Wish you weren't so frugal?

[Snave]

Does anybody else wish they weren't as frugal? I like the comfort of saving, but sometimes I feel guilty for spending money even when I have it to spend. My wife and I save about 33% of our income for retirement, kids college education, and miscellaenous savings. I know this is (and will continue to grow to) plenty of money as we have been doing this for years and are still young (early thirties). However, I still feel guilty when I purchase something. In fact, a lot of times I don't even make the purchase. We have money in our budget each month that is designated as "fun money" that we can use for whatever we want. Most of the time I don't even spend it even though we have it earmarked for spending.

[Ima saver]

No, I never wish I wasn't so frugal. I don't spend money on hairdo's , make up, clothes i don't need, etc. However, I do enjoy eating out and sporty cars, so I spend my money on that. I am frugal in some areas so I can enjoy other things in life!

[PrincessPerky]

About the only time is when it is assumed I have no money..which while money is tight, isn't true..then I start to feel we are giving the wrong impression to friends and family...but then again, I would rather they thought we didn't have it than that we were stingy!

But then again, of our discretionary money (only comes from OT) we spend a great deal on the kids..not on stuff, on trips to the science center or the museum..or out of state zoos/science centers, etc. I only feel guilty about that on rare occasion.

I don't think it is a bad thing not to spend...I have gone to the store with intent to 'waste' and found I couldn't...I just couldn't justify the prices...so the money stayed around till our next fun trip.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I wish I could spend more as well. It's tough because instead I have to be responsible.

[Caoineag]

Sort of related but maybe not phrased quite the same way. I wish I was comfortable spending money on clothing. I need it but I would rather spend my free money on something else so I invariably get to the point where all my clothes should be demoted to rags.

As to our toys, they get used so much that we don't feel guilty buying them. Its just clothing that brings out my inner cheapskate :P

[cschin4]

You need to learn to just live your life and get over the "guilt". I used to go through this thinking I spent too much or spent too little and should have spent more, etc. In reality, you cannot take it with you. You could die tomorrow. On the other hand, you could live to be 100. So, my point? You don't know either way. So, learn to balance living and enjoying your life AND saving for a rainy day. In the end, what you did or didn't accumulate doesn't matter. What does matter is that you have lived a life worthy to be lived.

[cschin4]

Further, we give at least $4K a year to our church. Sometimes when I write the check I wonder if it is really worth it. We give money to poor families, help the poor, etc. Then on the other hand, there are times when I think I could give more. So, my choice is to just give and then it is out of my hands and I hope it is doing good. Same with the way I also save and spend. When I spend it is because I think it is something useful, practical or not-so practical but enjoyable for my family. I actually prefer to spend money on less tangible things. I used to want to buy "stuff" so I had something to show for my money spent. Now, I prefer experiences over stuff. I would rather spend on a really good meal, travel, going to a show, play or concert, etc. I would rather have the experience in my memory than some trinket made in China that I now have to dust. Since I have shifted my focus, I have found I am having alot more fun in life and am less worried about every penny. Money comes and money goes. You only have one life. And, you also only have a limited time frame to earn your income as age and illness and quickly descend upon you. So, work hard and play hard. Life is a balance. Have fun. Enjoy today and plan for tomorrow. But, don't let money turn you into a stingy, greedy person either. Money is merely a tool that you use throughout your life's journey.

[Slug]

Absolutely, everytime I look at an HD 60 inch flat screen. I know there is no way in heck I'm going to get one of those, but they sure are gorgeous in the store. I guess I'm a bit of a masochist too for even looking. I go home and it turns out I probably get just as much into college basketball games on my 10 yr old TV as I would if I could see the sweat droplets hitting the hardwood...

[Broken Arrow]

Originally Posted by Slug

Absolutely, everytime I look at an HD 60 inch flat screen. I know there is no way in heck I'm going to get one of those, but they are sure are gorgeous in the store. I guess I'm a bit of a masochist too for even looking.

Why would you say there is no way in heck you're going to get one of those? Unless you mean that there is no way in heck you can justify buying one of those?

