Sex

Well Spent · #1 (**permalink**) 05-28-2009, 04:25 PM

.........

mommyof4 · #2 (**permalink**) 05-28-2009, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Well Spent

At what point in a romantic relationship do you believe you can trust the person enough to begin the sexual relationship? In other words, how much time should you take to make the decision?

When you're married. (Seriously).

disneysteve · #3 (**permalink**) 05-28-2009, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Well Spent

how much time should you take to make the decision?

As much time as you both need to agree that it is the right decision. If neither of you is ready, it is not the right time. If one of you is ready and the other isn't, it is not the right time. It is impossible for anyone to give a more specific answer than that.

MonkeyMama · #4 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 07:55 AM

Well said, Disney Steve.

Highly individual question (depending on both people, and the particular relationship).

I personally go with the gut. What does your gut feeling really say? Hormones aside...

Broken Arrow · #5 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 08:16 AM

I just want to say that I've been a good boy so far. Yep. Not gonna say anything in this thread. Yep. No... sly remarks. Nope....

Seriously though, what Steve said.

Well Spent · #6 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 03:50 PM

Thanks everybody.

disneysteve · #7 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Well Spent

I'm thinking about 3 months is a good amount of time to evaluate if I can trust a partner.

It has absolutely nothing to do with time. You may know in a week that someone is the right one for you. You may date someone for years before discovering that it just isn't working. Forget trying to set a date and just focus on getting to know each other and building a relationship, if there is one there to build. Besides, what if the other person set a date of 6 months?

hmd2009 · #8 (**permalink**) 05-29-2009, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disneysteve

It has absolutely nothing to do with time. You may know in a week that someone is the right one for you. You may date someone for years before discovering that it just isn't working. Forget trying to set a date and just focus on getting to know each other and building a relationship, if there is one there to build. Besides, what if the other person set a date of 6 months?

I agree with Steve.

I'm not an advocate of waiting until marriage. Sex is something that you need to know if your compatible with that person before making a lifetime commitment.

When your both ready, then that is the time. There is no arbitrary time that someone can pull out of the air.

Well Spent · #9 (**permalink**) 06-01-2009, 07:58 PM

.......

LivingAlmostLarge · #10 (**permalink**) 06-02-2009, 08:17 AM

Not only that but waiting until marriage I've seen has caused people to rush into marriage just for sex. Yeah great reason. Only to end up miserable and divorced soon after. Classic case and point...Jessica Simpson. Would he have married her if she gave itup? Probably not. But then he would have placed a higher premium on the relationship than sex.

It's when you and your partner are ready.

Angio333 · #11 (**permalink**) 06-06-2009, 08:37 PM

After you are married. True love waits.

Angio333 · #12 (**permalink**) 06-06-2009, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

Not only that but waiting until marriage I've seen has caused people to rush into marriage just for sex. Yeah great reason. Only to end up miserable and divorced soon after. Classic case and point...Jessica Simpson. Would he have married her if she gave itup? Probably not. But then he would have placed a higher premium on the relationship than sex.

It's when you and your partner are ready.

How do you know she REALLY was a virgin or was just pretending for the positive press?

Well Spent · #13 (**permalink**) 06-08-2009, 07:57 PM

I don't believe in marrying before having sex. It is wrong.

LivingAlmostLarge · #14 (**permalink**) 06-08-2009, 08:54 PM

I am guessing she waited. Mostly because if you watched her wedding they rushed into it in like 6 months.

tripods68 · #15 (**permalink**) 06-08-2009, 10:11 PM

3-month rule is actually a good gauge if your partner is serious about the relationship. Majority of the woman I dated didn't last longer than 3 months. The one that do, became long term for me. But I wouldn't "rush" going all out getting married right a way after 3 months.

sendacow · #16 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 05:53 AM

a totally personal decision that is different for everyone!

tmvijai · #17 (**permalink**) 06-17-2009, 12:15 PM

wow! very interesting topic. coming from totally different culture, i have an easy answer. I didn't date any girl, it is arranged marriage. Say the girl once, talk to her over the phone for 6 months and got married even without spending a night with her.

Then spent the first night with her expecting for sex but no luck. She wasn't ready and had to wait for a month or so. Wait was well worth it.
So it all depends.

Well Spent · #18 (**permalink**) 06-20-2009, 03:24 PM

How old were both you?

Culture plays a big role in our expectations. It's hard for all of us to think any way differently than how we are raised. Also, age is a big deal. Being a virgin in an arranged marriage at 18 is way different than 23 or older. Sex and money are the biggest reasons why marriages are happy or sad. (I don't say "fail" because often failed marriages are the ones that last the longest due to anger and spite).

LivingAlmostLarge · #19 (**permalink**) 06-20-2009, 06:09 PM

Um, yeah. Can you imagine someone being 35 and a virgin? How many really are out there?

Seeker · #20 (**permalink**) 06-22-2009, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Well Spent

At what point in a romantic relationship do you believe you can trust the person enough to begin the sexual relationship? In other words, how much time should you take to make the decision?

Quote:

Originally Posted by disneysteve

As much time as you both need to agree that it is the right decision. If neither of you is ready, it is not the right time. If one of you is ready and the other isn't, it is not the right time. It is impossible for anyone to give a more specific answer than that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Well Spent

It's all about compromise

I knew one week in what I want. But I want to be sure before I invest more in this. I figure 3 months will give me good info about him. Plus he's not ready to put out yet so I'm trying to be patient.

One week in???? Are you sure you're not the one operating on feelings rather than he? He's not ready and you're trying to be patient?

I think I'd run if I were the guy here. Especially if you've "made a mistake" before and think knowing "one week in" is anything other than history repeating itself. This is obviously important to you... maybe more important than it should be.

At any rate, DisneySteve is correct. If he's not ready, then you need to back off. "Trying to be patient" will show.. and it will blind you to anything else. He knows what you want; he probably feels pressure enough.

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