The only thing that really hurt my feelings was that my pastor was soupposed to co-officiate with the priest at DH's church (where I also grew up) --- then 2 months before the wedding, he accepted ANOTHER wedding for the same time!
I was really hurt by that, but what's worse, I only found out when his wife wrote it on the reply card! I had just seen him in church that week and he didn't tell me! (And yes, I was VERY involved in my church). More than that, though, they didn't even send a card!
Lots of other folks didn't give gifts or send cards, but they knew gifts weren't expected, and in fact, they knew that I wouldn't want them to (many were really struggling). And most gave great hugs when they saw us in church. I do still have all the cards we received, though -- they're so pretty, I just keep thinking I should do something with them!