I'm thinking of trading up some day as well. A small LCD will do, but 1080p. I don't think that's asking too much actually... especially if it also doubles as my computer monitor (which is on the fritz, and about to croak soon). The one I am eyeing at costs $500, but I'm going to wait as long as I can before I have to get it so I can hopefully get one for even less.

[disneysteve]

Sometimes, I think it would be nice to spend like others and enjoy some of the consumer luxuries that those around me enjoy.

Other times, I wish we were more frugal and putting away more for the future than we currently do. I know we aren't nearly as frugal as we were years ago, like when we were first married, and I was perfectly happy then.

So it can go either way depending on the situation.

[maat55]

A good way to release guilt is to give to charity. When people have more than they need giving is good for the soul. One of my personal charities is giving bigger tips than expected. I remember when I was young and how good it felt to get something you didn't expect. Making someones day feels better than buying yourself something alot of the time.

[Russ G]

Like everything in life, it's important to strike a balance. I think that as long as you have your spending/saving balance as you'd like it to be then buying stuff, even as a treat should be guilt-free!

I bought a half price bottle of Champagne for Valentine's day - I can't decide if that's frugal or not!

[TMoney]

Originally Posted by Russ G

Like everything in life, it's important to strike a balance. I think that as long as you have your spending/saving balance as you'd like it to be then buying stuff, even as a treat should be guilt-free!

I bought a half price bottle of Champagne for Valentine's day - I can't decide if that's frugal or not!

It's frugal!

Though I must say i'd rather ask myself if i'm too frugal vs not frugal enough!

[MonkeyMama]

No. I don't mind at all. We save money on the stuff we don't care about so we have plenty to spend on what we do care about.

Someone mentioned Balance, which is really key.

Being frugal and having luxuries are NOT mutually exclusive. I find they go hand in hand.

[Aleta]

There are times that I could spend more, but it has to do mostly with other people. Believe me, my husband would like it better if I wasn't so frugal. I go back and look at where I am now as opposed to where I was years ago and I guess it must have worked. It is true that you do have to have balance. Life is for living. If you're in debt you can't afford to be as generous with yourself. To me being frugal is being aware of not buying everything you want and by carefully shopping and allocating your money to reach your goals.

[Hot dog]

I don't know I am really trying to find a balance. I am trying to be "gazelle intense" with getting my bills paid and I only have one real bill which is a 2nd mortgage and I hear others are putting off paying it to invest. I will just feel better when it is gone and hopefully it will be later this year. I just ask myself will I be able to relax when it is paid or will I just move on to my regular mortgage. I am thinking if I make it all automatic I will be able to let it go cause I'll know it will take card of itself. Meanwhile I never go out to eat or to the movies with my family. We do rent movies and go to the kids basketball games etc. It just seems as the kids get older it is really hard to get them to spend time with you so I have been thinking about going out to dinner as a family more often or at least every once in a while.

[pearlieq]

OP, I understand where you're coming from. I find myself denying myself things that really do make a difference in my life and add to my happiness, because I don't "need" them and therefore can't justify the cost.

A couple of weeks ago I finally broke down and bought some extra laundry baskets. For the longest time we only had 3 and it was a constant irritation that there was never one free when I needed it. This irked me a few times a week for years. Finally I broke down and spent the $25 to get 3 more baskets at Target and I've been amazed and how much happier I feel when doing the laundry. Such a little thing, but it made a difference.

I know it's kind of a dumb example, but I do find myself putting up with irritation to save a few bucks and I'm not convinced that's healthy.

[tifnglen]

Sometimes I do. I NEED new clothes but I am always thinking i could save that money. I havent bought myself clothes in years and they are wearing out. The heels on my shoes seem like they will give out any minute now...

[Hot dog]

A friend of mine just brought me a bunch of hand me downs last night. That is how I get most of my clothes. It is great and they were lands end and chicos. Go to the sencond hand store or some yard sales and get some clothes. The two pairs of black shoes I wear most often cost three dollars each and I have had them a couple years. They were from Kohls and roses. One pair is name brand. You can find clothes inexpensive if you look

[Staceyy]

During these hard economic times, I'm glad I'm as frugal as I am.