10 reason to get married

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Just asked this by my single guy roommate. Why do people get married? I only got like a couple of reasons and they aren't great.

1. children
2. not be alone
3. help when ill

heck I'm struggling which is weird right? I'm married but I don't know I'm happy with or without the certificate. And I got married because of a green card. And I would have wanted it before we had kids, but otherwise it didn't matter.

[jIM_Ohio]

1) Because you cannot imagine living without the significant other
2) less risk of catching STDs
3) Tax breaks
4) someone else can do the dishes
5) kids
6) because your own wedding is the best party you will ever attend
7) to prevent mother from bothering you about it
8) being single is just too much (Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday)
9) 9 months of a steady designated driver during pregnancy
10) some else can do your laundry

If anyone shows this list to my wife I will hunt you down and let you marry here. LOL.

[Broken Arrow]

Very interesting question. I'm just going to think out loud for a moment....

Well, let's see, human beings generally require social and emotional connection.

Once in a while, these connections go beyond just plutonic bonds.

In circumstances such as those, perhaps we desire exclusive relationships.

And seeing as how we are not psychic, we make formal vows that are reinforced through exchange in public rituals in order to show our level of commitment.

So, monogamous marriage is the most widely-accepted practice here in the US. And though it's not the only kind in the world, all society has some kind of formal ritual for forming exclusive bonds.

From a sociological standpoint, perhaps it's a necessary invention. Because it's a mechanism that helps to reinforce the relationship's integrity. A lot of issues ranging from personal economics and child-raising also rely heavily on this mechanism.

Sorry I can't give you a simple 10 reasons list. However, my personal conclusion is this: If you don't think it's a big deal, chances are, you probably don't need it or it doesn't have any influence on you for some reason. On the other hand, for some, it can be extremely meaningful, either through personal meaning and/or necessity. Some may also change their mind and find the use and desire of marriage some day as well....

[cptacek]

I think there are three elements to marriage:
1. Social/cultural
2. Legal/financial
3. Religious belief

It is often not socially acceptable to live with someone (this taboo is slowly fading in U.S.) or sleep around with multiple partners. Getting married satisfies our cultural mindset that marriage makes sex acceptable, and also implies that you are only having sex with one person.

It is also not socially acceptable to be single. If you are single and over a certain age (and a woman), a lot of your conversations will go "you aren't married yet?" or "you'll find the right person someday" or "Valentines' day must suck for you." Guys just get "getting any lately?" Getting married alleviates these conversations. (I was single till I turned 30, so I've had these thrown in my face a lot. I am not making fun, just sharing my experience.)

Sharing a house with someone is cheaper than living alone, and being married allows you to get discounts on health insurance, car insurance, you can get larger loans based on two incomes instead of one, and your tax brackets are larger. Social Security can pay out more if you are married. If you pay to have your taxes done, you will only get charged once instead of two times for preparing two different returns. You share financial rights and responsibilities, so if one person runs up a joint CC account, you are both on the hook for it. This can be an advantage and a disadvantage. If one person is self employed and the other person works at a company, the person working at the company can cover the self employed person's health insurance and other benefits for very little extra money compared to getting a stand alone policy. If you are married and then get divorced, there are legal safeguards in place; if you are not married and break up, there are none of these safeguards.

If you are married, you have rights at hospitals and long term care facilities that other non-married people don't. You can make decisions on behalf of the other person when they are incapacitated, while if you are not married, you have to go through a lot of legal wrangling beforehand to get those same rights.

Now, each person's religious values are different, but I believe that the vows you give to each other at your wedding are a sacred sacrament, and that experience is like nothing else. It was powerful, awe-inspiring and humbling, to know that you are committing yourselves to each other for the rest of your lives. I don't think that moving in together provides that same experience. Oh, and also on the religious front (at least mine ) we are encouraged to have sex and lots of it.

While these are all benefits, you shouldn't get married to escape awkward questions, get better benefits or feel more involved in your church. You should only get married if that person is the only person you ever want to be with and can see the two of you sitting in rocking chairs on your front porch when you are 80.

[MonkeyMama]

I can only think of one reason. Because I could not imagine NOT spending the rest of my life with my partner.

Though if you dig down deeper I can totally see the social aspects and why I would prefer to raise kids with a committed partner, etc. But I think most of that was subconscious. I wasn't necessarily very pro-marriage, but then I met the right guy and it just seemed like the right thing to do.

& legally there is much advantage.

[PrincessPerky]

I will ditto the wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone...I don't want to be apart from him ever!

if that factor isn't there, you prolly shouldn't marry, true love is the only thing that will carry you through the roller coaster of life.

there are days when I am a rotten wife, He still loves me and puts up with me. I got it down on paper that he will

Parenting is better with two (heck kids are rough, it would be better with 10!), but that is a reason to not have kids before marriage, not a reason to get married.

[Caoineag]

I know the only reason I married DH was as a way of promising him that he was the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and that I wouldn't be running away anytime soon.

There are lots of legal and financial benefits, but I never would have married if it wasn't for wanting to spend the rest of my life with my DH. Marriage wasn't something I cared that much about (obvious since we did a justice of the peace ceremony).

