So sorry to hear about your mom
. Definitely must be hard to have to deal with everything at once. Do you have any friends that are lawyers that you can just ask about the time in the process? I'm lucky that both my folks are still alive, but I have numerous friends who have lost one or both their parents, so know that when the time comes, they'll help guide me through the "must do's".
Probate can take a long time, unfortunately. Are you using a probate lawyer? for some reason, i thought they dealt with all that - of course, you have the expenses that go with it, though.
Sorry, I'm realizing I'm no help here! - but, you could call legal aid in your area and ask some questions and I think that's free!