Two Questions for the Spenders...

[Caoineag]

How do avoid spending frenzies? And what triggers your spending frenzies?

I think this is really my last big issue to solve. Every couple of months, I will want to go spend and it won't be a small amount. I don't actually spend alot on the day to day but about once every couple of months, I want to spend, spend, and then spend some more.

So far I have been doing well, but the urge has been there for awhile. I am not really sure what my triggers are though I know the holiday season is dangerous because I will see things I like advertised as on sale.

I think the new allowance I am giving myself will help in time but in the meantime I would love to hear from the other spenders in the forum.

[PauletteGoddard]

Starting a new job triggers my spending frenzies.

"New clothes and accessories!"
"It's a two-hour bus ride to work so I better use private transport instead. Think I'll go buy a motorcycle!"

Holiday season triggers my spending frenzies. Several people I am close to are Sagittarians, and my car insurance and some memberships expire in January, so November 23 - January 5 is one big spending hole.

My kitchen triggers my spending frenzies. "I have no teapot!" (I have three tea strainers.) "My dishclothes are ragged and faded!" These are not frequent occurrences, however.

I don't know how to avoid these things. I like working, but maybe I could find a job closer, that I can take a bus to, that doesn't require me to dress up. Holiday season -- not willing to cut my car insurance or gift-giving/card-buying routines.

I avoid my spending frenzies by getting tied up in housework/shopping/spending kwalitytime with the child because he's only young once until it's too cold and dark for me to go shopping, and I think of the crowds and frenzied drivers looking for parking where I want to shop -- they keep me away too.

[PRICEPLUS]

There are a number of things that can trigger spending. Depression, boredom, or a host of other situations!

Keep yourself busy and keep your mind on other things. You should treat yourself every so often so as to reinforce good behavior. Save up for the treat!

[Ima saver]

I never go to a mall! The closest one is 2 hours away, one way.

[Caoineag]

Originally Posted by Ima saver

I never go to a mall! The closest one is 2 hours away, one way.

Its not stores that are the problem for me, I shop online. My thing is books, CD's and electronics, all of which ship very easily.

As to keeping myself busy, it takes two minutes to spend online but hours to spend in a real store. If anything, the busier I am, the more I want to spend. I don't feel as inclined to spend money when I can just go for a nice walk or bike ride. Hence the danger of the christmas season, lots of sales and nothing stress relieving to do because its too cold.

Oh and self deprivation does tend to trigger spending which is why I get an allowance now (before I wasn't allowed to spend anything).

[PrincessPerky]

Try banning online purchases..but allowing yourself to spend at a store..prolly curb your spending dramatically!

And walking in the snow is good for you! or drive around to see Christmas lights..on houses not stores.

My rule of online spending is I have to use my husbands card..came out of when mine wouldn't work for so long, a ton of purchases were unbought cause by the time I nailed him down and me on the computer I forgot what I wanted to buy!

[Coleroo]

hello, my name is lisa and i am a spender.

*sits down quietly*

ok.. well not anymore thanks to this forum. but i still get the original trigger feelings!!! shopping use to give me a high, although now it just usually gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when i think of the better things i could be doing with our cash. my shopping triggers are

anger at someone
sadness / frustration
self-hatred ("i need a new hairdo, my clothes dont fit, blah blah")
ideas for business ventures
self-denial (during our first few months married, my husband use to get weekly cash and i didnt..self imposed..led to mass spending sprees)

i find that when i stay out of stores i dont spend. so i just dont go much anymore and im happier too.

Last year, after we first married and before we ripped the credit cards up in nov. 06, i believe i spent more than $2300 duing my spending sprees (when i succumb to a trigger, i spend big -- 300 to 400$ at a time or more) ... $1500 of which was for supplies for a pet gift basket making business that failed. all of which was put on a credit card!

This year, thankfully, i only succumbed ONCE to a trigger (yay!) - in early august my husband and i had a fight one morning and i left for the day ...spent the entire day shopping for clothes ($160), having french tipped nails put on for the first time ($30) and my hair cut & highlighted ($120). this time around though it was all from surplush cash we had sitting around (which was a wee bit better than a credit card shopping spree).

although that august spending spree wasn't aaaaalllll that terrible - our baby was..uh..produced that very night. :-D

[Caoineag]

Oh, just an update for those who care. My urge to spend has passed. I suspect it was stress induced and it took a couple of days going to the gym to help it pass. Oh, and I didn't spend a dime, just window shopped online alot, lol.

