Sex

[tmvijai]

wow! very interesting topic. coming from totally different culture, i have an easy answer. I didn't date any girl, it is arranged marriage. Say the girl once, talk to her over the phone for 6 months and got married even without spending a night with her.

Then spent the first night with her expecting for sex but no luck. She wasn't ready and had to wait for a month or so. Wait was well worth it.
So it all depends.

[RedThunderBird]

well that another way to look at it ===== I guess

[Well Spent]

How old were both you?

Culture plays a big role in our expectations. It's hard for all of us to think any way differently than how we are raised. Also, age is a big deal. Being a virgin in an arranged marriage at 18 is way different than 23 or older. Sex and money are the biggest reasons why marriages are happy or sad. (I don't say "fail" because often failed marriages are the ones that last the longest due to anger and spite).

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Um, yeah. Can you imagine someone being 35 and a virgin? How many really are out there?

[RedThunderBird]

well ============= sorry , but not me

[Seeker]

Originally Posted by Well Spent

At what point in a romantic relationship do you believe you can trust the person enough to begin the sexual relationship? In other words, how much time should you take to make the decision?

Originally Posted by disneysteve

As much time as you both need to agree that it is the right decision. If neither of you is ready, it is not the right time. If one of you is ready and the other isn't, it is not the right time. It is impossible for anyone to give a more specific answer than that.

Originally Posted by Well Spent

It's all about compromise I knew one week in what I want. But I want to be sure before I invest more in this. I figure 3 months will give me good info about him. Plus he's not ready to put out yet so I'm trying to be patient.

One week in???? Are you sure you're not the one operating on feelings rather than he? He's not ready and you're trying to be patient?

I think I'd run if I were the guy here. Especially if you've "made a mistake" before and think knowing "one week in" is anything other than history repeating itself. This is obviously important to you... maybe more important than it should be.

At any rate, DisneySteve is correct. If he's not ready, then you need to back off. "Trying to be patient" will show.. and it will blind you to anything else. He knows what you want; he probably feels pressure enough.

[Well Spent]

..........

[wincrasher]

You should just throw down on the first date. Do it all - oral, anal, vaginal - don't use any condoms. Act shocked if you end up pregnant or get a disease. Getting HIV is all made up by the media - it could never happen to you.

If you get knocked up, he'll definitely want to marry you.

I've watched MTV - I see what all the kids are doing these days.

[Well Spent]

Originally Posted by tmvijai

wow! very interesting topic. coming from totally different culture, i have an easy answer. I didn't date any girl, it is arranged marriage. Say the girl once, talk to her over the phone for 6 months and got married even without spending a night with her.

Then spent the first night with her expecting for sex but no luck. She wasn't ready and had to wait for a month or so. Wait was well worth it.
So it all depends.

Are you and she happy? Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have sex with someone other than her? Do you have any regrets about anything you may have missed out on?

[PennySaved]

At whatever point you would feel comfortable raising a child with the person. Seriously, if what you are doing could produce a child, you need to be ready to do it if it happens.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I'll wave my hand here and say that I think my DH and I got pregnant first time out. So one mistake or accident is really all it takes.

If you aren't ready for the repercussions of sex with the person you are with then you shouldn't do it.

That's how you determine whether you are ready.

[mom-from-missouri]

Originally Posted by Well Spent

It's all about compromise I knew one week in what I want. But I want to be sure before I invest more in this. I figure 3 months will give me good info about him. Plus he's not ready to put out yet so I'm trying to be patient.

This to me is just a very disrespectful attitude. "he;s not ready to put out yet"????
3 months for "good info"??
I know a person who married and 7 years later found out "bad info"--time doesn't give you the info always.....
What if he wants to wait longer? will that mean he isn't worth it to you?

We waited until after we were married and there are no complaints.

Also, no issues over who has what disease or who was in his/her past and no worries about who he is comparing me to.

Guess I am old fashioned. I believe in the 10 commandments and the wedding ring first.

[mom-from-missouri]

Besides--waiting is more frugal--you don't have to worry about buying birth control!

[Well Spent]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I'll wave my hand here and say that I think my DH and I got pregnant first time out. So one mistake or accident is really all it takes.

If you aren't ready for the repercussions of sex with the person you are with then you shouldn't do it.

That's how you determine whether you are ready.

What do you mean 1st time out? Haven't you two been together for years and using BC?

[Well Spent]

..........

[LivingAlmostLarge]

First time without birth control, after 9 years it's planned pregnancy. Not planned in the sense that I had no idea what my cycle was or when we should have sex. I didn't even bother with temperature, etc.

Just said let's have kids and whammo. We have a baby on the way. At 30, I thought it'd take like 3-6 months. Huh, apparently not.

And all it took was one time.

[mtsen]

and the reason for such a vast differences is ...

sex is an simple series of acts. however subject to all kind of interpretation from many angles.

if u think sex desire is just like eating desire, then u can have sex anytime. The consequences is STD or in eating case - over weight.

if sex is the bond of 2 person, then you may want to find the right person to bond. Once the person is right, you can bond anytime.

if sex is the relationship enhancer, then you should have sex every time you need to 'enhance' ...

if sex is the soul kind of stuff, you may need to wait till marriage, this and that .... just in case those are the soul kind of stuff too.

~ hope no one gets offended as I am new here, am just trying to bring fun to every one here ~

[davecc]

After you are married. True love waits.

what's wrong with you people??? what if your partner sucks at sex? are you going to get divorced?

For me, if you think you found the right person, a few days is good enough! )