Baby Gender

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Do you want to know the gender of your baby? Would you find out?

Yesterday I had my 1st trimester u/s screen and it went great. Nice size and doing well.

Given the stat 93% sure it's a girl!

I won't know for certain until 20 wks u/s but the doctor said he's 93% right based on angle of dangle. Don't paint nursery.

But did you find out, or would you want to know?

Hey I'm a planner, I plan everything. I couldn't help but want to know. It didn't matter what sex by the way, it was just finding out.

[disneysteve]

We did not want to know. Call us old-fashioned, but we think the time to learn the sex is when the baby comes out in the delivery room. There is simply no reason to know before then. We did the nursery with a nice maroon carpet and yellow walls. The bedding was classic Pooh in neutral colors. It would have worked just fine for a boy or a girl and then we were able to adjust after she was born to make it a little more feminine.

[simpleyme]

on my first child I did not find I was just as okay either way,we had no money so it did not mater we did not need to paint a nursery as we only had one room ,we had a boy and was very happy
second time I wanted a girl ,we found out baby was a boy ,I was unhappy,but happy still,make sense?
the 3rd time I did not want to find out as it was too much for me and not fair to baby boy for mom to want a girl ! but at about 6 months they told me it was a girl I did not really believe it untill I held her in my arms ;-)

now I am reminding myself every time my sweet teenage daughter gets moody about how much I wanted her ;-)

[MonkeyMama]

I don't understand the waiting thing. Though no one told us the sex in first trimester - that is awesome. Ah, technology! I guess I don't know why you wouldn't find out if you could. Just like I loved the amazing detail we saw on the ultrasound. MAkes it more "Real." Though I don't think I could care about the gender otherwise. It was just nice to refer to the baby as he/she, as opposed to "it."

I certainly liked knowing, but it was a bit of a double edged sword. I knew a couple of people who were told 100% one way or the other - and it was WRONG. Everyone will tell you they never mistake a boy for a girl, but I cam vouch that it happens both ways. Thus, we went with very gender neutral nursery and clothing, etc. Just in case. Also in case we had a baby of the opposite sex later, etc.

The double edged sword was relatives drowned us in blue clothing and when we picked a potential name we recieved all sort of personalized gifts - though we clearly stated we were not 100% sure on name. I didn't feel it was appropriate to name the baby before we saw him. WE actually had a completely different name picked out before we saw the ultrasound and changed our minds - his "look" just didn't fit the first name we picked.

If I could do it all over again I wouldn't tell anyone else anything. Hehe. Though we liked knowing ourselves. PArticularly since they were correct in the end! IF you can't handle a switcheroo, wait until delivery.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

You might have other people whining at you if you don't find out the sex. We did not want to know when I was pregnant 23 years ago, but even that long ago the majority of people wanted to know. Some of your friends and family will want to know because they will want to tailor gifts to a boy or girl. These are the ones who might think you are really weird not to want to know and who might even whine about it a bit.

I do not think there is any reason to start bringing in sex tailored objects into a baby's environment. There is no need to start bringing in trucks, trains, blue, and chubby plastic hammer-shaped rattles NOR lace-tutu'ed fairies, ruffles, pink, and glittery voile pom-pommed curtains. Your baby will figure out over time what sex he or she is just fine. Maybe adults are sometimes uncomfortable not being able to tell what sex an infant is without a peek in the diaper. But I never found that important enough to outfit a nursery and wardrobe geared to my baby's sex.

I was practical about my baby's clothing and surroundings. Before he was crawling, he wore mostly just a diaper and t-shirts or onesie when warm and a sleeper when it was cold. We had almost all white sleepers, onesies, and t-shirts at that time. That made laundry simpler. As baby began to crawl it was harder to find white. By that time he was mostly wearing hand-me-downs from a girl cousin. At that time there was still a lot of baby girl clothes in the stores that were not pink and purple, and were gender neutral. I don't have the impression that that is much the case anymore. But at the time, the girl cousin and yard sales had much to offer that no one would say was specifically girl or boy. We did buy some multipacks of fleece sleepers in winter and got a mix of colors. My husband (who as an artist is color sensitive) and I thought our baby boy happened to look beautiful in his pink sleepers.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'm not sure what color palate we're going with honestly, I'm leaning yellow and green.

But I know I couldn't wait. It's a guess until 20 weeks with the next ultrasound, I couldn't care less about the sex but it's cool knowing.

