[Squantum]

I think you need to stop looking for "assistance" as the silver bullet. Rather than looking for assistance, could you look for a better-paying job, preferably one with very good health insurance, given the impending birth and expansion in your family size. Also, would you be willing to post your income and expenses, so people can help you look for areas to cut?

Do you live in the United States? If so, I don't understand why you think your wife would qualify for assistance if you get a divorce or an annulment. As far as I know, although I have no experience with this, the non-custodial parent would then have to pay child support to the custodial parent. I agree that having a kid is very expensive if you have to pay for daycare. For many people I know, once it comes to having 2 kids in daycare, it gets so expensive that one parent doesn't work (or works at home). Of course, in my area, daycare is much more expensive than the rates you quote, so that is undoubtedly a factor. So, I think it is very important -- ideally -- do do financial planning before trying to conceive. Of course, you're past this point so you need to figure out what to do with the balls you have in play right now.