Saving on bills in secret?

baselle: Everything for my computer is plugged into a surge protector. If I turn that off, would it be sufficient, or does it need to be literally unplugged from the wall to have any effect? I'm asking because the outlet is somewhat hard to get to, but if it really makes that big of a difference vs. turning off the power strip, I'll see if I can move it somewhere else.

cercis & PrincessPerky: That's very true... Maybe I can switch them with bulbs in the kitchen/living room as they go out... and use the CF's in my room, the living room, and my bathroom.

acezz4e_tish: Wow, that is a huge difference in price. Umm, what is "Fred's"? I don't know if we have one of those around here. Any other suggestions for where I might find them inexpensive? Also, they have an electric dryer... but I have a clothes drying rack I purchased years ago, so I try to do small loads daily(they have many settings on their washer: extra small, small, medium, large, and extra large, so it regulates how much water is used)... and then use the clothes drying rack to air dry my clothes. I realize a laundry mat would cut their cost completely, but I think his mother would get upset if she noticed we were doing that... and considering one of his parents is always here because they work opposite shifts, they'd definitely find out. I think at least not using the dryer should help some.

Snoopy2645: Thanks for the tip. Actually, his parents work opposite shifts... so unfortunately we're pretty much never alone here, haha. Maybe if they ever leave for the weekend or vacation or something without us, I might try it.

Originally Posted by Bluezy

Quite simple actually. Pay towards the monthly bills. You are saving a tremendous amount of money in this situation and these parents have been generous to a fault. You will still be able to save money, and it sounds as if you have been living frugally.

Actually, they refuse to accept any money from us. The whole point of them inviting us to live here was so we could save money up for our own place after I graduate. They won't take any money from me directly, so that's why I was trying to simply cut back on what we're costing them. It's not much help, but it's gotta help some.

[acezz4e_tish]

http://www.fredsinc.com/ its like dollar general or family dollar.

[cercis]

I don't think washing smaller loads would save much money. It still uses the same amount of electricity. I'm not sure if not using the dryer off sets that or not.

Originally Posted by cercis

I don't think washing smaller loads would save much money. It still uses the same amount of electricity. I'm not sure if not using the dryer off sets that or not.

Well, then I guess that's just one area I'm going to have to live with, because the laundry mat is not an option for me without upsetting people, and I want them to be happy while we're here, not upset.

Originally Posted by acezz4e_tish

http://www.fredsinc.com/ its like dollar general or family dollar.

Hmm, well it looks like the closest Freds to me would be almost 40 miles away Maybe dollar general/family dollar might have them? We have many of those around here.

[PrincessPerky]

but if you take your clothes to the laundry mat will they notice? I think I would feel bad if a houseguest did that, kindof confirming they don't want to tell you about their bills cause you might leave and stuff.

BTW can you 'fail' to hand over a grocery reciept? if so pay it (assuming you have the loot)

[kashi]

I think you're doing great, lisasayzhi. What lucky in-laws, to have such a conscientious future daughter-in-law (and they don't even know it because you are so sneaky!).

Originally Posted by PrincessPerky

but if you take your clothes to the laundry mat will they notice? I think I would feel bad if a houseguest did that, kindof confirming they don't want to tell you about their bills cause you might leave and stuff.

BTW can you 'fail' to hand over a grocery reciept? if so pay it (assuming you have the loot)

Yes, they probably would notice because one of them is always here. I'd just feel bad if they found out about it, and I know they'd feel bad that I felt bad, and yes, that's not helping anyone.

I actually have failed to hand over a grocery receipt once because it was a small amount, but I can't afford to do that too often.

[PrincessPerky]

stick with the 'secret stuff' and know you are infinatly better than any time Ive been a house guest!

[flash]

First of all, you didn't say what DH thought about all this. You are living with HIS parents. Sit down with your husband and talk to him about it. If he also feels uncomfortable, sit down with his parents and let them know your concerns, with a specific offer to contribute xxx to them a month.

But think of this. They have offered to have you live there so that YOU can save money. They aren't frugal. Their son has agreed to this arrangement. They may be WANTING to do this for you, their gift to you and your future, and your "guilt" may be unwarranted.

When I was first married, coming from dirt poverty into a very wealthy family, I was very uncomfortable. We would drive the two hours to visit once a month or so, and DH's mom would FILL our car with bags of groceries, towels, whatever she happened to find when she shopped. I was horrified and embarassed, but DH was fine with it. It came from his parents heart. They WERE frugal, but they wanted to take care of us.

