Stay @ home mom money question

[mom-from-missouri]

How do you stay at home moms keep your money? I will be in this situation in a few months for the first time in my life,
and we will be having to make some decisions re garding money and such. Any ideas as to what way is best?? Is it best to have him give you a set amount of money each payday and keep it in your own account, or do you share a checkbook??

With my first husband, I could not share a checkbook with him as he never wrote any checks down. What he earned went to his account, & what I earned went to my account, and we each knew what bills we were responsible for each month. (We were still listed on each others accounts though)

But, this time around, I won't have any income-at least for now. We plan on me staying at home, to be available for the children. But, I will be planting a large garden (starting out with about 2 acres this first year-already plowed it) and getting chickens, ducks, turkeys, pigs and adding more cows. I will later get an income from what I sell, but that won't be till down the road aways, and I want to keep that income seperate anyway for tax purposes. (I want to try my hand at organic farming and the farmers market).

I don't want to deal in cash--I like that extra receipt of a debit card or cancelled check--for security and fraud protection, and for me it is easier to track.

How do you gals handle it, and what are the pro's and con's of your methods?? Thanks

[faspina]

I am not a gal, but the guy. My wife does not work. Sorry. Hopefully you'll accept my answer anyway.

I handle all the bills. everything we do is on the computer with MS Money. Unfortunatly my wife won't look at it. So the concequence is that everytime she goes to the grocery store or to get something for the kids. I have to tell her how much to spend and what method to use. She often calls me from the store and says, I am spending this month is it ok. Things get tight toward the end of the pay period and sometime we have to use the credit card. I will let her know that ahead of time. It was her choice because she does not want to take the time to look at it on a daily basis, so that task falls to me.

With 4 kids it is harder to budget so you have to have some flexibility. Birthdays, new shoes, lessons can wreck a budget. Since she is responsibly for scheduling these things, I have to go to her often and say what kind of money do we need this month. Again, it is her choice that it works this way and it works for us.

I get the paycheck bi-weekly. I pay the smaller bills, set aside money for savings and the bigger bills like mortgage and 6 month insurance premiums in another checking account. This works good because I know that the mortage money, savings and everything else will be there when I need it.

With MS MONEY I basically and balancing the checkbook everyday by downloading my transaction. It lets me keep a handle on it and keeps us from blowing the budget.

I won't buy anything over $50 unless I tell her and she will do the same. The exception is our biweekly trip to costco or the grocery store.

My suggestion is that you sit down now and delgate responsibility now at least to a point. I like the two account approach, it helps us to budget and to not eat out so often when we know we have money to spend. Also put it on the computer so that you can see where the money is going.

[DivaJen]

DH writes every other check over to me. He pays the mortgage, saves for property taxes and a few minor bills. I pay for everything else and maintain the savings accounts. We have always had separate checking accounts - works for us. Communication is key to us - we both know exactly how much we earn and how much we spend month to month. No secrets.

[jodi]

I'm not exactly a stay-at-home mom anymore... but DH is now a student, so I guess you could call him the stay-at-home dad! We have both been a stay-at-home parent at times over the past year and this is how we work things out:
All checks go into either our checking/savings account or emergency fund savings account, depending on if we need the cash right away or not. I keep the checkbook and we both have debit and credit cards (DH hardly ever writes checks - when he knows he will need one, he will get it from me). For any major purchases ($50 or more), DH will ask me what card to use - otherwise, he uses his debit card. I log onto our account every 3-4 days to check the balance, keep up with the debits, and transfer money from savings if need be. I have found this method much, much easier than trying to get DH to remember to tell me every expenditure. I think it does help to have one person manage the money, rather than both trying to keep up on it. In our family, that happens to be me because DH would never remember. I personally think it's important for both people to have access to the money, to not be dependent on the other for it - JMO. This is what works for us. But I would definitely recommend an account with a debit card and online banking.
Congrats on being home!

[Firefly]

I am a SAHW and we have a budget that we both created together. Then we go through it and adjust it as needed if we need more money. We are able to put a decent amount into savings this way and still pay all our bills. We have a joint checking account. We ask each other before we spend anything over $100.

