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Old 04-02-2009, 05:48 AM
LivingAlmostLarge LivingAlmostLarge is offline
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Default Which is better

A purely non-financial question, is it better to go back to visit someone right before they die and miss the funeral or go back for their funeral?

I ask because my great grandmother is not doing well. It's not the cost of the trip but the time. I want to go back, but if I go back now I doubt I can go back for the funeral. But I really want to see her. Is it okay to do it now instead of the funeral?

Also I'm not sure she's going to die, but I feel that this is it. It's close to the end since she turned 100.
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Old 04-02-2009, 06:32 AM
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Funerals are for the family. They certainly aren't for the deceased. If you want to be there to support the family, go to the funeral. If you want to be there to say your goodbyes to the person, go now. I'd vote for going now. You can support the family in other ways. You can't say goodbye any other way.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:05 AM
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Go now, you need to see her now and not worry about the funeral.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:15 AM
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Go see her, funerals are for the living not the dead. As to supporting your family a phone call later on is far more helpful. The grieving rarely know who is or isn't at the funeral. They always know who helped them through the grieving process though.
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Old 04-02-2009, 07:54 AM
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go see her !
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Old 04-02-2009, 01:55 PM
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Agreed, you should go to see her now... I've been to too many funerals already, and trust me -- if you wait for the funeral, you will have wished you had gone before.
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Old 04-02-2009, 02:06 PM
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As Kork says you will definitely wish you had gone now and got your chance to say goodbye to them when they could, hopefully, comprehend it.
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Old 04-02-2009, 03:11 PM
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I agree with everyone else. Go see her now.
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Old 04-02-2009, 05:14 PM
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I'd go see her now.
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Old 04-02-2009, 11:12 PM
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I agree with the others, I'd go see her now while she's still alive
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Old 04-13-2009, 02:37 AM
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Agreed with all, better go and see her now, you will feel good.

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Old 04-14-2009, 08:57 PM
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I will see her before she closes her eyes for the last time.
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Old 04-27-2009, 05:02 PM
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good choice, always better to say bye, than wish you had
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Old 05-07-2009, 01:19 AM
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If you really want to see her, then you should go now. She will give you her blessings before she dies and maybe she will die when you are there after giving you her blessings so you will even attend burial.
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Old 05-10-2009, 01:57 AM
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Go now. You will have greater peace of mind for it.
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Old 05-12-2009, 03:29 PM
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I know for me, if my time was coming, I'd like to see familiar faces before I go. I don't think I'd be able to see them after.
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Old 05-12-2009, 03:33 PM
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Do both.
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Old 12-02-2009, 09:03 PM
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Definitely go see her now! Like you aid, you may not get another chance and you'll regret not doing it when you had the chance.
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Old 01-30-2010, 07:27 PM
floridaharris floridaharris is offline
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By all means go and see her now. Make some good memories of her while she's still around. Funerals can be missed and you won't have missed much!
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Old 02-09-2010, 09:51 PM
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I just went an saw my great grand father before he died last week, and I'm glad that I did.
He was in hospital and not doing too well, but at least I was able to talk to him and I don't have a feeling of regret that I should have done it before he passed away.
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