We did stop the flow after around 6 months, but giving us that start, while we were in grad school, was a huge blessing.

See what DH says.

[nanamom]

On of the ways to pay them back is to do the same for your kids some day. I want to do things for my kids but can't afford much. What I can I hope they return by helping out my grandkids when I am too old or gone.

[baselle]

Originally Posted by lisasayzhi

baselle: Everything for my computer is plugged into a surge protector. If I turn that off, would it be sufficient, or does it need to be literally unplugged from the wall to have any effect? I'm asking because the outlet is somewhat hard to get to, but if it really makes that big of a difference vs. turning off the power strip, I'll see if I can move it somewhere else.

Yep, that would be sufficient, esp if you also have your monitor and other items (printer, scanner, etc) on the surge protector also.

Originally Posted by baselle

Yep, that would be sufficient, esp if you also have your monitor and other items (printer, scanner, etc) on the surge protector also.

Yep, it's ALL on the surge protector. Thanks!

Originally Posted by flash

First of all, you didn't say what DH thought about all this. You are living with HIS parents. Sit down with your husband and talk to him about it. If he also feels uncomfortable, sit down with his parents and let them know your concerns, with a specific offer to contribute xxx to them a month.

But think of this. They have offered to have you live there so that YOU can save money. They aren't frugal. Their son has agreed to this arrangement. They may be WANTING to do this for you, their gift to you and your future, and your "guilt" may be unwarranted.

When I was first married, coming from dirt poverty into a very wealthy family, I was very uncomfortable. We would drive the two hours to visit once a month or so, and DH's mom would FILL our car with bags of groceries, towels, whatever she happened to find when she shopped. I was horrified and embarassed, but DH was fine with it. It came from his parents heart. They WERE frugal, but they wanted to take care of us.

We did stop the flow after around 6 months, but giving us that start, while we were in grad school, was a huge blessing.

See what DH says.

He does think we should at least help out around the house, as far as cleaning goes. Yes, they are very generous, and frequently used to buy groceries for us when we lived on our own. The thing is, I just don't like to feel like I'm taking advantage of someone, and if there is something I can do to feel like it's a slightly smaller burden on them, I would like to do it. The goal is for us to save up money while we're living here. That's why I don't want to do anything that will really cost me money, because that would go against why we're living here. However, anything I can do to make their lives a little better since they're being so wonderful to us, I would like to try it.

[acezz4e_tish]

i would keep asking them what the bills are, how much have they went up while u have been there and explain things you can do to save them some money, and to keep you posted if the bills decrease any that you know you have done something you did the right way. but all you have to do is turn the bar off, you dont have to unplug it, thats why there is an on off switch. my modem dont shut off unless i turn that bar off, so when i turn the bar off and see all the lights off on the modem, i know its all off. i have four surge bars in my living room, which is where my pc is as well. my pc has one exclusive to its use, my tv/dvd/vcr/cablebox has one, my lamps and lighted cabinet has another. then i have one in the corner, i use that for all my vaccuums and shampooer. i dont reccommend my shampooer tho. it dont do all that gr8, i guess for routine maintence it would be fine, but for whole house use, its not the best. its a bissel quicksteamer. my mom has one too, its twice the size at least of mine and it works gr8, but the small one same size of a regular vaccuum its not so gr8 unless you do a room daily for maintenence. it dont do well on spots, i have tried everything it cleans best wtih he tide tho of all things im using that now it cleans better then bissel or other shampoos, but still the motion of the tiny scrubbers its not doing well, plus it has no attachements for furniture. i have a rainbow and a eureka boss as well. the kids like the eureka its easy for them to use, its like a vaccuum but wtih the dustbuster part. i love my rainbow, i need to find the furniture attachement tho. im need to clean the electrical hose too, any suggestions id love to hear, i take the non electrical to the car wash and spray it out, but im sure i shouldnt do that with the electrical one. the only vaccuum guy here in town charges twice the price for parts, i checked on that wtih rainbow by emailing them and one of their reps calling me on the phone. he reconditions rainbows and sell s them for 500 dollars, i dont feel thats worth it, i wont pay him 100 to clean my hose, so if anyone has a rainbow and has a suggestion id love to hear it.