[PrincessPerky]

I am a SAHM and I do the paperwork, but before DH goes to the store I tell him what is availible, course he is usually right there so the optional money he was in on paying. meaning when we had a CC payment before I sent it I would say we have X amount how about we send Y leaving us with Z for groceries and gas till payday. (now it will hopefully be extra to the house not cc but same result)

corse we have no real 'discrecionary spending' but then we are broke we do splurge together, but not much. I would say less than 50 joint a month, and usually half planned (fries with peanut butter sandwhiches when out)

[nanamom]

I am a SAHM who does the bills. When we got married DH had over 60,000 in CC debt and I was debt free. He decided I could do it better. We are working on getting debt free and he is starting to comment and plan quite well. It was hard for him to get used to a budget. One of the cons of our method is his lack of knowledge about our finances (at first). He is better now though. If it ends up being only one of you doing the bills find a system where the other is made aware and has a voice in how everything is spent. Maybe a weekly meeting or just looking over the records every month or week. A different account for the farm stuff you do sounds like a good idea.

[flash]

Originally Posted by nanamom

I am a SAHM who does the bills. When we got married DH had over 60,000 in CC debt and I was debt free. .

Nanamom, I commend you for taking that challenge on. I'd be terrified of 60K in cc's. Hope you will tell us how you are doing on it sometime.

[Lemony]

I'm mostly a SAHM (I have a paper delivery job in the mornings, but it hardly qualifies as a career ). Paychecks are deposited into one joint account, and I manage all the finances. When DH deposits his check he takes out $100 cash and that lasts him the month. I budget the rest, leaving plenty in the account for debit card purchases like gas and groceries.

DH goes over the details with me about once per month, usually right before his next payday so he knows where we stand.

[frugalfarmwife]

Ok first 2 acres? WOW, you're ambitious, go for it! I also garden and have sold small scale, will be doing farmers markets this year, I also raise our beef and have chickens.

In our household I handle ALL finances, hubby is financially challenged, lol, I took over day one and it just works best for both of us, he trusts me fully and I can sleep at night knowing all the bills are paid. I do occasionally chase hubby down and give him a quick run down on how we're doing but really he's happy as long as he has a $5 in his pocket and his lunch bucket is well filled every morning when he heads to work.

KJ

[dwallyfam]

My husband doesn't want to deal with the finances. He'd rather be tinkering with something in the garage. He knows that if I am sleeping well, we are doing okay. If I am havng trouble sleeping he wants to know why.

[Snoopy2645]

My dh works ft & I work just pt I make anywhere from $100-$200 a week so he makes the majority of the money he has his own bills come straight out of his check like his truck payment & then he takes what he needs for gas fills up on payday & then takes what he needs to eat on gives me the rest.

I am not happy sometimes being in control of the money he calls me a grinch but then says we would be living on the streets if he was in control of the money & I know this he is a spender I am a saver!!! When I met dh he was flat broke living with his dad, I was a single mom living alone with my daughter with no help from anyone & never did get help not from the state or my ex & I was only 18 & we made the exact same he knew I was better with money than him thier was no question.

I hate being known as the grinch sometimes but we have so many friends who are so broke they have to sale thier house & file BK he thanks me that we have never had to do that & he knows we never will have too!! I tell him I will gladly hand it all over to him to control & he dont want it so guess I will keep being the bookeeper for us.

[Tree0164]

My husband is the main bread winner and I have my own business-brings in about 1/4-1/2 his income. We pool our money and I do all the bills, and money management. I do keep my husband in the loop.

[shelbylovesmelby]

I give dh a set amt & it goes straight to his own checking account. IF he spends it all he has to check w/ me to find out "if" there is anything extra in my budget.

I also have a spread sheet set up for my weekly bills as dh is paid weekly. So I set aside $ from each check for the big items & then list the small ones on the week prior to the date due. That's worked really well for us that way I know if I need to go to savings and move $ for anything if we fall short that week.

