Head over to disboards.com. That is a great discussion forum for all things Disney.
To briefly answer your question:
I would NOT stay on site unless you can snag a really great special deal. If you can get one of the Value resorts for $49 or $59 it would probably be worth it. Otherwise, I'd recommend staying offsite. You do pay $11/day to park but you can save a lot more than that on an off-site hotel. You'll have a car so transportation isn't an issue.
You can pack snack food and even simple meals, like PB&J sandwiches, to take into the park. Also, bring your own water. We use a couple of refillable water bottles and either freeze them partly filled over night if we have a freezer, or fill them with ice and water in the morning. During the day, if we need more water, we just ask at one of the restaurants for ice and water. They'll give it to you for free.
Ticket prices are the hard part. Disney prices their tickets to favor longer stays and discourage 1 or 2 day visits. There are some tiny discounts available with AAA or a couple of other places but it only amounts to a few dollars per ticket.
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Steve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
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* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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