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04-02-2009, 05:48 AM
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Which is better
A purely non-financial question, is it better to go back to visit someone right before they die and miss the funeral or go back for their funeral?
I ask because my great grandmother is not doing well. It's not the cost of the trip but the time. I want to go back, but if I go back now I doubt I can go back for the funeral. But I really want to see her. Is it okay to do it now instead of the funeral? Also I'm not sure she's going to die, but I feel that this is it. It's close to the end since she turned 100.
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LivingAlmostLarge Blog 
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04-02-2009, 06:32 AM
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Funerals are for the family. They certainly aren't for the deceased. If you want to be there to support the family, go to the funeral. If you want to be there to say your goodbyes to the person, go now. I'd vote for going now. You can support the family in other ways. You can't say goodbye any other way.
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Steve * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular. * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything? * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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04-02-2009, 07:05 AM
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Go now, you need to see her now and not worry about the funeral.
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04-02-2009, 07:15 AM
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Go see her, funerals are for the living not the dead. As to supporting your family a phone call later on is far more helpful. The grieving rarely know who is or isn't at the funeral. They always know who helped them through the grieving process though.
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04-02-2009, 01:55 PM
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Agreed, you should go to see her now... I've been to too many funerals already, and trust me -- if you wait for the funeral, you will have wished you had gone before.
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"Praestantia per minutus" ... "Acta non verba"
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04-02-2009, 02:06 PM
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As Kork says you will definitely wish you had gone now and got your chance to say goodbye to them when they could, hopefully, comprehend it.
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"Those who can't remember the past are condemmed to repeat it".- George Santayana.
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04-02-2009, 03:11 PM
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I agree with everyone else. Go see her now.
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04-02-2009, 11:12 PM
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I agree with the others, I'd go see her now while she's still alive
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04-13-2009, 02:37 AM
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Agreed with all, better go and see her now, you will feel good.
______________________ Personal finance software
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05-07-2009, 01:19 AM
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If you really want to see her, then you should go now. She will give you her blessings before she dies and maybe she will die when you are there after giving you her blessings so you will even attend burial.
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05-12-2009, 03:29 PM
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I know for me, if my time was coming, I'd like to see familiar faces before I go. I don't think I'd be able to see them after.
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01-30-2010, 07:27 PM
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By all means go and see her now. Make some good memories of her while she's still around. Funerals can be missed and you won't have missed much!
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02-09-2010, 09:51 PM
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I just went an saw my great grand father before he died last week, and I'm glad that I did.
He was in hospital and not doing too well, but at least I was able to talk to him and I don't have a feeling of regret that I should have done it before he passed away.
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