Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Harry00
I just wanted to be "somebody". I suffer from shizophrenia and lost a lot of years, I mean a lot of years. I wanted "stuff" so I could be somebody. Anybody. Being sick and being in the hospital really sucks.
|
wow, harry, sounds like you've done a great job becoming somebody already. schizophrenia can be dibilitating, and the fact that you're not hospitalized now speaks volumes.
i went through the same kind of thing, wanting to be 'somebody', but i just didn't know what. i kept a notebook and started writing down a number list of of things I wanted in my life. It looked kind of like this:
"I want to..."
- be the kind of person who drinks hot tea
- snuggle each cat i own individually
- always have money in a savings account
- cook three meals at home per week
- read a book a week
- buy a home before i turn thirty
my list was over 100 items long, and most of them turned out to have nothing to do with stuff. they were things that i wanted to do, or felt bad for not doing, or even things that i thought might shape the type of person i was or could be. granted, drinking hot tea every day didn't change me as a person *grin*, but the 10 minutes of relaxation it gives me actually made a big difference.
i still haven't finished the list, and sometimes i add and remove things as i change as a person, but for me this has 're-routed' my fantasies away from stuff and towards myself and who i want to be.