[nmboone]

I for some reason love giving my opinion on this even though I've never had a child. I think that even though it might be cool to know beforehand, I don't think I would want to know! My mom never knew beforehand for 3 kids and I think I would do the same. I used to think entirely opposite, and would wonder why people wouldn't want to know! I guess it's because I'm a little older now and I don't know why people have to assume colors to the sexes of babies. Also I would want a complete surprise, like a present, lol! I would just ask for unisex colors at a baby shower I suppose, though because you know everyone would be whining about it. Even when I know if someone's baby is going to be a girl or boy I get light green things because I love the color!

Also it seems EVERYONE has to know the sex nowadays! I would just want to be different I guess.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by Joan.of.the.Arch

You might have other people whining at you if you don't find out the sex.

That's just too darn bad for them. They'll have to wait and find out, just like we waited to find out. Somehow, when you are pregnant, everyone else feels the right to insert themselves into your private business to an often disturbing level. I've never quite understood that.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Boy (or girl?), do I agree with that observation, Disneysteve!

[PrincessPerky]

We were unable to find out for two, knew with 90% certainty for 2..either way was fine, we still only referred to baby as baby until birth.

I have nothing against finding out, but I also have no objection to not knowing, there is so much to learn about your own child, it is worth getting to know them .

As to 'girling' up the room...I do tell my kids here in America we have some silly social rules to follow..cause there is no reason to try and pretend you are different from the way you are made. But I also tell them the rules are arbitrary. (Many men in other cultures wear what are essentially dresses)

Babies dressed in pink from head to toe will still get asked "boy or girl?" While older siblings with "I'm the big brother" will get asked the same! So get used to the question..I guess it might stop eventually, not sure though.

[moneybags]

With our first we did not find out. With our 2nd we did. I preferred not knowing. I equated it with peeking at your Christmas presents. When I was a kid, I would peek, then not be satisfied on Christmas morning. Kind of like "why did I look?".

[zakity]

I knew with all three. The oldest I wanted to know. He was supposed to be an only. Well, with the twins, we needed to know so we could be prepared. Since they were both boys, they got specific colors, one got blue and the other got green, yellow, white with blue trim, etc. It made life easier. Even though they are fraternal, you are so exhausted that first year that we it was easier to remember that you changed the blue baby and the green one needed changed still.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I never peeked at christmas presents. I don't think I unfortunately have the patience to wait. We might not tell people so we don't get color coded gifts.

Twins would be cute.

[disneysteve]

Originally Posted by zakity

Well, with the twins, we needed to know so we could be prepared.

I'm curious why you needed to know. What did you do before birth that required knowing the sexes?

Not you personally zakity, but it amuses me when I hear people say they "had" to know the sex in advance. Geez. It hasn't been that many years that the technology has been around to fairly accurately predict the sex. Somehow, people managed for thousands of years not knowing until delivery.

[cicy33]

Here is what I found amazing. my daughter is pregnant and due in February. She found something on the net that said they could predict the baby's gender by doing a simple test. I don't recall the test now. Within 1 month of conception! She knows it is silly and yet wanted to do it! I told her, sure honey they are right. 50% of the time! Considering that generally most people find out by 6 months what is the big deal. I was also one of those that did not find out until birth. (though I just KNEW she was a girl) That was 24 years ago.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Is that the PCR test on someone's blood? I thought about doing it at work, but decided it would be too weird.

[goldentraders]

gender doesn't really matter to me, but people around were just too excited then... I haven't had any test to make sure what the gender of my baby is, but in laws knew it was a girl based on the roundness of my tummy and my traits that they have observed during my pregnancy. It's weird but i don't know...

[cptacek]

Originally Posted by disneysteve

Somehow, when you are pregnant, everyone else feels the right to insert themselves into your private business to an often disturbing level. I've never quite understood that.

My sister said her biggest pet peeve was when strangers would come up to her and rub her belly and comment on how big she was. She said she wanted to return the favor by patting them on their big asses and comment on how far along that is coming, too!

[Lori63]

I didn't know with the first two, but knew with the third. I had two boys, and knew number three would be the last, so I wanted to know ahead of time. I was hoping for a girl and got my third son. I was surprised that I wasn't really upset at all-I thought I would be.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I am going to take anyone's hand or other body part off if they touch my belly. Someone kissed my pregnant coworkers belly when she was like 9 months, and hell if that person tries it on me, they'll be sporting a black eye.