[cargirl86]

I'm 22 and single ... while I want to get married someday, I've yet to find that special person, and quite honestly ... I think I'd be fine never finding him! I really like living on my own and having a nice big bed to myself. My own bathroom. When I go grocery shopping, I worry about what I feel like eating.

That may come across as selfish ... but it's also really nice. :-)

[PrincessPerky]

I wish more folk were happy being single! Marriage is a wonderful thing for two folk deeply in love and wanting to be totally stuck together for the rest of their lives...for most folk it is a big mistake though.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I forgot about this PP.

But isn't it ironic that Palin's 17 year old pregnant daughter is leaping into marriage with a boy because of their baby?

I wonder how successful it will be?

[kork13]

I've found that alot of times, a situation like that depends on how supportive the families of both are... Not to downplay how difficult I'm certain it will be for them, but when you've got mom and dad on both sides there to ask for help, advice, or just as someone to talk/gripe to, that can make a world of difference for a very young couple. Just my observations based on a few friends/acquaintances that have both done very well and also done very poorly...

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Although another factor is how much you change from 17 to even 25 or 30? How much you grow up, and you have to grow up together. I meet my DH at 21 and am 29 now. I think how much we've changed and grown up. And we're lucky to still be together.

I wonder if we'd be together if we had been only 17? Not even experienced and finishd with college? Fully supporting adults but instead children dependent on parents?

[Johansen8]

Thinking it over
-- maybe more married women have insurance to access treatment

--married women have "more on their plate" in any 24hr. period Stress is behind quite a bit of depression.

[Gruntina]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

Although another factor is how much you change from 17 to even 25 or 30? How much you grow up, and you have to grow up together. I meet my DH at 21 and am 29 now. I think how much we've changed and grown up. And we're lucky to still be together.

I wonder if we'd be together if we had been only 17? Not even experienced and finishd with college? Fully supporting adults but instead children dependent on parents?

My first marriage was a mistake! I was expected to fill in an ideal role of a traditional wife. I was in school and craved knowledge and wanted more than a conventional life. My then husband did not like the fact that I was seemly making myself more successful career wise than him. So he would suppress me holding me back in order for him to remain the "bigger" person.

My now prince charming husband just loves me for whom I am, and he encourages me to bloom with my aspirations and goals. I do the same for him. We both will change no matter what and it is about the journey and going through it together instead of against each other. Our style of dancing together on this journey is smooth and in sync regardless of any sharp turns and/or surprises. It is so unlike stepping on each other toes in my first marriage.

Compatibility and flexibility is important to me along with having desires and genuine care for each other, and so far my marriage now is working out great. My husband is whom I am commited to and proudly stakes my claim with him through my marriage vows. I strongly believe healthy couples provide a lot for the community and thus marriage is a community service as well as personal. I am a happy person and that affects everyone around me.

[mom-from-missouri]

Originally Posted by LivingAlmostLarge

I forgot about this PP.

But isn't it ironic that Palin's 17 year old pregnant daughter is leaping into marriage with a boy because of their baby?

I wonder how successful it will be?

You never know. During the time I have worked at a crisis center I have seen it work and not work. Yet, I know a couple who have now been married over 50 years who started out getting married when she was 16 and preg. They are happy and have many children, grandchildren and I might add, are frugal people! She spoke once at a womens breakfast. She said their secret was to always respect and back up your spouse, and to always put your spouse first. He also spoke and said he would not of dreamed of not marrying her because it was the responsible thing to do. I think today a lot of people in a lot of various circumstances don't even know the meaning of responsibility, or respect.

[JeanneElle]

Originally Posted by jIM_Ohio

1) Because you cannot imagine living without the significant other
2) less risk of catching STDs
3) Tax breaks
4) someone else can do the dishes
5) kids
6) because your own wedding is the best party you will ever attend
7) to prevent mother from bothering you about it
8) being single is just too much (Stay Intoxicated Nightly, Get Laid Everyday)
9) 9 months of a steady designated driver during pregnancy
10) some else can do your laundry

If anyone shows this list to my wife I will hunt you down and let you marry here. LOL.

LOL LOL

[KB24]

Originally Posted by jIM_Ohio

10) some else can do your laundry

Haha... you better clear your web history so your wife doesn't catch this!

[dmarisca]

1.) Love for each other and a desire to strengthen the bond between them.
2.) Desire to raise a family.
3.) Financial reasons (many studies show that married couples are financially more stable and better off, in general, than singles).
4.) Social pressure.

[arian.mae]

I guess I only got two reasons why I wanted to get married... to have kids and raised them well and someone to be with me for the rest of my life, to comfort me, understands me and will love me forever...

[GrimJack]

I am 60 and spent most of my time as a bachelor both living alone and living in shared housing (not w/partner). I was quite pleased with my situation then I met DW about 20 years ago, I asked her to marry me about 17 years ago and we will get married RSN! We are very compatible and maybe just a little too similar in that we are nearly identical politically. We do not want kids; we want companionship and may get another cat soon (our last cat lived to 19 and died in our lap).