Good luck OP with the farming & your budget.

[Ima saver]

I too handle all the money in the family. I pay my husband once a week, on Mondays and take it all in cash. I use the envelope method and budget everything for the week. He gets an allowance of $60 and he has to buy his own gas. I get a larger allowance but I pay for everything else. I have never used a debit card in my life or an atm.

[CJsoccerchic]

Ima saver - not that I don't think that credit cards are the devil - but maybe getting one might be a good idea. Like one that pays YOU back. If you are already knowing how much you will spend each month and don't go over it, you can get a cfredit card and pay each monthe the full amount - I to am debtfree and only have one credit card. Payin git off each month has been great - I got a whole bunch of points and could have gotten cash value - but I got a gift certificate to Tiffany & co. instead. And it didn't cost me a dime to get it. I don't pay credit card fees and I have never been late so interest is not an object for me. Just an idea I'd thought you might sorta like...

[CJsoccerchic]

For all other moms - how about ebaying stuff you don't need around the house anymore? or half.com and sell all your books that you read and won't read again!

[PrincessPerky]

My Mom Ebays and Half.com, I am kindof eh about it, but when I come accross something worth money (or that I think is worth money) I set it aside for my mom to ebay, if it makes money great, if not, well good thing she likes me

[living_in_oz]

This is one of my first actual posts! I hope I'm doing it okay!LOL

From frugalfarmwife:

In our household I handle ALL finances, hubby is financially challenged, lol, I took over day one and it just works best for both of us, he trusts me fully and I can sleep at night knowing all the bills are paid. I do occasionally chase hubby down and give him a quick run down on how we're doing but really he's happy as long as he has a $5 in his pocket and his lunch bucket is well filled every morning when he heads to work.

This is exactly how our house runs! Actually, DH rarely has over $3 in his pocket!LOL Luckily, both DH and I are very frugal people and we support each other completely. He likes to work and make the money...I like to take care of the house and the kids.

In my house, all the money goes into the checking account except for $100 a week. Believe it or not, I buy all of the groceries, HBA, children's allowance, and "household needs" with that weekly $100. BTW, I have 3 kids along with my hubby. I pay in cash for all of these things, and when the money is gone...it's gone. I have to wait until Friday(payday) to get another $100. Keep in mind that I live in rural Kansas. Our prices and housing costs are low. Plus, local farmers keep my freezer stocked with beef and pork(hubby usually barders for it by working on machinery etc for local farmers).
All of the money in the checking account goes to pay our bills, and whatever is left goes towards paying off some debt that we accummulated on our credit cards to pay for some medical and dental bills.

Living on one income isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile is, IMO. We actually look at it as a challenge and have a lot of fun finding out how cheaply we can do things. It helps that DH and I have the same goals. It would be hard to have spouse who didn't

[Thrifty Ray]

All of our income goes into a joint account and I am the one who pays the bills, etc.

We each have a separate rewards credit card (He has Cabella's for the free merchandise and I have a cash reward card) that we use for most of the expenses each month- we have a budget that we stick to and then the cards are (usually) PIF at the end of each month. (Sometimes DH 'forgets' about the budget....grrrr)

In addition, DH gets an allowance for gas and misc. ($80 per week) and I get a smaller allowance ($20), which I often dont even use.

We try to figure out ways to earn money for extra's like his dunes trips (saves pop-cans and does side jobs) and fun money at holidays (I craft and bake)...that way, we don't dip into the family budget money unless we have to.

We have a Christmas account that we are diligent about contributing to each week- no more charging ANYTHING for Christmas.

And we have a separate account that we keep money in for insurance, birthdays, vacations, home repairs, medical bills, and miscellaneous. This also gets a weekly deposit with a set amount deposited for each line item...it takes the pain out of those occaisional expenses.

We rarely eat out. I have learned to make all of our 'restaraunt favorites' at home.
We rarely rent movies...we have satellite and can always find something fun to watch.
We heat our home with firewood that we process.

My DH trusts me to take care of the money and doesn't really think about it so long as he can 'forget' once in a while (smile)