is at least $50 so far. By planning in advance and being able to pick up items one by one, we're going to save quite a bit by the time we're done.

[eisor]

I just got married 9 month ago. We had a wedding with 6 (supposed to be 7) attendants, 140 guests and a catered sit down meal for less than $5,000. It was great! Everyone really enjoyed it.

For details, check out my wedding planning bio:
http://eisor.myweb.uga.edu/personal/biocss.html

I agree with the suggestion of not buying things that are labeled wedding. Also, comparison shopping is your best friend.

One thing that isn't in my bio, but we got a TON of compliments on was our music. Everyone LOVED it! Plus, it added a subtle personal touch.

We used music from this group:
The String Quartet Tribute CDs by Todd Mark Rubenstein

We found a coupon code online for emusic for free downloads, and downloaded our ceremony music for free. We had some Shania Twain, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Tim McGraw and other well known songs. It was great!!

If you have ANY specific questions at all, feel free to ask me.

[stressedmama]

Some other tips for saving money on a wedding...

Music - Call the local college in your area if you want/need a piano, brass/string/wind quartet, vocalist, etc. You can get good live musicans for less money. They may also know of people who DJ receptions on the side which could save $ verses going through a company.

Photos - Instead of hiring a professional, call local college and see if they could recommend any students. I would suggest seeing their portfolio first. Diddo for videographer.

Decorations - If you are getting married in a church ask church if you can use some of their plants/greenery. Most churches have a lot of flowers and plants that they set out at different times of the year. This can fill a large or small church for free.

Food - Do a breakfast/brunch reception for the cheapest rates.

Venue - If you are getting married in a church most have a banquet hall that could be used at no additional cost for a reception. You could have a sit down meal or just a cake/punch reception to really save money.

My hubby and I got married 8 years ago and spent $5K. Since we paid for it all ourselves with no help, we employed many of the suggestions I gave above to avoid wedding debt. Good luck.

[ScrimpAndSave]

Geez...I got 200 ppl. at $90 a head.

Pocono Wedding Site, Banquet Center, Spa, Pennsylvania Country Inn

[MonkeyMama]

We were frugal for our wedding.

One thing we did was have it on a Sunday. The reception hall and catering was significantly cheaper on Sunday. Also, we planned our wedding in just a few months and all the vendors were available, which was nice (no juggling dates since Saturday is so popular).

We had a lot of friends do photos and music, etc. Professional DJ and Florists were acquaintances who gave us discounts. All this was really key. We didn't pay much at all for the vendors but they were all excellent.

I also just wanted one attendant to make it simpler.

I bought a wedding dress at a discount store for maybe $99. It was great but I think the alterations cost something like $300. Seriously. So I wish that was something I knew ahead of time - I would have picked a very different style dress. One that was simple to alter. That was my big expensive mistake for my wedding.

We probably paid something like $30/head for a buffet and appetizers, but I don't remember. It would have been more expensive on Saturday though. But it was a really nice meal. We got a tip from a friend - we had the reception at a public golf course. It was really nice and all we paid for was the food, which was excellent. It was considerably cheaper than any other option we priced, and was actually pretty elegant. So I do say talk to your friends who have got married or are getting married.

[lehresman]

I just got married in March. We had 3 months to plan the wedding and did it for $4500. We had about 300 people at the wedding, and we did a simple cake/punch reception afterward. We didn't spend much on the cake, we had a friend make it. It looked awesome (picture attached), but only ended up spending about $500 on that reception.

We had a private catered reception for family. About 90 people came to that one. That was where the bulk of our expense went. I think we spent $700 on that one.

My advice? Do as much yourself as you can and go simple. We got the cheapest tuxes we could find (~$90 each), but they looked really sharp. Also, avoid anything that is marketed as "wedding". Companies will jack up the price if they know it's for a wedding because people pay it. It's ridiculous.

All said and done, we had a beautiful wedding and got a LOT of compliments on it. People were very surprised that we only spent $4500 on it.

The other option for us was to show up at our pastor's house at midnight. But I think our parents would have killed us. Seriously though, eloping might be an option. A friend of mine had her parents give them $1000 if they would elope instead of having a big expensive wedding. They used the money to build some savings.

[poundwise]

This is not in response to any posting in this thread, just a general comment on the subject.

I think what many people plan, do, and spend for a wedding ceremony and the surrounding trappings is completely asinine.

I know a couple who, a few years ago, had a wedding that cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000. The father of the bride paid for most of it but the bride and groom fronted about $10,000 themselves and then spent an additional $10,000 on their honeymoon; largely on credit cards.

Three years later, they were in bankruptcy and contemplating divorce.

Besides the fact that $50K-60K could have been better spent and a fine wedding could be had for far less, I find the largest misgiving about weddings to be the reasoning that this is the most important day of your life and so, apparently, should be extravagant.

While I agree that the day of your marriage (not specifically your wedding ceremony, reception, etc.) is huge on the importance scale, far more important than if you had goldfish in bowls or released a hundred doves, etc. is what you start to do with your lives from that day forward. In my view, being foolish and wasteful on the day you begin a new life together is not setting the right precedent for the future.

I'm glad to see so many postings here talking in more sensible terms. I wish more people would put the greater emphasis and effort on their marriage and life together following the honeymoon as they do for the wedding day itself.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by poundwise

being foolish and wasteful on the day you begin a new life together is not setting the right precedent for the future.

I agree with all you said, but I also think there is another side to it. Who decides what is "foolish and wasteful"? I'd certainly agree that it is foolish to have an expensive affair if you are charging it all on high-interest credit cards and taking years to pay it off.

But what if the bride's parents are paying for the affair and they have been setting money aside for years in anticipation of a wedding someday. Now they are thrilled to be able to provide that dream wedding for their daughter. Is that foolish? Maybe not. Could the money be used for something more practical? Sure. But does all spending have to be practical? I don't think so.

We will celebrate our 16th anniversary in less than 2 months. We had a very nice wedding. Not crazy like you see on TV today but pretty elaborate for the time. You know what. Our friends still talk about it when we're together. It was a very memorable event for all of us. Who is to say that it was "foolish and wasteful"? We didn't think so. My in-laws who were paying for it didn't think so. My parents who paid for a portion of it didn't think so.

I think if you can afford it and are willing to do it, go for it and enjoy. But if you can't afford it, don't.