[jasanderson]

I go on lunch hour to buy necessities and if I am stressed out I end up buying crap I don't need. go for dogfood and end up with toys for the kids on clearance. ugh....I need to buckle down.

[Coleroo]

i was just thinking...its weird how i feel like a non-spender and a spender at the same time. i feel like dual persons ...we have our spending in check now but i still feel like im always on the verge of an accident (even though logically i know im not)...like, a part of me feels that if im not very careful i'll revert back to my previous spendaholic self.... so i have to pay close attention to my personal spending triggers.

if that makes sense? i dunno..its late. and im just contemplating these posts.

[Staceyy]

I used to spend a fortune on books until I discovered paperbackswap.com, frugalreader.com, Ebay, halfpricebooks.com and used book stores. I also discovered I could trade my unused airline and hotel points for free magazine and newspaper subscriptions. I've also been able to get free magazine subscriptions from startsampling.com. I now feel foolish for having spent an average of $300 per month for years on books and magazines I could have gotten for free or very low priced. Also don't forget the library.

[jasanderson]

wow - that's a great deal. I used to spend a lot on books too but my library is awesome. I can log on from home and request books to be puton hold. they will email me when they are in. I can also search all the libraries in my state (MN) and have them ordered up to my library if my county doesn't have the book I want. It's been a great $$$ saver.

[Fizgig]

When I have the bizarre urge to shop just for the sake of it (which thankfully isn't very often), it helps me to go "Unshopping".

Unshopping - Digging through closets, drawers, and corners of the house for unused items that are just cluttering up the place. I put them in a box and drop them off at Goodwill.

It's a quick cure for rampant consumerism, declutters the house, and helps people out.

[snafu]

Do you keep a journal? It might be helpful to write a couple of words on a piece of paper designated 'journal' for those spendy moments. You might discover a reason like low blood sugar [in need of a snack], emotional response to outsider, issue beyond your control etc.

[Cassandra]

Do you shop with your friends? I love my friends dearly but I've learned that I can't shop with them if I want to stick to a budget. They don't mean to make me spend more, but if I'm iffy about something, they usually end up convincing me to buy it. ("It looks great on you.... it's an investment piece... you don 't have anything like it and you could wear it to so many different places... ")

And yet, I'm going shoe shopping today with two of my biggest shoe loving friends.

Cassandra

[Landwatch]

Whenever I feel like spending money on buying something that is not a need, I start off a debate with myself, while I keep walking away from the thing. This has helped me a lot many times and later I compliment myself with a nice hot chocolate fudge with nuts. This way I spend less and even feel wiser;-))

[mahanda]

wanting to please my children and grandchildren usually trigger my spending sprees--i rarely splurge on myself.
instead of money i am trying to spend time instead
for the kids i do walks to park or library, bus rides to waterfront
if i feel the urge come on for myself, i take the time to care of whatever i already have - today i cleaned the handing light fixture in the livingroom and put a couple pictures in frames i had sitting around
d

[bishop]

I think you said you have an allowance for yourself, right? That's a great step...when my wife and i started our budget, we put in "blow" money, because we knew we were going to spend some money on something, so we better plan on having some cash to do it with (so as not to screw up the rest of the budget). We set an amount each month, and half was hers/ half was mine. We could spend it or save it for a bigger purchase, for ANYTHING, without feeling guilty or having to ask the other if it was ok to spend the money. Knowing it was there to just spend, helped, because we did not feel we were completely denying ourselves.

[Rick01]

Originally Posted by PRICEPLUS

There are a number of things that can trigger spending. Depression, boredom, or a host of other situations!

Keep yourself busy and keep your mind on other things. You should treat yourself every so often so as to reinforce good behavior. Save up for the treat!

I agree, and I think there may be some of that here. I've dealt with bi-polar for years. When I was younger, I would go on small shopping sprees to get back into the high zone. Doesn't work for me anymore though.

[Caoineag]

Originally Posted by bishop

I think you said you have an allowance for yourself, right? That's a great step...when my wife and i started our budget, we put in "blow" money, because we knew we were going to spend some money on something, so we better plan on having some cash to do it with (so as not to screw up the rest of the budget). We set an amount each month, and half was hers/ half was mine. We could spend it or save it for a bigger purchase, for ANYTHING, without feeling guilty or having to ask the other if it was ok to spend the money. Knowing it was there to just spend, helped, because we did not feel we were completely denying ourselves.

Yup, that's why I have recently given myself an allowance. Originally my budget had no splurge money so I would feel denied. I agree that an allowance helps alot.