[acezz4e_tish]

Originally Posted by cercis

I don't think washing smaller loads would save much money. It still uses the same amount of electricity. I'm not sure if not using the dryer off sets that or not.

if this was in re of my post, i meant getting wash done at a laundrymat, gets done all at once and done quicker and saves at the house from the bills. id be willing to bet, it prolly saves more to do just thier laundry and bedding at a laundrymat, then to do it at the house. your laundry and your bedding, two big loads at the laundrymat, 6 dollars tops, all done at one time, rather then an all day event several wash loads at home while doing other chores. the big washers take 45 mins, you could run an errand or sit there and catch up on homework or reading in general. then when you get home, make your bed, put other stuff away and that chore is all done. plus whatever u did during the 45 min wash time was is also done, like homework. now you can concentrate on dinner and such. since ive been sick all week, ill be doing my laundry at the mat instead of having 20 loads in front of the washer. which would take me 2 days to do, ill do it in an hour at the laundry mat.

[cercis]

No tish, it was in response to her saying she would do smaller loads and use her drying rack.

The problem with the laundromat is that the parents will notice and it is expensive, which defeats the parents' purpose of having them stay there.

[acezz4e_tish]

Well all we can do is give our ideas, its all in the end up to them how and what they do. I just feel being open and honest is your best avenue. Have a discussion during dinner, ask questions and express how you feel. Im sure that they would respect it. I wish you the best of luck. huggellzz.

Well, after living here for almost 9 months, things are starting to go downhill. I still secretly help out by turning off and unplugging anything that I can as long as it doesn't affect them, because they've gotten angry when they've come home to the house not being a freezer and no lights being on. So, I mostly do these things in my room. However, lately they've been getting very demanding with us. I got a new job recently, but I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure that I got it, so I also asked my fiance not to say anything. However, I just told his mother yesterday that I got the job (and yesterday was my first day). Then later, I came in the kitchen to hear her yelling at him for not telling her sooner. I explained to her why I asked him to wait to say anything but she was still furious. I don't understand. I'm not their daughter, I don't see how they really need to know.

But anyways, I also have problems doing laundry because I work the same hours as his dad (3pm-11pm) so most days the only time I can do laundry is in the morning before work. However, his dad gets very angry at me when I do laundry when he's home because he hate's hearing the machine run. I've explained to him that I'd be happy to wait, but I'm not home when he's not home either, and my fiance has to work evenings too so he can't just do it for me then.

Another thing... they've started piling more and more orders on us for housework and things to do. We already regularly wash dishes and clean the house, but now they're expecting us to mow the lawn all the time as well. We already were alternating with his dad, taking turns mowing it, but now they want us to do it all. It just frustrates me because we already work so much and Monday I start back to school and will be gone from 6am-11:30pm nearly EVERY day working and at school. I don't have time to meet their every demand.

Thus, we're starting to look into moving out. We tried to a month or 2 ago, but they got upset and told us it wasn't smart to move out while we were living rent free, and still had debt. I agree totally, but they make it feel as though we've worn out our welcome. I want to talk to them about it, but my fiance doesn't want me to because his mom tends to freak out when you try to talk to her (yelling, crying, going histerical). I just wish there were some other answer. If we can't talk to them about it, then we either have to make them angrier and angrier that we just physically can't meet all their expectations, or we move out.

The problem with moving out however, is me. I'm still in college so my parents claim me on their taxes. They don't help me out financially at all, but if I don't let them claim me and get the tax break, then they won't sign the FAFSA (Free Application For Student financial Aid) so I can get loans and grants for college (though the grants they let me accept are ONLY in my name, not theirs). It's a whole complicated situation, but the apartments around here are income based,.. which is great! But they don't want to consider me because of my dependent status. Also, they expect rent to be only 30% of your income... and neither of us make that much. We can afford it, I mean rent is $300 less a month here than it was where we lived previously. But the landlords don't think we can afford it, so they don't want us to live there.

Anyways, this has been an extremely long post, but if anyone would care to offer advice, I'd appreciate it.

[med12]

Wow...I'm so sorry things have gone downhill like that. Maybe what you need to do is talk to your fiance and figure out your plan. Then, call a "family meeting" Tell them exactly what you've written in your post as far as the demands, etc. Maybe work out that you will start paying them rent instead of doing all the additional housework? Is there anyway you can do your laundry on the weekends?

I feel for you - I lived with DH's parents for 3 months and it was the LONGEST 3 months of my life. I give you a lot of credit for getting this far with them. Maybe if you guys all sit down and get it all out in the open, things will improve and you can stick it out.

Good luck!